It was time to quit the Ramble, Panda knew, when the ridickulous combover next to him on the bench cleared his throat, put a hand on The Good One’s Carhartted knee and began to praise the Norway maples. Panda just went there for the birds.
Archie said, "I may be intersex and whatever, but that doesn't mean I appreciated ridickulous purple-tanned Brad in a rainbow speedo bouncing up behind me last summer at Cherries On the Bay."
Archie said, "I may be intersex and whatever, but that doesn't mean I appreciated ridickulous purple-tanned Brad in a rainbow speedo bouncing up behind me last summer at Cherries On the Bay."
by Hifalutin! February 04, 2022
Get the Ridickulous mug.Detta swung her foomfy pillows over the side and got up to face another day. Robert Crumb watched approvingly, setting the needle down on his morning Elmore James selection (original, not remastered) before padding back to bed. “The Sky Is Crying” was all he had now, that and Detta’s thighs.
“Rad barrels, bro,” says Caleb, shaking droplets from his hair and holding aloft his longboard at Maverick's.
“Later,” says cousin Om, "Can’t hear you.” Eyes glomming onto the wenches ranged across the sand.
“You always were a thigh bloke,” says Caleb. “When will you wake up to good old fashioned T and A?”
“Them’s my father’s trip,” says Om. “I prefer the pillows.”
“Rad barrels, bro,” says Caleb, shaking droplets from his hair and holding aloft his longboard at Maverick's.
“Later,” says cousin Om, "Can’t hear you.” Eyes glomming onto the wenches ranged across the sand.
“You always were a thigh bloke,” says Caleb. “When will you wake up to good old fashioned T and A?”
“Them’s my father’s trip,” says Om. “I prefer the pillows.”
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
Get the Pillows mug.“I hated all those bleeping webinars,” snaps Micro, “and the boss would always check the Zoom chat to see who actively attended. Now I beg off with The Big Excuse, saying it’s long-haul and I’m too foggy to grok what’s going on. She was sensitive about it. Ha!”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
by Hifalutin! February 05, 2022
Get the The Big Excuse mug.Ursie: I consumed five rather three chocochip cookies every night of the shut-in rather than my usual two — and that was after dessert. But c’est le pudge pandemique! C’est la vie!
Brittini: I grok it totally. I had to move to a 2x at Savage x Fenty—luckily Rocco doesn’t mind a bigger me as long as there’s black lace involved. He says he prefers le pudge pandemique.
“It was just mama and me every night for dinner,” says Panda. “Le pudge pandemique! Crested at 240 pounds.”
Jacko said, “I know, Good One, you’ve raved about her butter chicken, not to mention the naan! I envy your fat rolls. Evelynne and I were scared to step foot in Foodtown, so we ate grape nuts most nights. We’re skeletons.”
Brittini: I grok it totally. I had to move to a 2x at Savage x Fenty—luckily Rocco doesn’t mind a bigger me as long as there’s black lace involved. He says he prefers le pudge pandemique.
“It was just mama and me every night for dinner,” says Panda. “Le pudge pandemique! Crested at 240 pounds.”
Jacko said, “I know, Good One, you’ve raved about her butter chicken, not to mention the naan! I envy your fat rolls. Evelynne and I were scared to step foot in Foodtown, so we ate grape nuts most nights. We’re skeletons.”
by Hifalutin! February 13, 2022
Get the le pudge pandemique mug.“They’re still working with Leo on his toileting – it’s about time, he’s entering kindeegarden soon!” said Grandmaw, “ – so we were happy when the tike left us a nice casserole in the powder room w.c.”
“I thought I smelled something,” said Kath.
“No, that’s the venison stew,” said Grandmaw. “Soup’s on soon.”
Her homeys consigned Beatrice to the garret of Delta Sigma Theta, which had a private bath. When she protested, she was told that her casseroles were too fragrant for the shared space below.
“I thought I smelled something,” said Kath.
“No, that’s the venison stew,” said Grandmaw. “Soup’s on soon.”
Her homeys consigned Beatrice to the garret of Delta Sigma Theta, which had a private bath. When she protested, she was told that her casseroles were too fragrant for the shared space below.
by Hifalutin! March 06, 2022
Get the Casserole mug."It was minuscule, the amount we wanted for doing Hamburger Harry's on-line promo," p.r. flack Mindee told her livid boss, "but the chain's point-guy said that they were simply ask-less for now."
"I'll crunch the numbers for you," Felix said in the two minutes he was given with the football giant. "You Venmo us 40 million and we will stamp your name and number on Apple pencils for distribution to every football news jock in the country."
"Numbskull," cautioned the legend smoothly, wondering which of his gatekeepers had let Felix through. "It's not that I'm ask-less, but go elsewhere to peddle your shlock. I'm Peyton Manning."
"I'll crunch the numbers for you," Felix said in the two minutes he was given with the football giant. "You Venmo us 40 million and we will stamp your name and number on Apple pencils for distribution to every football news jock in the country."
"Numbskull," cautioned the legend smoothly, wondering which of his gatekeepers had let Felix through. "It's not that I'm ask-less, but go elsewhere to peddle your shlock. I'm Peyton Manning."
by Hifalutin! February 09, 2022
Get the Ask-less mug.Me: You’ve got to come see my niece Addie solo with the high school jazz band—for a ninth grader, she seriously ellavates that shit.
Family friend: Must be in the blood – You used to know something about ellavating when you were a young chanteuse.
“Whitney could trill for sure,” asserted the pompous pop critic, “but she never had it in her to ellavate.”
Family friend: Must be in the blood – You used to know something about ellavating when you were a young chanteuse.
“Whitney could trill for sure,” asserted the pompous pop critic, “but she never had it in her to ellavate.”
by Hifalutin! February 02, 2022
Get the Ellavate mug.