Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Dingy Mop 

A old woman's very hairy old gray vagina and overgrown taint The overgrowth looks like she's shaking an old, dirty mop head around.

I'm scarred for life brooohhh. I just walked in on my gramma douching herself on the toilet and all I saw was her dingy mop. I feel sick.

Dingy Mop by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2016

Wet Tug

Giving yourself a feverish, orgasmic wank job in the shower, pool, lake or other body of water.

Carl woke with a rigid case of morning wood. Rather than rubbing one out in bed, he hopped in the shower for a wet tug.

Dan was swimming at his grandma's assisted living center pool and the geriatric water aerobics class was too much to watch so he swam to the deep end for a quick wet tug.

Wet Tug by Eaton Holgoode January 8, 2016

Stool Plunger 

A long skinny penis with an extremely large, bulbous head. Considered ideal for anal sex.

All the ladies wanted to smash with Carl as he was rumored to be hung with a stool plunger.

Stool Plunger by Eaton Holgoode January 7, 2016

Acid Rash 

The miserable burning and stinging of the entire rectal area after the release of explosive diarrhea.

Dude I can barely walk. I got the hangover shits and a bad acid rash.

Acid Rash by Eaton Holgoode January 7, 2016

Crowning the Throne 

Struggling on the toilet to release a turd. One achieves crowning, but unable to do a full release. Pushing may or may not result in a partial pinch.

Roger clearly realized he was constipated bad when he was on the crapper for over an hour Crowning the Throne.

Crowning the Throne by Eaton Holgoode January 7, 2016

Knotted Up 

To be unable to defecate due to being in a constipated state of existence. Suffering from severe constipation.

Roger was late to work because he spent too long on the toilet trying to heave a turd but it never released and he remained knotted up through the day.

Knotted Up by Eaton Holgoode January 5, 2016

Grundle Leech 

A sexual deviant that suffers from a taint fetish and when engaged in sexual activity, latches hold and spends an inordinate amount of time stimulating the grundle area of their partner.

I'm not going out with Carl again. All I wanted was a little oral action when we got home and he turned out to be a Grundle Leech.

Grundle Leech by Eaton Holgoode January 4, 2016