A phenomena that occurs 2 times a day: morning and afternoon. When crawling to the coffee machine in a desperate need of caffeine, popping in the Keurig coffee pod, watching with anticipation the machine warming up, and to your horror the bright blue light pops on, thus signaling the realization the asshole who last used it didn’t refill the water container.
Joanie shuffled into the kitchen at 6am to get her much needed cup of coffee, and waited the requisite 45 seconds while the Keurig machine warmed up. Then the dreaded blue light appeared. In middle class society, Joanie was afflicted with what has become known as the Keurig blue light special.
by Grant Rampus September 07, 2019
In hot real estate markets a housewife or soccer mom that subsidizes the household income by listing family and friend's houses for sale. Usually not very knowledgable about anything related to real estate, a real estate agent is often considered a career choice while raising children.
Hey hon, is your cousin Margie still a real estate agent or should we hire someone to sell the house? I can't remember if her kids are in school now.
by Grant Rampus July 04, 2016
A smartly-written show on HBO starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Although she plays the Vice President of the United States - hence the "Veep" show title, she might as well be playing Elaine from Seinfeld because she plays a character on Veep who is almost identical to Elaine's personality and mannerisms - with the delightful bonus of the gratuitous use of the word fuck.
Viewer 1: Hey, why is Elaine sitting in the Oval Office?
Viewer 2: It's not Seinfeld, dude. It's Veep!
Viewer 2: It's not Seinfeld, dude. It's Veep!
by Grant Rampus July 08, 2016
Generally a woman named Melinda or Judy that is single in her 40s (occasionally divorced in her late 50s), that wears a navy suit while researching and communicating health benefits. Other useless tasks endeavored include interviewing more qualified people then they are and facilitating sexual harassment trainings to those in the verge of bringing the company down with sexual exploitations of their admins.
by Grant Rampus July 04, 2016
The indescribable frustration felt waiting an eternity for the stop light to turn green at an intersection. Further exacerbated by thinking your light is changing and you start to go, only to be still red and the other lane starts turning. And you feel like an asshole sitting partially out in the intersection with a 40% chance of being T-boned.
by Grant Rampus August 09, 2016
When a corporate directive is given, resources allocated and countless hours spent on an initiative, only to be questioned later (by the executive who actually gave the directive) why this directive is being executed and demanding to know who gave the directive.
Executive: I demand to know why we spent $958,000 on studying the t-sprocket usefulness when clearly we’re getting out of the t-sprocket business.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
by Grant Rampus August 30, 2019
The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.
Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016