Fasters's definitions

Covid-💩

When the number of toilet visits by millions of people on quarantine or lockdown surged exponentially, as many consumed more than what they needed, thus generating tonnes of extra shit.

Guesstimate how many tonnes of poo were produced during the April–June lockdowns due to Covid-💩 in most developed countries.

by Fasters October 25, 2020

Covid-🦑

When traces of the coronavirus has been found on the packaging of imported squid, which prompted the authorities to alert anyone who has bought it to get themselves tested.

Although there is no evidence of the virus being spread by food or packaging, however, authorities in China are taking no chances with Covid-🦑 when they encourage everyone who has bought or eaten imported squid to go for a Covid test.

by Fasters September 21, 2020

Covid-🎲

When bookmakers worldwide are ever changing the odds that President Trump would be re-elected, based on the good and bad news about him and his morally bankrupt administration, which make the headlines every day.

Thanks to Covid-🎲, with billions of bucks changing hands, tens of millionaires (and thousands of zeronaires) are expected to emerge come November 3.

by Fasters September 18, 2020

Covidagon

What a layperson would call a 19-sided polygon or 19-gon rather than an enneadecagon or enneakaidecagon.

A corona math question for geeks: “Show that the interior angle in a regular covidagon is 161¹/₁₉°.”

by Fasters September 17, 2020

Coffining

Punishing someone who refuses to wear a mask by making them lie in an open coffin, or forcing them to dig graves for Covid-19 victims, if they refuse to pay a fine or to do community service, such as cleaning public toilets and acting as a scarecrow under the hot sun for hours.

Some couples, who aren’t scared of coffining, are deliberately not wearing a face mask, so that they’d have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get intimate inside a fake coffin.

by Fasters September 15, 2020

🦠₁₉🇸🇬

Short for “Covid-19 in Singapore.” The “fine” city that has the world’s least ratio of the number of deaths to the number of infections—as of August 23, 2020, there are only 27 deaths from 56,353 infected cases.

If the US and the UK had real political leaders in charge of the pandemic crisis, their 😷 and 💀 statistics could be like those of 🦠₁₉🇸🇬, where a high infection rate needn’t yield a high mortality rate—when deaths aren’t treated as mere digits or statistics.

by Fasters August 23, 2020

Covid-19

A virus that has proved to be more effective than the brutal measures adopted by most dictatorial or rogue leaders in stopping pro-democracy and anti-government protests, slowing down terrorist attacks, reducing air and noise pollution, and exposing inept heads of state in handling a crisis.

Thanks to Covid-19, some previously thought extinct animals, birds, and fish have reappeared, bringing much joy and smile to so many people worldwide.

by Fasters June 24, 2020