Definitions by Geoff Lilley
mallatorium
A moratorium on going to the mall, including big box stores, during the holiday season. Usually commences Black Friday and continues past Valentine's day. Done by guys who hate shopping and crowds, mostly.
"I need to go get my girlfriend a Christmas present, but I'd rather order it online. I've imposed a mallatorium between now and February."
mallatorium by Geoff Lilley November 27, 2012
blasphunny
A portmanteau of the word "blasphemy" and "funny." Something that is outrageously religiously offensive, yet undeniably hilarious.
The day after the Broncos lost, my buddy Dan put up a picture of Jesus rolling away the stone, with the caption, "That was a good nap...wait, was the Broncos game tonight?"
Next to a picture of Jesus on the cross, three dudes doing the "M", "C", and "A" in "YMCA" - blasphunny.
Next to a picture of Jesus on the cross, three dudes doing the "M", "C", and "A" in "YMCA" - blasphunny.
blasphunny by Geoff Lilley January 23, 2012
NRA-NPR Ratio
Usually used to characterize a city or region in terms of its propensity for conservative, traditional, and Christian values, versus its tendency toward progressive, New Age, and secular thinking. Can also be applied to an individual person.
For example, San Francisco has about a 10-90 NRA-NPR ratio, whereas some of the more rural Southeastern states would be the reverse. A diverse hybrid city like New York is probably 50-50.
For example, San Francisco has about a 10-90 NRA-NPR ratio, whereas some of the more rural Southeastern states would be the reverse. A diverse hybrid city like New York is probably 50-50.
NRA-NPR Ratio by Geoff Lilley October 22, 2011
salt vampire
The opposite of a sweet tooth. The salt vampire is one who craves salt the way people with a sweet tooth crave chocolate and jellybeans - instead, they gorge on potato chips, mixed nuts, and ChexMix. Taken from the site www.junkfoodbetty.com.
The first impression I got from these chips was holy balls these chips are salty. That’s a bold statement coming from a salt vampire like myself. I would go so far as to call them excessively salty.
salt vampire by Geoff Lilley May 18, 2011
simbiguous
The one-word summary of the Facebook relationship status, "it's complicated." A person who is in an ambiguous state of single; not quite in a relationship, not quite single, and generally looking for better offers.
Chris: "Is your friend available?"
Jim: "Kinda, man, she's simbiguous. Hit her up, see what she says."
Jim: "Kinda, man, she's simbiguous. Hit her up, see what she says."
simbiguous by Geoff Lilley March 30, 2011
spousal install
When you're installing software, and you say "yes" to all the questions, accept all the defaults, and don't think about it.
Mike: "Dude, what do all these options mean when I'm installing Word?"
Evan: "Just do a spousal install and don't worry about it, man."
Evan: "Just do a spousal install and don't worry about it, man."
spousal install by Geoff Lilley March 17, 2011
jersey justice
A term coined by former Baltimore Ravens defensive tackle Tony Siragusa to describe beating the living shit out of someone in retribution for any offense, real or perceived. Generally, the retribution is greater than the crime.
SIRAGUSA: Yeah, I had a guy in Philadelphia throw a snowball. He was a little shocked when I climbed into the stands. And gave a little Jersey justice, you know what I mean.
jersey justice by Geoff Lilley January 10, 2011