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Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Dry Buffing 

Dry Buffing is a method of male masturbation that employs the use of a Dremel tool with a soft buffing attachment, polishing pad or brush. The goal of Dry Buffing is to stimulate the the male member with the Dremel tool and spinning the buffing pad for stimulation until the individual reaches an orgasmic state. The individual finishes off by ejaculating and letting the semen run down the shaft leaving the cock in a shiny, glossy state.
Steven purchased a new Dremel tool set at the local Home Depot. Although he purchased the set to peform some minor home repairs, he found himself in the garage using his new found hardware to do a little Dry Buffing. Steven got himself off several times before proceeding with the actual repairs inside the house.

Drop Cloth 

A sheet, towel, washcloth, shirt, napkin or other material laid upon the bed, counter, couch, chair, table or floor for the specific purpose of catching the load, jizz, cum from the ejaculation of a masturbating male. Drop cloths allow for quick, easy clean up.

Coined from the painting and coating trade whereby a drop cloth is used to catch drips, drops and over spray of liquid paint and coatings.
Stan surfed internet porn all morning during his conference call and found himself with an engorged chub. To get relief, he closed his office door and jerked off onto the drop cloth he laid on his desk. All pleasure and no mess.
Drop Cloth by Eaton Holgoode May 13, 2014

Grandma's Tea Towel 

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag. The primary difference is that Grandma's Tea Towel is used exclusively by promiscuous females over the age of 60 to clean up semen and vaginal juices from sexual activity. Grandma's Tea Towels are most commonly found underneath Craftmatic Adjustable Beds and under Electric Function and Electric Assist beds found in Assisted Living Facilities throughout the country.
Nurse Sandy: Mary, will you please call Housekeeping and have them do a laundry sweep down the West wing?
Nurse Mary: Sure thing. Anything they need to know?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Please ask them to check under all the beds for Grandma's Tea Towel.
Nurse Mary: Are the female residents getting restless again?
Nurse Sandy: Yes. Apparently Dr. Smith is getting a paid vacation from the drug company representative again. The patient scripts for Viagra have tripled in the last week.

Sewer Capped 

To be so severely constipated that the clogged feces is literally capping the sphincter preventing release.
Carl: please help me Doctor. I'm so constipated.

Doctor. You need more fiber, Carl. Otherwise you will continue to get Sewer Capped like this.

Carl: Sewer Capped? Is that a medical term?
Doctor: Yes. I read it on Urban Dictionary.

Cinnamon Snap 

The baby or child born from a couple that is made up of a Mexican and a Ginger.
Gary: Hey Steve. Have your seen Jorge's and Sonja's baby yet?
Steve: Yes. He's quite the Cinnamon Snap!

Perfumed Rose 

The musky and mungy pungent scent of a sweaty, dirty rosebud aka anus.
Sonja enjoyed foreplay with her boyfriend Kevin. She often performed fellatio followed by analingus. She especially enjoyed giving Kevin a tossed salad this past weekend because Kevin had been doing yard work all afternoon in the hot sun and the sweat dripping down his ass crack all day had left him with a well Perfumed Rose.

Drain Plugged 

To be so severely constipated and in desperate need of a bowel movement that multiple forms of treatments are used and repeated over and over to create the needed stool looseness to have an eventual release aka ass blast, assplosion.
Frank decided to join in and climb aboard the gluten free diet train. After several days, Frank realized the new diet, while gluten free, was largely starch based and low in protein and dietary fiber and he was desperately Drain Plugged. After seven consecutive enemas, he finally popped the squirt cork.