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Global Feetus's definitions

cheek slapper

A hugh expulsion of flatulence that causes the mussels of the glutumus maximus to slap together. Often used as a independent demonstrative expression of awe or pride of accomplishment.
Wheew...that was a real cheek slapper! or
Wait for it...now THAT was a real cheek slapper!
by Global Feetus April 2, 2007
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schmear

1.NYC Deli slang for the act coating a bagel with a small amount of cream cheese.
2. A small amount of any condiment applied to a food item.
3. A medical test for women from New York.
1. "Hey Marty a poppy seed with a schmear ." (NOTE:To use schmear authentically the customer usually mumbles while he waits just loud enough for other customers to hear something like: "Oy is so hot in here , I should be so rich to pay this electric bill. How does he make a living? Such a waste.")
2. Klutz...I said a schmear of mustard...not the whole jar."
2. I am so verklempt my doctor wants me to get another pap schmear. I should live that long!"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Mousehole

Mousehole, mouseholes

1. Adult tourist( See tourista) that visit Disney World who exhibit childish or idiotic behavior. Mouseholes are easily identified by characteristic items of clothing ; oversized Micky Mouse ears, a "Cat in the Hat" hat or a "Its a Small World"fanny pack."
2. Surly Disney employees or managers.
1. "Geez ,that mousehole in the Taurus cut me off on the Beachline and I had to circle around to get back on."

2. "Damn, that mousehole grinned right at me and purposely gave me a screwed up soda..its all syrup."

3. "Nice hat, mousehole!
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Up Periscope!

1. The act of slowly floating upwards in a hot tub while erect or in the vernacular ,sporting a woody.

Origins: First to properly execute an up periscope one must first " blow ballast " by farting in the hot tub.

If undetected by the other occupants, preferably female, the "scope master" will raise his body until the head of his penis slowly breaks the surface. If he remains undetected he will slowly continue to push his penis farther out of the water until detected.

When detected he will yell "Down Scope" and rapidly pull his body downwards while acting as if nothing happened. If he remains undetected that means the female occupants of the hot tub are receptive or totally hammered, in either case, this often results in a "torpedo" attack after he yells UP SCOPE!

2.A mythical command often seen in WWII movies to raise the periscope. Up periscope is not used by modern submariners. The officer of the deck will inform the watch standers submarines control room the he is "Raising Number 1 ( or # 2 ) scope." at which time he will rotate the periscope ring that activates the raising / lowering mechanism.
1. Dave's penis was totaly out of the water when he yelled " Up Periscope!" "Euwwwwwww a dick!" screamed Denise.

2. "Up Periscope!" Ensign Jones commanded. The watch standers looked at each other in quizzical disbelief. Don't you mean "Raising Number 1 scope?" asked the Cheif of the Watch. " "Uh...right Cheif"...Ensign Jones demurred.
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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Titsville

Unintentional misspelling of Titusville Florida on mail addresses , order and address forms and in newspapers. See Tightassville. Considered "naughty."
1. Phone Order clerk:" I want to confirm that address again. You want that delivered to 104 Oak Street in Titsville ( teheheh) Florida 32783? Right? (teheheh)
Female Customer: " (sigh)No, No..that's Titusville....
Phone Order clerk: "Oh..It looked like Titsville!"
Female Customer: "Gee I've never heard that before. Listen pervert, congratulations you said "tits" to a customer. Now can we finish order...do you want my credit card number or my bra size?"
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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phantom pooper

A person spontaneously and anonymously who defecates in public areas. The areas are chosen for the greatest visual and olfactory effect upon the observer, for example:

1. Water fountains
2. Public Pools and the Beach
3. Dressing Rooms.
4. Ex girlfriends mailbox.

Also see Poop Phantom
1. " Mommy I want a drink of...WHAAAAAAAAAAA...the phantom pooper...WHAAAAAAAAA! "

2. "Great day for a swim...what's that floating by your face? OMG! " The Phantom Pooper had struck again.

3. " Don't these pants look great...whats that smell?"

4. " Phantom pooper? Listen lady I don't care why your bill is late...just pay it.
by Global Feetus April 10, 2007
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