Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
A bat often brought to a sale by older women which is used to fight for a sale item. Usually done when another grandma tries to get the same sale item you wanted first. Sale Bats are also part of the pre-Christmas workout called 'Sale-R-cise', although it can be used at any time. The first known use of a Sale Bat was on April 27, 2011 when Beatrice and Paul Middleton were playing with one. You have to be careful not to get caught with it or else you will hear Mom yell very loudly.
Beatrice: Hey Wilson, want me to teach you how to use a Sale Bat?
Wilson: (stunned) Are you talking like a vandal? I don't know. What good will a Sale Bat do me? Are you trying to get me in trouble here?
Beatrice: No, this is how you use a Sale Bat. Its a whole lot of fun. What you do is you take it to the store and wait for an old granny like me to come and steal a sale item. Then here's the fun part: you clobber them with it. I mean, you really let 'em have it!
Bryant: Beatrice Elvira Mary Duke Middleton!! What in the world are you teaching him? To steal stuff? Oh my God! My own Gunny Granny, a common criminal!!
Beatrice: (laughing) Well, you want a piece of it! We could We could practice on Grandma Flo. It'd be fun. Then we could go to the store and try it out for real.
Morris: (really angry) Mom, I don't approve of this. You are NOT taking that ball bat to the store. I will not have it!
Beatrice: (starts swinging at Morris with the baseball bat) You want a piece of me, son? Do you?!! Pretend I'm at the store trying to steal something you want. I'm trying to give you all a lesson here. That's all this is.
Morris: Hey, that item was in my cart. Get away from it!! (grabs the bat and whacks Beatrice hard in the arm).
Beatrice: That's it! You've got it now! That's a Sale Bat. Every granny should keep one of these. Even a Gunny Granny like me.
Wilson: (stunned) Are you talking like a vandal? I don't know. What good will a Sale Bat do me? Are you trying to get me in trouble here?
Beatrice: No, this is how you use a Sale Bat. Its a whole lot of fun. What you do is you take it to the store and wait for an old granny like me to come and steal a sale item. Then here's the fun part: you clobber them with it. I mean, you really let 'em have it!
Bryant: Beatrice Elvira Mary Duke Middleton!! What in the world are you teaching him? To steal stuff? Oh my God! My own Gunny Granny, a common criminal!!
Beatrice: (laughing) Well, you want a piece of it! We could We could practice on Grandma Flo. It'd be fun. Then we could go to the store and try it out for real.
Morris: (really angry) Mom, I don't approve of this. You are NOT taking that ball bat to the store. I will not have it!
Beatrice: (starts swinging at Morris with the baseball bat) You want a piece of me, son? Do you?!! Pretend I'm at the store trying to steal something you want. I'm trying to give you all a lesson here. That's all this is.
Morris: Hey, that item was in my cart. Get away from it!! (grabs the bat and whacks Beatrice hard in the arm).
Beatrice: That's it! You've got it now! That's a Sale Bat. Every granny should keep one of these. Even a Gunny Granny like me.
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 21, 2011
Get the Sale Bat mug.A substitute referee that came in when the other ref got sick. Usually dressed in a normal ref uniform, but with white sneakers instead of black. Often also leads the crowd in warm up stretches yelling "Move it!". Once of the most famous is Beatrice Middleton as seen in 'The Middletons' strip from December 27, 2009. Reftitutes are crazy. They will eject you!
Liv: Hey, today's a great day for a jog! How about some warm up stretches?
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 20, 2011
Get the Reftitute mug.The condition of having used coco butter and honey lotion. Often given in the form of a massage or beauty treatment. This is most notably seen in Opal Crankshaft, but has also been seen in others, such as her husband, Earl.
Opal: Just look at your hands. They're like a snake.
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 29, 2010
Get the Honeyhanded mug.its an abdominal exercise created and done by Ben Cranston. Done by standing someone on your chest and then doing a situp so they crunch against you.
Ben: Boy, this Cranston Crunch is a real ab killer!
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 1, 2010
Get the Cranston Crunch mug.The act of drinking hot chocolate mixed with honey. The idea behind this is that the hot cocoa plus the warm honey heats up the body. This is done by Opal Crankshaft in the winter when she's cold. And she also does it to her ex-husband, Earl.
Opal: Hey sweetie, I feel like some coco. You want to get honeybodied?
Ed: What are you talking about? I've never heard of that.
Opal: Well, it works this way: (mixing the coco with the honey) see, they're both hot and the heat warms up the body.
Ralph M.: Hey Ed, what's going on? What's that drink?
Ed: You want some? We're getting honeybodied here.
Ralph D.: Count me in, too. I'm so cold and stiff from that workout I had today. June nearly drove me crazy!
Opal: Well, here y'all. Have some of this stuff. Its guaranteed; you'll be honeybodied in no time!
Ed: What are you talking about? I've never heard of that.
Opal: Well, it works this way: (mixing the coco with the honey) see, they're both hot and the heat warms up the body.
Ralph M.: Hey Ed, what's going on? What's that drink?
Ed: You want some? We're getting honeybodied here.
Ralph D.: Count me in, too. I'm so cold and stiff from that workout I had today. June nearly drove me crazy!
Opal: Well, here y'all. Have some of this stuff. Its guaranteed; you'll be honeybodied in no time!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 16, 2011
Get the Honeybodied mug.An exercise done by Ralph Drabble after working in the yard. It is often accompanied by coaching his body parts as if he were actually talking to them. A wonderful way work off arthritis.
Ralph: Boy, I'm stiff. I've gotta do my Drabble Stand.
Ed: What's a Drabble Stand? Is that some sort of arthritis exercise?
Ralph: Yup, works great. Guaranteed relief.
Ed: Show me how, I've never tried it.
Ralph: (demonstrating) Come on, knee, you can do it!
Ed: What's a Drabble Stand? Is that some sort of arthritis exercise?
Ralph: Yup, works great. Guaranteed relief.
Ed: Show me how, I've never tried it.
Ralph: (demonstrating) Come on, knee, you can do it!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 14, 2010
Get the Drabble Stand mug.A workout done inside a chapel by Catholic priests. This was first done by SFC. Fr. Roger Stainglass when he's preaching a sermon. It mostly consists of three exercises called "God Squats", "Lord Lunges", and "Jehovah Jacks". Usually they are done in three or four rounds in quick succession. A circuit of this always ends by kneeling on the prayer bench and saying one Hail Mary before the next circuit begins. Stainy does this in the mornings before the early service. So if you want a religious workout that will really perk you, try a Communion Circuit - it can't hurt you! Stainy Stainglass said so!
Stainy: Hey Bryant, you feel like some exercise? Let's do our Communion Circuit. I need some stretches.
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011
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