Menards

My testicles

He kicked me in menards.

by Hlalakar May 14, 2020

Tourmaline

A magical class of complex borosilicates that can't wait to straighten your hair, gauge your pressure, adorn your bling, or fuck you up the ass.

The electrical properties of tourmaline make it great for pressure guages, and it feels great crammed into my balloon knot.

by Hlalakar June 25, 2020

taint wafer

perineal dandruff

I use Head and Shoulders on my chode because I have a bad case of taint wafer.

by Hlalakar May 14, 2020

gender roles

A small individual loaf of bread that may considers itself to be male, female, or neither.

It doesn't matter if you don't believe that kaiser gender roles are women. Using their preferred pronoun is just the polite thing to do.

by Hlalakar June 06, 2020

Arctite

A rare colorless transparent mineral with the chemical formula of Na2Ca4(PO4)3F and found only in the Kola peninsula of Russia. Commonly mistaken for a fire type pokemon.

I was really lucky to find such an inexpensive arctite specimen.

by Hlalakar June 28, 2020

straight tiktok

A heterosexual analog watch or clock.

My timepiece asked me not to jack off in front of him because he's a straight tiktok.

by Hlalakar May 20, 2020

dildonot

A dangerous dildo never intended to actually be used.

After mistaking a dildonot for her regular sex toy, Mary accidentally gave herself a prolapsed uterus.

by Hlalakar June 06, 2020