Frank Klaune's definitions

Harry Palmer

The protagonist of K.J. Rowling's book. This ignorant teenage zitfaced twit received international acclaim for his masturbatory tendencies.

Man, did you read Rowling's latest Harry Palmer book?

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

squirt the dirt

The act of relieving one's self (urinating) outside. Typically the term is used by truck drivers and travelers who have driven many miles (without a truck stop or rest area) and- needing to piss, they pull over to a side road to "squirt the dirt".

Damn, Frank bought that big-ass 200 ounce bladder buster at the truck stop and the next thing you know, we have to pull over to squirt the dirt.

by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005

shatman

The highly-underrated, sadly misunderstood, less-well-known stand-in for the popular super-hero, Batman. Shatman, dressed in a toilet tissue cape was conspicuous by the plunger hanging from his utility belt, and led his civilian life as an innocuous, janitor with tourettes syndrome, horn rimmed glasses and voyeuristic tendencies named "Floyd Furpkin". The writers for the comic series used weak plots and suggestive themes and the general public was not amused with such episodes as "exploding toilet mayhem" and "exlax world submission" and thus the series was cancelled in it's first season, relegating Shatman sadly to a lifetime of widely acclaimed obscurity.

SHATMANNNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN!

by Frank Klaune November 30, 2003

dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.

Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

spray paint

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.

"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

ahs-wee-pay

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.

"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

sack of shit

Beneath contempt. Worthless. The term is usually used to describe a contemptably dishonest person.

You told me you were going to take care of that but you obviously didn't, you lying sack of shit!

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005