West Virginia flap jack

Slapping the foreskin of your flaccid penis against your boyfriend's lips.

The West Virginia flap jack Brian got was just an appetizer for the gay feast that followed.

by El Conquistador July 15, 2017

Turkish pianist

A person who enjoys fingering butt holes.

That Turkish pianist can play a poop chute like a fine instrument.

by El Conquistador June 30, 2017

tonsil butter

A large load of jizm delivered to the back of ones throat, covering the uvula and tonsils in warm, thick, well churned sperm milk. Not to be confused with the low fat version, I Can’t Believe it’s not Tonsil Butter.

Stuck at work late at night, Cody and Ryan needed a quick snack. All they had in the fridge, of course, was some cheap canned biscuits and eleven jars of grape jelly. Cody started to cry as his hunger pains told him that would not be enough to satisfy him. Ryan wanted to help his friend, so he offered to whip up a fresh batch of tonsil butter for Cody. He gladly accepted Ryan’s generous offering of tonsil butter with enthusiasm. Cody was so moved he was speechless. With a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat, he gave Ryan a big bear hug. Of course Ryan, always the giver, didn’t know who was more satisfied; Cody for the receiving or himself the giving.

by El Conquistador February 20, 2020

dick smucker

An elderly woman with no teeth giving a blow job. Possibly the closest to heaven any living man is likely to get.

I was skeptical at first, but that dick smucker gave me the best head of my life.

by El conquistador January 17, 2014

Angry Pterodactyl

Performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, at the same time, flapping your arms like an Angry Pterodactyl taking off from a rocky ledge.

Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two

Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block

by El Conquistador May 04, 2021

Hawaiian milkshake

The product of drinking large amounts of pineapple juice to make ones ejaculate taste sweeter.

Hawaiian milkshakes are a low fat treat that my GF can enjoy anytime.

by El Conquistador March 18, 2017

stroke ninja

A super stealthy sex servant that can spank a swollen stiffy for a sticky semen surprise, whack a whiskered Willy wonderfully with one hand, just jerk a johnson so gingerly, five finger a fat fuck stick forever, bare hand a beefy BBC and beat a bulky boner black and blue.

Japanese folklore, written on the walls of the finest oriental massage parlors, tells of the legendary stroke ninja. Although known far and wide as the stroke ninja, the locals simply called her キャンディス. With cat like reflexes, nimble fingers and a grip like the deadly venus fly trap, many a man has succumb to her relentless grasp. The few that survived gather, on occasion, to reminisce about the best rub-n-tug of a lifetime.

by El Conquistador July 06, 2021