Elburno's definitions

Monkey in a person suit

A person of sub par intelligence, to the extent that you have to assume they are merely a non-hominoid simian who has somehow aquired a human shaped, halloween costume.

Paris Hilton is a monkey in a person suit. Hell you can see the zip.

by Elburno October 3, 2011

beat my cock like a ginger stepchild

Expression used to describe vigourous acts of masturbation with no regard for possible reprecussions such as friction burns or wanker's cramp.

Shlonglinator: I've got an awful horn. Think I'm going to head home and beat my cock like a ginger stepchild

Lads: You mean meeting gemma......

by Elburno September 20, 2009

press

it's like a cupboard only it's a press.

the plates go in the press.

by Elburno October 22, 2008

shlonginator

legend of a man. we're talking like totally here...

the shlonginator: basically, he came bearing middleton

john: nuff said!
rory;circle jerk?
enda: awesome!
shane: did anyone remember to bring soap?

*on an unrelated matter...
peter fap fap fap

by elburno March 9, 2008

wanking like peter on the dole

Masturbating 11 times a day while sponging off society.

We all started wanking like peter on the dole when we saw the bottle of midleton.

it was like john just grew a badonkadonk.

by elburno March 8, 2008

the guinness skid mark on the underpants of society

Expression used to describe someone who is completely useless and black.

Jermaine Defoe is "the guinness skid mark on the underpants of society"

by Elburno March 2, 2008

watching the wire

1) the act of viewing the suberb hbo show the wire

2) a euphemism for self pleasure without wanting to say the words "masturbating like peter on the dole".

Lorcan: well i'm going on a big session of watching the wire so let me know if it needs to be disturbed
*fap fap fap*

by Elburno March 2, 2008