Hempn's definitions

PS3

A console shaped like a mini grill that has controllers with a crappy layout. Two analog sticks that are way too sensative and leave you in an awkward position while using them. The controller has a useless accessory called a sixaxis. It measures rotation and acceleration, it's meant to enhance the experience but it really fucks it up. Fuck the ps3.

Penis
Sucking
3-somes

Dude 1: I just bought a ps3!
Dude 2: that sucks. Now you can't play great games like halo 3

by Hempn February 26, 2010

iCarly

The fall of good television as we know it. The show has conflicts that are usually resolved by predictable outcomes. The humor is neithor satire nor comedy, it's a new blend of humor called nonsensism. The two bitches constantly stick their faces in front of the camera whick makes viewers flinch due to their faces being too fucking round and convex. Their jokes are as poor and just sad. And what's with the 20 year old hanging out with two ugly whores.

Dude 1: ( enters room )
dude 2: are you watching icarly?
Dude 1: no, I just watch it because… Carly is kinda cute.

Dude 2: you must be fucking gay if you think Carly is a girl. She needs to grow out of her size A-.0001 bra size. And don't you see that bulge on her crotch. Fucking crotch stuffer.

Dude 1: I'm changing the channel to seinfield.

by Hempn February 27, 2010

The Great Journey

The act of running across the dark hallway to your parents room when you were a kid. Sprinting is used when the kid is crossing the darkest part of the hallway.

Little kid: (runs to parents room while making ally of noise)

big brother: That little shit woke me up, he must be doing the great journey. I'll fucking scare him next time

by Hempn February 27, 2010

Set for life

When someone wins the lottery or accumulates over 5 million dollars. Once they have enough money they can go into retirement under the age of 30 or early 40s. After they retire, they can buy a nice house and do whatever the fuck they want without working or having the need of money again.

Will smith: fuck yeah, now that I just finished the film iRobot, Im baisically set for life.

by Hempn March 2, 2010

Shit Before Showering

A lesson some people may have to Lear the hard way. When someone has a really bad shit but then has to take a shower ( usually during Shit, Shower, Shave time.) and while taking the shower, they must endure the smell of poop for however long their shower is.

Dude 1: damn it smells in here! Next time I'd better shit before showering.

by Hempn March 2, 2010

Hempn

Sometimes spelled " hemping" is the act of driving to the worst part of town to look for the nearest drug dealer. Usually looking for hemp.

Dude 1: I wanna smoke some bud. Right fucking now!

Dude 2: Shit, let's go hempn

Or

Dude 1: damn, where's Alex, were supposed to be smokin right now.

Dude 2: Chill the fuck out, he's hempn. He'll be back in a bit.

by Hempn March 2, 2010

Id like to fuck

The variation of the phrase " I'd like to fuck.

Teacher- tilf*
Mother- milf
Cousin- cilf*
Stranger- silf
Grandmother- grand milf
Teen- tilf*
Cheerleader- cilf*
Bitch- bilf
Nurse- nilf*
Neighbor- nilf*

…and the list goes on

Dude 1: damn. Look at all those people Id like to fuck

Dude 2: yea. Everyone but the grand milf.

by Hempn March 4, 2010