Definitions by HockeyBinge
Tesla Driver
Tesla drivers are 70% Altima, 29% Prius, and 1% other. The Altima type weave traffic, cut in front of commercial trucks, going 95mph+ when the freeways are open, and hitting curbs. The Prius type drive irratically, drift out of the lane, impede traffic, and generally have a lack of situational awareness. They'll have a dent on the middle of the trunk from backing into a pole in the parking garage of their $4k/mo gentrification apartment in Sunnyvale. Tesla has the distinction of being third highest accident rate by make, right behind Ram and Subaru; no amount of technology can save them from their stupidity. The other 1% of drivers are wealthy CEOs/execs in a Model S Plaid who take great pride and care in their vehicle and drive quite normal.
Most Tesla drivers will claim that their vehicle is "maintenance free" meanwhile they drive on bald tires, rotted bushings, broken plastic trim, and shitty wheel covers that are about to fall off. The vehicle is likely neglected due to poor financial decisions such as spending their entire corporate peasant paycheck on a luxury handbag they bought from Valley Fair in San Jose. They are also behind on car payments and registration, and likely to be uninsured and driving on a suspended or no license.
Owning a Tesla to these people is a flex or status symbol, but in reality they look like NPCs when everyone and their auntie drive one. They try to live above their means and are miserably drowning in debt.
Most Tesla drivers will claim that their vehicle is "maintenance free" meanwhile they drive on bald tires, rotted bushings, broken plastic trim, and shitty wheel covers that are about to fall off. The vehicle is likely neglected due to poor financial decisions such as spending their entire corporate peasant paycheck on a luxury handbag they bought from Valley Fair in San Jose. They are also behind on car payments and registration, and likely to be uninsured and driving on a suspended or no license.
Owning a Tesla to these people is a flex or status symbol, but in reality they look like NPCs when everyone and their auntie drive one. They try to live above their means and are miserably drowning in debt.
Tesla Driver by HockeyBinge April 24, 2026
Beaver whistle
Term used to describe a tampon applicator that was improperly disposed of or littered, oftentimes when they show up in sewage or septic systems
Dan: HOW MANY BEAVER WHISTLES DID YOU FIND TODAY HOSS?
Todd: GOT ABOUT 20 TODAY, MA PERSONAL BEST. GOBBLESS
Todd: GOT ABOUT 20 TODAY, MA PERSONAL BEST. GOBBLESS
Beaver whistle by HockeyBinge April 18, 2026
4-wheeler
Slang used by commercial drivers/truckers to describe reckless, dangerous, and ignorant drivers who operate motor vehicles on four wheels (hence the name) such as cars, SUVs, vans, and pickups. Common behaviors of 4-wheelers include tailgating/bunching, blocking merges, improper lane usage, veering out of lanes, being glued to their mobile phone, illegal and unsafe passes, excessive horn usage, brake checking, and accident/insurance fraud.
4-wheeler by HockeyBinge October 15, 2025
CDL Holder
One who has a commercial driver's license, but lacks the proper skills to drive their commercial vehicle or drives around carelessly and has many safety incidents/violations under their belt. Often have zero regard for other motorists, pedestrians, and stationary objects. Can't read traffic signs and clearance signs. Terrible at backing and docking even with 10 miles of space. They skip their pre-trip inspection and have no idea how their vehicle works or operates. They are commercial "drivers" in name only, probably got their license from a cereal box. Somewhat synonymous to steering wheel holders or flip-flop truckers
Frank already damaged three trailers driving into tree branches and awnings. What a CDL holder 🙄 Somehow he's still working here
CDL Holder by HockeyBinge July 23, 2025
Toyota Driver
All Toyota/Lexus drivers share one braincell. They can be typically seen camping in the left/passing lane. Toyota drivers are generally unaware of their surroundings, driving erratically and slow. Their vehicles sometimes have a dent on the rear bumper from going too slow or being terrible at maneuvering parking lots, rather common on Camrys.
When a Toyota driver decides to sell their vehicle, they think it's worth its weight in gold and list it way too high; a prime example of this is the Land Cruiser.
When a Toyota driver decides to sell their vehicle, they think it's worth its weight in gold and list it way too high; a prime example of this is the Land Cruiser.
Toyota Driver by HockeyBinge January 13, 2025