The amazing ability of Pork Scotch's to bore you to bloody death just by saying "hello" to you. If he ever sees that you are in his boring presence you must escape it immediately because if the boring, gay twat so much as looks you in the eye, you will drop to the floor and fall into a deep sleep. He has entered many talent shows and the reason he didn't win was because he knocked out all the judges when he got on the stage and said "Hello there I'm Max" while wearing his shades that make him look important. He thinks he knocks all the ladies out because he's 'drop dead gorgeous'.
Pork Scotch: Hello Alex.
Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!
Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...
Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.
Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!
Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...
Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 28, 2009
A retarded epileptic goose that has the most spasticated fits while playing guitar in front of an audience. The fits occur mostly when he is playing his clever very own composed solo, 10 12. He dances around in the spotlight as if he's the leader of the band he's in. What a spacker!
Why is that boy spinning on the floor?
Thats Goosetard, he has to do that while he's playing his genius solo, 10 12.
Thats Goosetard, he has to do that while he's playing his genius solo, 10 12.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 28, 2009
A cone wrongly stolen by Pork Scotch that he once used to keep a space for his small white van outside his house while he went out in it because he thinks he is important because he's a security guard (EVEN more important than Shit Stained Schumachers you know). Because he had no right to do it, I moved it so that a car would park there. When he got back the look of shock on the ugly bastards face was phenomenal when he saw that a car had parked there. With a usual grumpy look on his face, he moved it onto the front of the house. He works from 6pm to 6am so at 10 we put it in a bin bag and took it onto another road an left it on the back of a Maltby lorry. In the morning, he was looking all over the place for his beloved cone with a mad look of disbelief. Looks like he'll never see his cone again. Poor Porky!
SWYTHEERBRIDGE: Whats that orange thing on the back of the Maltby lorry?
MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.
MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 04, 2009
A gay dance that only Pork Scotch will do when drunk at his garlic bread barbeque. It involves bending over and sharply moving his arms back and forward with a delay between each one.
MONKUS: What the hell is Pork Scotch doing?
MICKUS: It's a gay dance he does whenever he gets drunk with his wrinkly 'girlfriend' at one of his daily barbeques.
MONKUS: I see. Pork Scotch dance. Pretty stupid!
MICKUS: It's a gay dance he does whenever he gets drunk with his wrinkly 'girlfriend' at one of his daily barbeques.
MONKUS: I see. Pork Scotch dance. Pretty stupid!
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009
The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 31, 2009
Dad: Lets make some Neil cakes, monk.
Flobbers: Ok. That guy's a bloody giant. It's a wonder he doesn't smash his head through the roof.
Dad: You've got that right, he's 5 feet 10 inches you know.
Flobbers: Whoooaaa!
Flobbers: Ok. That guy's a bloody giant. It's a wonder he doesn't smash his head through the roof.
Dad: You've got that right, he's 5 feet 10 inches you know.
Flobbers: Whoooaaa!
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 28, 2009
The Scale that shows how scotchy someone is. At the top of the scale is the Scotchy Mother, then Pork Scotch. The Meter shows that no one in the Scotchy World is as Scotchy as The Scotchy Mother. She is even more scotchy than THE Pork Scotch.
Scotchy Mother: I'm the Scotchiest person in the world. The Scotchy Meter says so. I'm even Scotchier than my son, he'll never beat me.
Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.
Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 29, 2009