Harry flashman's definitions

kidney stone

God's punishment for the evil you've done in this life, a preview of what an eternity in Hell is going to be like unless you straighten up your act.

Whats a kidney stone feel like?...imagine someone lubricating some barbed wire with rock salt, shoving it up your penis...then pull starting the barbed wire like your pelvic area was a stubborn lawnmower.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

this is no shit

A preface to a statement or story, meaning: What follows is the absolute truth.

"This is no shit," said Bubba, "I killed a 37 point buck last weekend with a bow at 300 yards."

by harry flashman August 7, 2003

rumen

The first chamber of a ruminant's stomach in which bacteria break down food before it is returned to the mouth to be chewed as cud for nutrition.

Bubba: "Is Jolene got that PMS stuff...she been mighty cranky lately." Leroy: "Naw, her rumen upset."

by harry flashman July 30, 2003

chaps my ass

An expression used to indicate strong annoyance at someone or something, a stonger expression than "frosts my balls."

Getting served stale sweet tea really fucking chaps my ass.

by harry flashman July 23, 2003

elf abuse

An occasion of a small mischievious person playing a prank on his crank or a trick on his dick.

Mordred the Nimblehanded was turned out from clan Thistlewang for chronic elf abuse.

by harry flashman August 1, 2003

fuck me to tears

A cry of angst.

As the first M-1 Abrams rolled into Baghdad, Saddam cried out, "Fuck me to tears", shaved his beard, donned a dress, lightly applied make-up and then slipped out the back door and joined the fleeing refugees.

by harry flashman August 5, 2003

almoranha

Spanish slang for hemorrhoid, combining the words for "almond" and "piranha"

Deus mio..Ai-yi-i-i-i...los almoranha es grande caliente mi cuolo.

by harry flashman July 9, 2003