Hellzapoppin''s definitions

Smegmagon

(noun) The geometric shape of a clusterfuck.

I went down to the local watering hole to take in the game and down a few pints, but the place was cordoned off with crime scene tape and surrounded by patrol cars; no way was I going to walk into that smegmagon.

by Hellzapoppin' September 16, 2021

LGBTQWTF

The tendency of the LGBTQ community to drive farther and farther into the completely absurd. Describes those who deliberately set out to be on the bleeding edge just to be "special enough" -- usually as a trend or influence -seeking affectation.

Kylie: What the hell is going on with Brad this week? He's going around telling people he identifies as a pyrosexual tablespoon and his pronouns are the color orange and the number 3?

Mike: I guess being bi wasn't getting him the attention he wanted. He's gone full LGBTQWTF now.

by Hellzapoppin' January 14, 2021

Red beer

noun., A red beer is similar to a michelada (or 'chelada) but not as fancy. Simply mix up one part light lager or IPA to one part V8 vegetable juice (the "Spicy" variety if you're feeling adventurous") and sock it down -- the colder it is, the better it works as a "hair of the dog" hangover remedy.

Jerry: "Fuck, dude, too much rye last night. Build me a red beer, will ya?"

Jake: "Yeah, I hear ya, I'll make two."

by Hellzapoppin' May 31, 2018

pewp

v. to defecate with violent intensity

n. the result of defecating with violent intensity

a. resembling the result of violent defecation

Pewp is a more intense version of poop, with the change in spelling meant to suggest violence (i.e. "Pew-pew-pew!", as if feces is being launched from, rather than squeezed out of, the anus.)

Pull over at the next rest stop, man! I gotta pewp so hard I'm liable to shatter a toilet bowl!

by Hellzapoppin' April 11, 2017

Shenannigasm

That euphoric high you feel when shenannigans have reached the pinnacle of fuckery and lulz.

Brian: "Dude, remember that time Kevin passed out and we pranked him by sticking his hand in a bowl of gravy, and when he woke up he smeared it all over his face?"
Zack: "Fuck yes, man, I'm just glad nobody recorded the mass shenannigasm we all had when that happened!"

by Hellzapoppin' December 6, 2020

Dago Ramen

What you make when:

1. You're hungry
2. You're poor
3. You have spaghetti noodles
3. You have no sauce and can't afford to buy sauce.

Dago Ramen is similar to asian ramen in that you cook the spaghetti in boiling water using various powdered flavors/spices, such as black pepper, garlic pepper, lemon pepper, Old Bay seasoning, Kickin' Chicken seasoning, beef or chicken bouillion cubes, or some combination of those ingredients. Sriracha sauce, if you have that, can give Dago Ramen a nice kick.

The trick is to add the flavor ingredients to the water *before* cooking the noodles, so that the seasoned water will cook its flavors into the noodles, making the flavoring nice and even.

Mick: "Man, I'm starvin'. What are we doin' for dinner?"
Ralph: "I'm basic broke, bro. Looks like it's a night for Dago Ramen."

by Hellzapoppin' June 1, 2021

Flumunda Cheez

Oily, viscous residue on an unwashed male scrotum, usually peppered with bits of lint and/or trapped pubic hairs.

"Ay yo, hey, you want some Flumunda cheez?"
"The fuck is 'Flumunda cheez'?"
"Da cheez flumunda deez nutz, foo!"

by Hellzapoppin' October 4, 2018