Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Abdominal Blowman

A male that is a chronic wanker that unloads his jizz on himself every time he jacks off but he cannot shoot his load any further than the reaches of his own abdomen area. This is due to an aging prostate gland causing them to become a short shooter over time.

Carl has been a chronic wanker since his teen years. Back in the day, he could blow his load past his ears and would often gak all over his face. Now, while still the same wanker he always was, he is just an Abdominal Blowman. He can barely shoot his load to his past his own pubes and is often just a dribble.

by Eaton Holgoode May 1, 2015

Nub Oil

Any form of lubricant used for masturbation.

The nub oil is in the nightstand. Hand it to me please. I need to rub one out.

I’m out of nub oil. I’ll have have to flick my bean dry tonight.

by Eaton Holgoode May 3, 2018

Fresh Bobber

To obtain a full on erection or a semi induced from a an otherwise non-sexual back rub from your grandma, aunt or cousin. Usually occurs at holiday family gatherings and results in sporting a pup tent and having wait to return to a flaccid state before moving around.

Steven was getting a back rub from his cousin Sarah when they were summoned to the table for dinner. Sarah left immediately but Steven sat around for a few minutes because he needed to rid himself of the Fresh Bobber.

by Eaton Holgoode February 24, 2015

Butt Batter

Simply put, explosive, liquid shits. Often induced from too much alcohol and poor dietary choices.

Never again will I consume that much tequila. I've got some firey butt batter today. It's so explosive I'll need to perform a peripheral wipe when I'm done.

by Eaton Holgoode November 23, 2016

Gentleman's Breakfast

To wake in the morning and without any notice bury your face and munch the snatch of your wife, girlfriend or date and her snapper is still puffy and wet from the sex romp last night.

Darrell woke at 6:00 in the morning to get ready for work. However, his girlfriend's hot pocket was giving him a morning wink so he dove in and enjoyed a gentleman's breakfast.

by Eaton Holgoode March 3, 2014

Spicy Moose Jelly

The same condition that occurs to create Moose Jelly but the liquid left behind after the fart or shart that covers the outer linings of the butt/asshole is from a spicy meal or meals such as Thai food, Mexican food, habanero salsa, etc. Spicy Moose Jelly is noted by a lingering burn and sting of the anus from just even just the smallest amount of jelly.

Darlene started her day off with a delicious jalapeno omelet. At lunch, she joined several co-workers at an office Super Bowl party where she enjoyed several bowls of five alarm chili. For dinner, her husband treated her to dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant where she enjoyed the extra spicy Thai noodles. Her day of savory and spicy dining caught up with her the next day, however. During a morning meeting, Darlene attempted to pass gas due to her bloated feeling and ended up with Spicy Moose Jelly. She sat and squirmed in her seat until the meeting was over so she could do a quick wipe job and relieve the sting.

by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014

Muffery

Craving for some pussy. Usually a constant craving whereby one simply cannot get enough.

I’m walking muffery today braaaahhhh.

Internet porn helps but doesn’t satisfy my muffery.

Ashley gots the muffery.

by Eaton Holgoode April 23, 2018