141 definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
A feeling of what life would be like without one's wife, in this case personified by Opal Crankshaft, first used by Earl Pickles.
Earl: You know, Ed, I feel kind of Opal-Less.
Ed: What do you mean?
Earl: Well, that was my wife. Since you married her I miss her.
Ed: Well, without her I'd be Opal-Less myself.
Earl: Ed, I hope you never have to find out.
Ed: What do you mean?
Earl: Well, that was my wife. Since you married her I miss her.
Ed: Well, without her I'd be Opal-Less myself.
Earl: Ed, I hope you never have to find out.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 15, 2010
It's a bear that patrols malls, often catching bad shoppers and putting them in mall jails. One of many mall cop animals.
Ralph: It's been a rough day. The mall grizzly out here is really crazy.
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 9, 2010
It's a bear that patrols malls, often catching bad shoppers and putting them in mall jails. One of many mall cop animals.
Ralph: It's been a rough day. The mall grizzly out here is really crazy.
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.
Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 9, 2010
An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.
Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
The idea of seeing the world through a dog's eyes. Often from the perspective of a person standing close with the dog near their feet so that only the person's tibia (shin) is seen. This is often seen in Ralph Drabble who has some of the toughest shins in the country.
Ralph: (eating a bag of pretzels) Hey Wally, you want one? (Kneels down so that Wally slams against Ralph's shins when running in)
Wally: Sure, I love seeing you humans' world this way. It's Shinvision. (Runs away tripping on the rug crashing hard into Opal Crankshaft's legs)
Opal: (screaming) Ow! Tender tibia, why do you do that? Wally, that hurt! My shins aren't as hard as Ralph's.
Wally: (barking and talking at same time) Sorry, Miss Opal, I was just trying to get the pretzel from Ralph. I didn't know I was going to bang you.
Opal: (reaches down and starts to massage Wally) Its okay, I understand! We older people, we don't understand shinvision. Its mostly you younger guys.
Ralph: (taking Opal's weights and starts exercising with them) Well, that was a real shin shock!
Opal: Sweet! This is wild. Seeing the world from your shins. Awesome baby!! (gives Ralph a high five and then high paws Wally)
Wally: Sure, I love seeing you humans' world this way. It's Shinvision. (Runs away tripping on the rug crashing hard into Opal Crankshaft's legs)
Opal: (screaming) Ow! Tender tibia, why do you do that? Wally, that hurt! My shins aren't as hard as Ralph's.
Wally: (barking and talking at same time) Sorry, Miss Opal, I was just trying to get the pretzel from Ralph. I didn't know I was going to bang you.
Opal: (reaches down and starts to massage Wally) Its okay, I understand! We older people, we don't understand shinvision. Its mostly you younger guys.
Ralph: (taking Opal's weights and starts exercising with them) Well, that was a real shin shock!
Opal: Sweet! This is wild. Seeing the world from your shins. Awesome baby!! (gives Ralph a high five and then high paws Wally)
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 1, 2011
A very, very spicy chili made by Beatrice Middleton. Was a hit in mess halls in 1945, especially at Paris Island. Can be made of any meat, but mostly uses chicken or turkey. The secret is a mix of jalapeno and serrano peppers which she puts in with the meat. Don't get too close or it will explode. Hence the name: Hand Grenade Heat!
Beatrice: Hey y'all, who's hungry? I got something good. Who's ready for some Hand Grenade Heat?
Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?
Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.
Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!
Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!
Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.
Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!
Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?
Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!
Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?
Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.
Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!
Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!
Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.
Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!
Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?
Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 27, 2011
Another stretch done by the Hatleys. Done by first stretching your hands into the air. Then bending forward almost to your feet. Its often done by Ben Hatley after he's been sitting for too long. It is also done by his wife, Liv. Guaranteed to relax a creaky back. Its one of the exercises collectively known as 'Hatley Stretches'.
Liv: Oh no, my back's all creaky. I gotta do a Liv Lean.
Ben: You poor thing! I know what you need. My back gets creaky sometimes, too. Only I do a Hatley Hula to stretch mine.
Liv: Yeah, but the Liv Lean is much easier. All you do is throw your hands up in the air and then lean forward. You know, like you were going to touch your toes, but you just dangle your hands in front. It gives you a good, long stretch in your back. (Liv demonstrates to Ben how the stretch is done).
Ben: Wow! This really works. Its a real s-t-r-e-t-c-h! (groans in relief) Good one, Liv! My back feels great now.
Liv: (starts laughing at him) I told you so! Its one of the best back stretches. This is great! Whenever your back is sore, a Liv Lean can perk it right up.
Opal: Did I hear you right? Is that one of your stretches you do? My back's a little creaky. Can you show me?
Ben: Sure, you stretch your hands over your head and then lean down almost to the ground. It really stretches the back.
Opal: Sweet! I'm gonna have to show this to Ed. He'll love it.
Ben: You poor thing! I know what you need. My back gets creaky sometimes, too. Only I do a Hatley Hula to stretch mine.
Liv: Yeah, but the Liv Lean is much easier. All you do is throw your hands up in the air and then lean forward. You know, like you were going to touch your toes, but you just dangle your hands in front. It gives you a good, long stretch in your back. (Liv demonstrates to Ben how the stretch is done).
Ben: Wow! This really works. Its a real s-t-r-e-t-c-h! (groans in relief) Good one, Liv! My back feels great now.
Liv: (starts laughing at him) I told you so! Its one of the best back stretches. This is great! Whenever your back is sore, a Liv Lean can perk it right up.
Opal: Did I hear you right? Is that one of your stretches you do? My back's a little creaky. Can you show me?
Ben: Sure, you stretch your hands over your head and then lean down almost to the ground. It really stretches the back.
Opal: Sweet! I'm gonna have to show this to Ed. He'll love it.
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 28, 2011