Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.
Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.
by FitofPeak2 September 04, 2023
Get the Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR")mug. A person who is constantly or frequently in a state of panic due to their chronic procrastination, distraction, or anxiety.
I can't deal with having Dave on our trial team, everything from witness prep to coffee orders is an effing crisis -- the guy's a total panician.
by FitofPeak2 February 23, 2025
Get the Panicianmug. A problem, especially one encountered in large organizations, that is smaller in scale than can easily be fixed with the large-scale tools on hand, leading to great life-is-too-short frustration with one's inability to immediately solve it. For example: you need $7 more than you thought to pay for the lunch just delivered for your office meeting, which can be paid for only in cash, but to obtain petty cash you must fill out three different forms and get two managerial approvals. Or, you need to swat a fly, but all you have is a sledgehammer.
Mark: Unbelievable, I just want to put this birthday card in the outgoing office mail, but I asked Ted if it was OK, and he says I have to fill out an MC-1453 "Request for Personal-Use Policy Exception" form and get two signatures. I thought that was only for, like, taking a company car or using a conference room for some nonbusiness reason.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
by FitofPeak2 August 30, 2023
Get the small problem problemmug. A pejorative term for trial by a jury, especially in civil cases. It flows from the notion that jurors are so unpredictable and so subject to changes in their thinking during trial and deliberations -- based on emotions, personal experience, misunderstanding the evidence, lack of attention to the instructions they are given, or occasionally dozing off or daydreaming -- that there is no rational way of predicting which side they will ultimately favor.
Oliver: So I heard you decided to waive the jury and try that copyright case to the judge.
Felix: Yeah, that case has so many documents and celebrities and whatnot it would be like OJ Simpson suing Donald Trump for securities fraud – who needs to play peer pong with something like that? I think the judge will get it.
Oliver: Word. Gotta give the Brits credit, over there you get a jury only in a libel case.
Felix: Yeah, that case has so many documents and celebrities and whatnot it would be like OJ Simpson suing Donald Trump for securities fraud – who needs to play peer pong with something like that? I think the judge will get it.
Oliver: Word. Gotta give the Brits credit, over there you get a jury only in a libel case.
by FitofPeak2 July 03, 2025
Get the Peer pongmug. To persevere relentlessly and never quit. From Winston Churchill's famous speech at Harrow School in the darkest days of World War II, in which he said: "Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in."
Hon, I know you've missed qualifying for the Boston Marathon four times, but you're only four minutes away. Time to do a Churchill, sign up for Los Angeles next winter, and get your ten miles in today.
by FitofPeak2 February 26, 2022
Get the Do a Churchillmug. A tongue-in-cheek name for rust removal duty (ferrous oxide being the precursor to rust on steel objects), especially on Navy ships, playing on the vivid contrast between the tedious and highly unpleasant nature of the duty, involving the use of wire brushes and toxic chemicals often under a blazing sun, compared to the delightful, carefree leisure tableau depicted by the three teen protagonists of the 1986 Matthew Broderick film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
Chief Petty Officer: It's your lucky day, sailor -- two weeks of Ferrous Oxide's Day Off starting at eight bells.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
by FitofPeak2 September 28, 2023
Get the Ferrous Oxide's Day Offmug. A generic term for a rock & roll tribute band that uses a semi-clever name to evoke the famous artist or band it covers, as, for example, the term itself evokes Led Zeppelin (covers, tarpaulin, get it?) See, e.g., By Jovi, Petty Cash, Proxy Music.
Saturday night we went to The Cave and saw that Led Tarpaulin outfit "Springsboomer" -- man, those guys can really play Bruce's stuff from the 70s and 80s!
by FitofPeak2 December 10, 2024
Get the Led Tarpaulinmug.