Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.
Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.
by FitofPeak2 September 04, 2023
Medical vernacular for a colonoscopy (colon) and an upper endoscopy (stomach) performed in one visit to the doctor -- aka the "spit roast."
My gastroenterologist thought it would be a good idea to check both my stomach and my colon, so I had to go in for an In 'N' Out Drive-Thru last week. Came back clean. Are you overdue for yours?
by FitofPeak2 January 22, 2022
A tongue-in-cheek name for rust removal duty (ferrous oxide being the precursor to rust on steel objects), especially on Navy ships, playing on the vivid contrast between the tedious and highly unpleasant nature of the duty, involving the use of wire brushes and toxic chemicals often under a blazing sun, compared to the delightful, carefree leisure tableau depicted by the three teen protagonists of the 1986 Matthew Broderick film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
Chief Petty Officer: It's your lucky day, sailor -- two weeks of Ferrous Oxide's Day Off starting at eight bells.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
Sailor: Aye-aye, Chief.
Chief Petty Officer: And don't ask my daughter out again.
by FitofPeak2 September 28, 2023
Humorless; dour; unsmiling.
Man, Bill's roommate is severely amusocompromised -- we must have watched six "Seinfelds" last night and the guy didn't crack a smile the whole time.
by FitofPeak2 December 07, 2021
I was sure I had a spare Viagra in my pocket, but I turned it inside out and there was just a bunch of gnurr.
by FitofPeak2 December 05, 2024
A problem, especially one encountered in large organizations, that is smaller in scale than can easily be fixed with the large-scale tools on hand, leading to great life-is-too-short frustration with one's inability to immediately solve it. For example: you need $7 more than you thought to pay for the lunch just delivered for your office meeting, which can be paid for only in cash, but to obtain petty cash you must fill out three different forms and get two managerial approvals. Or, you need to swat a fly, but all you have is a sledgehammer.
Mark: Unbelievable, I just want to put this birthday card in the outgoing office mail, but I asked Ted if it was OK, and he says I have to fill out an MC-1453 "Request for Personal-Use Policy Exception" form and get two signatures. I thought that was only for, like, taking a company car or using a conference room for some nonbusiness reason.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.
by FitofPeak2 August 30, 2023
An omakase (Japanese for “I'll leave it up to you”) or other tasting menu where the food served is chosen by the chef rather than by the diner. The term is a word play on the mathematical concept of the “random walk,” a mathematical concept used in science, economics and elsewhere, and the use of woks in restaurant kitchens (which is not limited to Chinese restaurants).
We tried the random wok menu at Miyamoto's the other night and it was awesome -- we loved every single dish the chef sent out.
by FitofPeak2 November 29, 2024