At Grandad’s wake, Uncle Mungo creeped over to me, he stank of semen and cigarettes... he was clearly pleased to see me, judging by the way he dribbled in my ear and rubbed his crotch on my thigh as he forced me into a horrific GUG...,
I hate gugging at a family get-together, it really puts me off Auntie Tabatha’s excellent scotch eggs.
I hate gugging at a family get-together, it really puts me off Auntie Tabatha’s excellent scotch eggs.
by Herbert Schweffe June 02, 2021
To mum's horror, Simon pulled off his trousers and paraded around the sitting room; proudly sticking his angry erection in the air like a big flesh chimney.
by Herbert Schweffe November 15, 2017
Schofielding
Hiding ones sexual orientation in plain view. Preferably for a number of decades and under the red hot glare of the media spotlight.
Hiding ones sexual orientation in plain view. Preferably for a number of decades and under the red hot glare of the media spotlight.
As the interview reached its climax, the silver haired chat show host couldn't keep his eyes off the Iraq war veterans bulging biceps. "What must he look like with his top off" he wondered. The commercial break couldn't come quick enough. As he ran to the green room toilets, he discharged violently and without control, soaking the crouch and one entire trouser leg of his immaculately tailored Saville Row suit.
"Enough's enough!" he exclaimed, as his Producer towelled him dry
"it really is time to tell the kids."
"I totally agree" sighed his long suffering Producer,
"you really have been Schofielding for way too long."
"Enough's enough!" he exclaimed, as his Producer towelled him dry
"it really is time to tell the kids."
"I totally agree" sighed his long suffering Producer,
"you really have been Schofielding for way too long."
by Herbert Schweffe February 07, 2020
Gary dropped to his knees to admire Alan’s enormous Gunk Cannon, “I couldn’t possibly fit that in” he exclaimed.
by Herbert Schweffe October 24, 2019
The vision of Tracey's swinging knockers was too much for Liam to bare. As he sat on the bus with his shopping bags hiding his bulge, he discharged violently and without contol, filling his trousers with a seemingly endless stream of cock sick.
He felt hollow, desperate to clean up his awful mess. But with 8 stops to go he could do nothing but let himself dry, the spunk fusing his leg hairs to his pants like Human Glue
He felt hollow, desperate to clean up his awful mess. But with 8 stops to go he could do nothing but let himself dry, the spunk fusing his leg hairs to his pants like Human Glue
by Herbert Schweffe August 19, 2018
A word smash of ‘Stuff’ and ‘Spunk’; quantities of semen so voluminous that it simply becomes meaningless or immeasurable… like the amount of individual shit tickets on a jumbo roll of toilet paper, or the quantity of dog turd collected by every council in the UK over the course of a year.
As Angus, Felix, Humphrey, Baxter, Maddox, Julien Clive and Barney all reached a frenzied and unified climax, they released enormous ribbons of Spuff over Duncan’s prone backside…
Later, as they moped up their collective triumph, it dawned upon Maddox how much more Spuff they could have created if Henry, Jacob, Gerald, Marmaduke, Cecil, Peter and Eggy Rupert hadn’t all been away at the Rugby 7’s in Gloucester.
Later, as they moped up their collective triumph, it dawned upon Maddox how much more Spuff they could have created if Henry, Jacob, Gerald, Marmaduke, Cecil, Peter and Eggy Rupert hadn’t all been away at the Rugby 7’s in Gloucester.
by Herbert Schweffe June 18, 2023
Planked - Hit with the ugly stick
by Herbert Schweffe February 23, 2021