Fasters's definitions

The Pi Diet

A meal that uses no more than three ingredients plus condiments of the same color apparently for pleasing or tasteful appearance.

On Pi Day, Chef Poppy is promoting a special meal he christens “The Pi Diet.”

by Fasters March 4, 2023

🐓 π

Short for “Chicken Pi.” A mathematical rebus that sounds like “chicken pie.”

At a KFC outlet in the “fine” city of Singapore, passers-by could spot the silhouette of a chicken and a π-like symbol meters apart. What are the chances that someone would interpret these two figures as 🐓 π?

by Fasters May 23, 2023

1 = 2

The equation of choice among math paradoxers and recreational mathematicians, who unspokenly derive much satisfaction in exposing students’ fallacious or illogical reasoning that leads to the contradictory result.

Be it due to division by zero or squaring (or square rooting) both sides of an equation, few students wouldn’t want to know why “1 = 2” is logically plausible.

by Fasters May 3, 2022

Irrational Parenting

When parents support their children to spend an obscene number of hours memorizing the digits of irrational numbers like √2, π, and e, so that they can out-parrot others in a contest, and win some medals or prizes for their “irrational” feats of memory.

Based on recent newspaper reports, irrational parenting seems to be rising in Singapore, especially among immigrants from India and Burma—the perceived paranoia to make an entry into the Singapore Book of Records has never been so strong among the “human parrots.”

by Fasters November 22, 2022

X

Pronounced as “ex.” The debatably new “terrible” or “terrifying” name for the formerly known Twitter app, which reminds billions of kids and their parents worldwide of their dreaded years-long school algebra.

Are the days of X numbered, especially when two key rivals are exploring whether or not they’d also be renaming some of their subsidiaries Y and Z to strategically create confusion and chaos on social media?

by Fasters July 25, 2023

Feminist Pi

When geeky feminists who endorse the idea that Pi is a female figure argue that the beloved constant π has been taken hostage by chauvinistic male mathematicians and math educators, who are only attracted by her sexy numerical and geometrical properties, while treating other mathematical constants worthy of consideration as second-class citizens.

Feminist pi believers have been waging a theomatical war with literalist evangelicals (who view God as male and insist that the true value of π is the biblical value of 3).

by Fasters November 20, 2022

Lockdown

A flowery term for “home jail”—when people are only allowed to go out to buy food or to obtain “essential services,” such as buying guns, getting tattooed, and dog grooming, in the fastest possible time, while interacting with the least number of people to avoid infecting them with the virus.

A lockdown comes in different shapes and sizes, which is based on the country’s infection rate and death toll (and whether its head of state, governor, or mayor is running for a reelection before year end).

by Fasters April 29, 2020