FitofPeak2's definitions

Peer pong

A pejorative term for trial by a jury, especially in civil cases. It flows from the notion that jurors are so unpredictable and so subject to changes in their thinking during trial and deliberations -- based on emotions, personal experience, misunderstanding the evidence, lack of attention to the instructions they are given, or occasionally dozing off or daydreaming -- that there is no rational way of predicting which side they will ultimately favor.

Oliver: So I heard you decided to waive the jury and try that copyright case to the judge.

Felix: Yeah, that case has so many documents and celebrities and whatnot it would be like OJ Simpson suing Donald Trump for securities fraud – who needs to play peer pong with something like that? I think the judge will get it.

Oliver: Word. Gotta give the Brits credit, over there you get a jury only in a libel case.

by FitofPeak2 July 3, 2025

Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR")

Also known as the Aargh Quotient, the Tool-Problem Ratio (“TPR”) is a DIY term expressing the relationship between a physical problem to be fixed and the tool available for the task. A 1:1 ratio reflects that the tool is perfect for the job -- e.g., when a nail clipper is available to trim a toenail, the TPR is 1:1. Ratios of greater than 1:1 indicate that the tool available is excessive relative to the job: a chainsaw generates a ratio of, say, 200:1 for toenail trimming. Ratios of less than 1:1 indicate that the tool at hand is inadequate for the task: a toenail clipper produces a ratio of, say, 1:1000 for cutting down a Christmas tree. Depending on the TPR, responsive behaviors may range from mild (swearing, sighing disgustedly), to driving to the hardware store, to breaking the workpiece or the tool violently.

Faced with a Tool-Problem Ratio ("TPR") of about 1:10 when his flat-blade screwdriver was too big to loosen the Phillips-head screw on his range vent, Bob intoned “Jesus H. Christ” under his breath and motored off to Home Depot.

by FitofPeak2 September 4, 2023

small problem problem

A problem, especially one encountered in large organizations, that is smaller in scale than can easily be fixed with the large-scale tools on hand, leading to great life-is-too-short frustration with one's inability to immediately solve it. For example: you need $7 more than you thought to pay for the lunch just delivered for your office meeting, which can be paid for only in cash, but to obtain petty cash you must fill out three different forms and get two managerial approvals. Or, you need to swat a fly, but all you have is a sledgehammer.

Mark: Unbelievable, I just want to put this birthday card in the outgoing office mail, but I asked Ted if it was OK, and he says I have to fill out an MC-1453 "Request for Personal-Use Policy Exception" form and get two signatures. I thought that was only for, like, taking a company car or using a conference room for some nonbusiness reason.

JoAnn: Small problem problem, dude. I'd just slip it in there and move on, life's too short.

by FitofPeak2 August 30, 2023

Bike/Horse Rule

A principle invoked when urging someone to persevere despite initial failure, which fully stated is: "You don't need me to remind you, when things don't go well the first time, try again." So named because it is drawn from two familiar premises: (a) persevering is like riding a bike, you never forget how, and (b) when you fall off a horse, you get right back on and give it another go.

My nephew just failed the bar a second time and was ready to hang it up, but I reminded him of the Bike/Horse Rule and told him to sign up for the thing again, he'll get it.

by FitofPeak2 February 17, 2022

random wok

An omakase (Japanese for “I'll leave it up to you”) or other tasting menu where the food served is chosen by the chef rather than by the diner. The term is a word play on the mathematical concept of the “random walk,” a mathematical concept used in science, economics and elsewhere, and the use of woks in restaurant kitchens (which is not limited to Chinese restaurants).

We tried the random wok menu at Miyamoto's the other night and it was awesome -- we loved every single dish the chef sent out.

by FitofPeak2 November 29, 2024

floobydust

Miscellany; flotsam and jetsam. Reportedly, the term originated at National Semiconductor Corporation in the 1970s (about the time that Silicon Valley was first called that).

I thought the key to the shed was in the top kitchen drawer, but there was just the usual floobydust.

by FitofPeak2 December 5, 2024

gnurr

Lint, gum wrappers and other detritus found in the bottom of one's pockets.

I was sure I had a spare Viagra in my pocket, but I turned it inside out and there was just a bunch of gnurr.

by FitofPeak2 December 5, 2024