A monster that likes certain classes taught at residential care homes. The monster often jumps up and down happily taking in all the sights and sounds. Module Monsters really like art, exercise, and various other things. Look out for the Module Monster; its coming to a care home near you!
Brad: Hey Beatrice, how's it going?
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
Beatrice: Hey, aren't you Brad Hammers? I've heard a lot about you.
Brad: Well, I've heard an awful lot about Bryant's Gunny Granny. Pleasure to meet you!
Beatrice: Oh, he told you? Do you know my creed?
Brad: Yes, but I'd love to hear you say.
Beatrice: A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do.
Bryant: Hey guys, what's going on? Is it time for the modules class yet?
Brad: Just about time there, Module Monster!
Beatrice: What on Earth is a Module Monster? I never saw it.
Bryant: A Module Monster is a monster that likes module classes. It likes to do all sorts of fun stuff.
Beatrice: Cool! Any monster friend of yours is a friend of mine.
Brad: Bryant is a huge Module Monster and my go-to-guy. He's gonna help me introduce Qigong to everyone.
Master Ken: Yeah, Qigong is beautiful. They'd really like it. You'll make a great teacher!
Bryant: Module Monsters! Fun stuff forever!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 19, 2011
A form of jumping jacks done under a tree, combining yard work and exercise. This was created by Ralph Drabble on September 30, 2011. They are hard to do because the leaves fall with every jump. The leaves are caught, then raked into a pile. As the final part of the exercise one monster jumping jack is taken and the leaves are jumped into and then played with. Leaf Jacks are a great way to get cardio and yard work at the same time. So if you're tired but want to relax, take a tip from Ralph - try Leaf Jacks!
Ralph: Oh no, time for some Leaf Jacks! This yard is gonna get covered in leaves. (he starts doing jumping jacks and counting) One.. Two.. Three.. Four..
Hec: Hey, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird jumping jack?
Ralph: Yes, its a Leaf Jack. You catch the leaves while you're doing jumping jacks. Try it out!
Hec: (starts doing some Leaf Jacks) Yi.. Er.. San.. Si.. Wow! Nice one! Great for qigong.
Ralph: These are right. Great healing movies. (make a seeahh sound)
Beatrice: I saw that! You two guys better hustle. (she turns into Gunny Granny mode) Move it! MOVE IT! (she starts doing some Leaf Jacks) Wow, these work! A Gunny Granny could learn to love these.
Hec: Yup! Maybe they should be part of Marine Corps PT.
Ralph: Sweet! A Drabble's gotta do what a Drabble's gotta do. (he rakes the leaves up and they all jump into it, playing) Leaf Jacks rule!
Hec: Hey, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird jumping jack?
Ralph: Yes, its a Leaf Jack. You catch the leaves while you're doing jumping jacks. Try it out!
Hec: (starts doing some Leaf Jacks) Yi.. Er.. San.. Si.. Wow! Nice one! Great for qigong.
Ralph: These are right. Great healing movies. (make a seeahh sound)
Beatrice: I saw that! You two guys better hustle. (she turns into Gunny Granny mode) Move it! MOVE IT! (she starts doing some Leaf Jacks) Wow, these work! A Gunny Granny could learn to love these.
Hec: Yup! Maybe they should be part of Marine Corps PT.
Ralph: Sweet! A Drabble's gotta do what a Drabble's gotta do. (he rakes the leaves up and they all jump into it, playing) Leaf Jacks rule!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 13, 2011
A funeral held for dead flowers. Usually in a flowerbed side service honoring the sweetness and beauty of the dead flowers. Usually held after cutting or throwing away the dead flowers. Is also often held in a church. The only known Flower Funeral happened on November 18, 2011 when Ed Crankshaft, his daughter Pam Murdoch, and her husband Jeff were attending the funeral of a close friend. A Flower Funeral is not sad. In fact, it is very calming. So, if you want beautiful flowers for all time, hold a Flower Funeral for the ones you lost. Its a sweet thing to do.
Ed: Oh no, all my flower died. How am I going to remember them?
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 24, 2011
A disease very similar to Middletons' Disease only much worse. This disease is suffered by Beatrice Middleton when she wants to play with the kids, but they aren't there. It is also commonly seen in the Middletons' pet dog, Bumper, when he wants to play. When she gets Gunny Granny Flu Beatrice is often stuck in the house and is very lonely. It is cured by intense workouts and other treatments such as massages. So if you love the comic strip 'The Middletons', be careful - you might get Middletons' Disease and the Gunny Granny Flu.
Bumper: Uh oh, its school time again. I bet Miss Beatrice will have the Gunny Granny Flu.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
Rusty: She sure will! Its tough when the kids are in school. Crazy fall time.
Beatrice: Yes, it is crazy around this time. But think of it this way: you get to spend all your time with me. Isn't that sweet? (She reaches for a Martian Mud and rubs it into Bumper's fur)
Bumper: Thank you! That's better. Now I've got the Gunny Granny Flu. What else can we do?
Rusty: Well, I know she likes to stretch. How about we stretch each other? (Bumper and Rusty start stretching on each other)
Beatrice: Yes, that's it. You two know how to make a Gunny Granny feel better. Now how about a game of fetch? (she throws a tennis ball to Rusty)
Bumper and Rusty: Poor Beatrice! She doesn't know what to do. I guess the Gunny Granny Flu will never end. Its just so sad.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 14, 2011
A judo throw that was created by Liv Hatley. Done by first getting in a horse stance and asking the person to come near you, then giving them a hug using the hands. Then the legs are wrapped around the person's waist so that you're hugging them with your full body. The throw ends with either a punch or a sweep causing both people to roll over laughing and wrestling. This so much fun. If you want to get your grandparents to play with you, ask them for a Horsey Hug and tell them Liv Hatley told you!
Liv: Hey Bryant, come here! You want to play judo with me? Come on, give me a Horsey Hug!
Bryant: Okay, here we go. (crouches in the horse stance waiting)
Liv: Okay, here I come. (she hugs Bryant with her hands) Hold on! We're not in the Horsey Hug yet. I gotta get my legs in there. Its not a Horsey Hug unless you go whole body with it, you know?
Bryant: (laughing) I know, if you don't do it full body, its just not a Horsey Hug. (wraps his legs around Liv's waist and execute a tiger's claw) See? Like that. You didn't get your whole body into it. There wasn't enough power.
Liv: I know. But isn't this fun? Its a great exercise, huh? Maybe next time we should let Grandpa Ben know about it. He doesn't know the secret of the Horsey Hug, yet.
Bryant: I know, he likes his Hatley Hula better. (leans over into a Hatley Hula and kisses Liv) Whew! What a workout. I just about got strangled.
Liv: I know. But that was a Horsey Hug. I had to show you some Hatley love.
Bryant: Okay, here we go. (crouches in the horse stance waiting)
Liv: Okay, here I come. (she hugs Bryant with her hands) Hold on! We're not in the Horsey Hug yet. I gotta get my legs in there. Its not a Horsey Hug unless you go whole body with it, you know?
Bryant: (laughing) I know, if you don't do it full body, its just not a Horsey Hug. (wraps his legs around Liv's waist and execute a tiger's claw) See? Like that. You didn't get your whole body into it. There wasn't enough power.
Liv: I know. But isn't this fun? Its a great exercise, huh? Maybe next time we should let Grandpa Ben know about it. He doesn't know the secret of the Horsey Hug, yet.
Bryant: I know, he likes his Hatley Hula better. (leans over into a Hatley Hula and kisses Liv) Whew! What a workout. I just about got strangled.
Liv: I know. But that was a Horsey Hug. I had to show you some Hatley love.
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 14, 2011
A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.
Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.
Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!
Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!
Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011
A condition of falling asleep while watching TV. Most often seen when a boring show has just ended. It is most often found in Ben Hatley but also is seen in his wife, Olivia. They don't watch TV together much because of this. It is intensely hard to treat.
Ben: Hey Liv, I think 'Bodies in Motion' is on the TV. Want to watch it?
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
Liv: Sure, but we'll probably end up sleep watching.
Gilad: No you won't!! If you're gonna watch me you better do it?
Myrtle: Stupid Rascal, making me stiff like that. Maybe this will help.
Ralph: Count me in too, I need a workout.
Necky: You know, this is cool. I used to watch this when it was on before. Great workout.
Gil: (laughing at Necky) Did you like it?
Necky: Yes, I did. Used to do it when I was in the Marines. (gives a salute and screams 'Hoorah!')
(Ben and Liv start stretching on each other. Gil is laughing at Ben and Liv.)
Beatrice: Ten hut!!! One, two, three, four, you'd better work yourself some more!
Ben: (yawn) I knew we'd end up sleep watching. This is tough!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 08, 2011