Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Hooker's Polish

The slobbery, wet, shiny finish left on one's man meat after receiving a blow job from a prostitute. Most common in cases of a hot gummy. Toothless meth whores are best known for a good polishing that leaves a heavy, shiny sheen.

Roger picked up a local meth whore prostitute on the way home from work. After receiving a hearty $10 blow job, he sat in his car satisfied and admired the Hooker's Polish.

Hooker's Polish by Eaton Holgoode February 6, 2015

Dry Bag

A male that has gone an extended period of time (at least two weeks) without having the pleasure of release from an orgasm from sex with a willing partner.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, Gary went almost a month having no luck at getting laid. He finally cured his case of Dry Bag with a good old fashioned wank into his gak towel.

Dry Bag by Eaton Holgoode February 5, 2015

Date Gape

Is a continued feeling of orifice openness that occurs after having a date with a partner involving willing and consensual anal or vaginal sex. Date Gape is the desirable feeling that one's arse or vagina is still open, throbbing and gaping after having ass wrecking and vajayjay pounding sex leaving one wide open and filled with pleasure. Date Gape can last up to 24-48 hours post coital activity.

After a wonderful evening out with her blind date, Tonya invited Blair back to her apartment. After some friendly foreplay, they went to the bedroom and engaged in several hours of anal and vaginal sex. Blair later went home and left Tonya in a euphoric state with Date Gape.

Date Gape by Eaton Holgoode January 30, 2015

Bar Gripper 

A dump, defecation, shit or state of constipation that is so painful and so difficult to work out that one must grab the handicap bars within the stall in order to brace and provide leverage for the almost birth like pushing that is required to eventually reach the point of release.

Myron suffered from the worst case of constipation that he had ever encountered. This, combined with his severe external hemorrhoids created the perfect turd birthing storm and he went to the restroom and had a Bar Gripper until he finally released his demon turd.

Bar Gripper by Eaton Holgoode January 27, 2015

Glute Glaze 

Glute Glaze is the accumulation of fecal particles and dried urine residue that accumulates throughout the day on the lids of publicly used toilets. Glute Glaze, while often invisible to the naked eye, is a greasy sheen of human ass sweat, butt grease and excrement particles that transfer onto the Gluteus Maximus aka Ass and the backs of the legs when one sits on a public toilet. The only way to remove Glute Glaze is to shower thoroughly at the end of each day. Glute Glaze can be avoided completely by using a toilet seat cover also known as a Toilet Bib but even then, showering is still highly recommended due to airborne excrement particles .

Sherwin returned home after a long day traveling to job sites repairing lawn mowers. Throughout the day, Sherwin relieved his usual bodily functions at various public toilets. Sherwin's girlfriend Hanna refused all romantic interludes, touching and spooning after he got home until Sherwin hit the shower and rid himself of the day's worth of Glute Glaze he had accumulated.

Glute Glaze by Eaton Holgoode January 27, 2015

Binder Knot 

An alternative way describe being in a constipated state. A Binder Knot is a clogged colon resulting in severe constipation also known as sewer capped. Having a Binder Knot is usually a result of the lack of fiber combined with ingesting copious amounts of cheese, ice cream and other dairy products medically known to be "binding" and constipating.

Howard hosted a playoff party for all of his Green Bay Packer friends. As part of the game day spread, Howard prepared a smorgasbord including pounds and pounds of various Wisconsin cheeses. After Green Bay blew their chances to go to the Super Bowl, Howard went on an unprecedented cheese eating bender and consumed almost five pounds of ripe Stilton. The next morning he found himself seated on the shitter, grabbing the sides of the toilet and straining to release the biggest Binder Knot he had ever encountered.

Binder Knot by Eaton Holgoode January 26, 2015

Momma's Bean 

An affectionate and alternative referral to the clit or clitoris on your wife or girlfriend.

Jim: What's up Roger? Want to go drinking tonight?
Roger: Can't tonight Bro. Got plans.
Jim: What plans?
Roger: Heading straight home tonight and do a little flickin' on Momma's Bean.
Jim: Engorge it Brahhhh! Engorge it!

Momma's Bean by Eaton Holgoode January 26, 2015