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George McBob's definitions

niggerspray

Be careful, honey. Don't stay out too late, and don't forget your niggerspray.
by George McBob August 11, 2010
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zombicide

Zombicide is the art of... well, not killing, but destroying zombies.

Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.

In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.

Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.

Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.

But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
Zombicide is one of, if not the most important life skills one can learn.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
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blue light brigade

(S. Afr.) VIP protection motorcade.

Blue light brigades consist of between five and twenty black SUVs with tinted windows and flashing blue lights, depending on the overinflation of the ego of the obnoxious fatcat contained therein.

Blue light brigades have been known to force honest taxpaying motorists off the road or even shoot at them. They don't stop a traffic lights, drive in emergency lanes and break every possible traffic law.

In South Africa, the proper road etiquette when encountering one is to drive into their lane and block them for as long as possible without endangering your own vehicle, hoot repeatedly and wind down your window to give them the finger. You should also politely request all your passengers to give them the finger too.
I almost got rammed by a blue light brigade the other day. There were 20 vehicles in it, so it must have been Jacob Zuma or someone. I blocked him for 15 seconds and gave him the finger though.
by George McBob May 7, 2009
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kugel

A kugel is a special breed of rich middle-aged woman living in Johannesburg. Originally, the word kugel only applied to Jewish women (a kugel a Jewish potato-based dish), but now applies to any spoilt housewife.

Very distinctive characteristics of kugels are: A very nasal accent, calling everyone "doll", looking down on people who don't live in the Northern Suburbs, mistreating their housekeepers, spending half their lives talking on a cellphone, intense Botox treatment, wearing leopardskin patterned clothes and driving fancy 4x4s but refusing to take them offroad.

They tend to congregate at Sandton City, talk about shoes, nails and other kugels, cheat on their husbands and only tip 5%. A classic stereotypical kugel is Gwen Anderson from the South African comic strip Madam and Eve.
Kugel: Like, you know what I'm saying doll, she knows her husbands having an affair with....(25 minutes pass)... anyway, I have to like hang up doll, my nails are almost dry and I have to hurry up to get my hair done... ok doll, mwah bye.
by George McBob May 6, 2009
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flat dog

Look at all the flat dogs on the riverbank.

The Zambezi is infested with flatties.
by George McBob May 11, 2009
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trollplay

A form of online roleplay in which you troll your unfortunate chat partner.

The best trollplays are when you get your chat partner (usually a basement-dweller or pedophile) really worked up, and when he's just about to ejaculate into his dirty sweatpants, you drop the troll-bomb.
A chatlog from an Omegle trollplay:

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m/f
You: f
You: u?
You: f 17 NY city
You: how about you??
Stranger: 18 m nj
Stranger: u gotta facebook
You: cool
You: uh huh
You: cybersex?
Stranger: yea sure if u want
Stranger: can i add u
You: dyou wnna start?
You: if you make me cum:D
Stranger: ok ok u gotta web came babe
You: nope make sumthng up
You: a horny story
You: with me + u
Stranger: i had this dream about u once
You: i think i had that 2
Stranger: and we were in bed cuddling each other
Stranger: and i took off your clothese and stareted sucking on those big boobs of yours
Stranger: and then i started the lick your meat it was so tender and soft
Stranger: and i ate out your ass hole
You: umm good. I moan and start to rub my breast. You nibble on my nipples.
Stranger: and the i pulled down my pants and u gave me the best blowjob ever and my dick was so wet and ur pussy to so i stuck my dick in there and u stareted screaming
You: I screamed "MY TURN, BITCH" and ripped your dick out of my ass.
Stranger: What?
You: I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH, AND WHIP OUT MY HUGE PULSATING MEMBER AND RAM IT DEEP INTO YOUR RECTUM!
Stranger: What the fuck?!? freak!!
You: I SAVAGELY RAPE YOU LIKE THE THE DISGUSTING LITTLE FAGGOT YOU ARE! I FUCK YOU UNTIL YOUR ANUS BLEEDS!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
by George McBob January 14, 2011
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Hermione Moment

That awkward moment that occurs when a group of guys and a girl are talking and the topic of conversation turns to girls and their pros and cons, male health issues or other topics best kept among men. Someone then realises that there is, in fact, a female present. An embarrased silence then follows. This is a Hermione Moment.

It is named after the many scenes in the Harry Potter series when Harry and Ron forget that their friend Hermione is actually a girl.
Steve: Man, Jessica has a nice pair of...
<Dave elbows Steve hard in the ribs>
Steve: er.. Hi Teresa! Um, what do you think of Jessica's... er...
Dave: Dude, Hermione Moment!
by George McBob April 21, 2009
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