Gnostic1's definitions

beckon

v. calculate without using actual statistics, facts, or reasoning; act in a Glen Beck-esque manner.

Check out the way Sarah Palin is beckoning in her speeches. I beckon she'll be president soon!

I beckon most NFL fans are overweight cheese doodlers.

by gnostic1 May 10, 2011

corn brooming

v. keeping the path of one's friend or boss clear of obstacles. Originally used in ice curling to indicate the action of sweeping gravel, beer bottles and other debris off the action lane where the hammer rock is flung by the harrier.

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This is my birthday party so when we get to this club I am expecting to get a lot of corn brooming from you ladies.

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Hey. Could I get a little corn brooming here? This is only an important presentation.

by gnostic1 November 6, 2011

drafting

v. 1) reducing wind resistance by tucking in behind a moving object while riding a skateboard, bike, racecar, hospital stretcher etc.

2) a sexual act.

Dude! You should have been with me yesterday! I totally saw that Penelope chick drafting a bus.

Really? I'm actually kind of glad I missed that.

by gnostic1 August 21, 2011

kateriffic

adj. tremendous; crumpetly splendid; rippingly good in a wholesome British way. Usually said satirically.

I say. I possess box seats for the cricket match tonight. It would be ever so bosh if you could accompany me. The purveyed comestibles hold promise of fortnumish delight.

Sounds like kateriffic katering! I'll have my amenuensis wire your manservant if I'm free.

by gnostic1 May 23, 2011

duck hollow

place. Little appreciated Canadian city with the distinction of producing more top-flight dart flingers and less good hockey players than anywhere else in Alberta; also a good source of shale, lignite coal and third-base men.

Birthplace of warm fusion-an eclectic physics pursuit, and home to the only hindu ashram in the greater Eckville region, Duck Hollow is well situated to sell tires to people coming off the badly maintained Lacombe-Rimbey bypass as well as to siphon tourists away from the Devonian fossil beds and into the Rocky Mountain Rickettsial Diseases Museum recently built on the disused grounds of the sanitorium.

The high school Reach For The Top team was recently second runner-up in the Provincial tournament, taking advantage of some opportune dart-related questions in the final short snappers.
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What's a bullseye worth?

I don't know but I bet those cool kids in Duck Hollow know.

by gnostic1 July 13, 2011

social thinker

n. Person who doesn't think to excess; someone who isn't dim but who can't be bothered to cogitate in school.

The square root of 64? Are you kidding me? I am totally just a social thinker.

I studied hard all last semester and nearly lost all my friends. But, with the help of some total slackers, I managed to turn my life around and now I'm just a social thinker.

by gnostic1 September 10, 2011

misstranslation

n. The politically incorrect result of translating technical or mathematical terminology into something women can understand. A misstranslation is usually devoid of numbers and greek letters and may deal with how force vectors "feel" about each other. Use of the term around women is usually followed by a good purse-smacking.

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So why are pie squared? I don't get it.

Sorry, I didn't see your breasts. Let me give you the misstranslation. Pretend you have a large round blanket and four babies that need to be covered.

Ohhh. Babies! What are their names?

by gnostic1 August 31, 2012