Best show on HBO that no one has ever watched. Main reason for streaming HBO to your Apple TV, although you still won't watch it.
"Hey Dave, I just started streaming The Wire on Apple TV. Have you watched it?"
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
by Grant Rampus July 04, 2016
Get the The Wire mug.The one day a year the father is actually honored by his family and given a 24 hour pass to relax and not dole out money to his ungrateful kids or spend his entire weekend with a list of chores from his wife.
“Honey, I need you to clean out the garage after you mow the lawn. Oh wait, it’s Father’s Day, isn’t it? You can do those chores next weekend along with other ones I’ll have added to your list.
by Grant Rampus June 20, 2021
Get the Father’s Day mug.The universal paint color a landlord sprays on the walls of an apartment between tenants. Apparently blind to any of the hundreds of colors available, a landlord will universally choose “landlord white” harboring under the delusion that is what most tenants would choose if they had a choice.
Landlord: “I gave the apartment a fresh coat of paint before you move in.”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”
by Grant Rampus November 28, 2020
Get the Landlord white mug.What most celebrities and professional athletes have to embark upon after disgracing their families, co-workers, etc. for very bad personal decisions. Standouts include sleeping with the nanny or crashing your car while on a cocktail of fentanyl and cocaine. Playbook calls for an immediate retreat to a treatment center where you emerge 30 days later with a bible in hand.
This year’s #1 NFL draft pick was missing from society for 30 days, until last Tuesday when he emerged from Our Lady of Miraculous Recovery Treatment Center, bible in hand. Beginning his apology tour, he stepped up to the podium he began to thank those that helped him and was truly sorry for those he hurt during his recent car crash (high on cocaine) with the half-dressed nanny in the passenger seat.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023
Get the Apology tour mug.The appropriate distance one must live from their in-laws so they can tolerate them. General rule of thumb is just far enough so they can't drop by unannounced.
When looking at new houses, Rick had to tactfully remind his new wife that the appropriate distance-in-law in that state was no less than 75 miles.
by Grant Rampus August 31, 2016
Get the Distance-in-law mug.When a corporate directive is given, resources allocated and countless hours spent on an initiative, only to be questioned later (by the executive who actually gave the directive) why this directive is being executed and demanding to know who gave the directive.
Executive: I demand to know why we spent $958,000 on studying the t-sprocket usefulness when clearly we’re getting out of the t-sprocket business.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
About to be fired employee: you did, sir. The executive was inflicted with corporate amnesia but fired the employee anyway.
by Grant Rampus August 30, 2019
Get the Corporate amnesia mug.The vows the divorcing couple make to each other with hopes of a cordial post-marriage relationship. Awash in disillusion, not unlike with marriage vows, the couple untying the knot make promises of paying child support regularly, not switching weekends without notice, embracing new spouses, etc.
The divorce vows Rick and Cindy made to each other lasted about 3 months, approximately the same time as marriage vows last before disintegrating into reality.
by Grant Rampus February 07, 2021
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