A grandma who also works as a youth's sports coach. Often fires the other coaches and takes on coaching herself. One notable example of this happened on January 30, 2011 when Beatrice Middleton fired her son, Morris, from his Pop-Warner football team and took over the coaching herself.
Beatrice: (blowing the coach's whistle) Hey kids, Coach Morris isn't here any more. You've got yourselves a Grandma Coach!
Wilson: What on earth is a Grandma Coach?
Beatrice: It's a grandma that coaches kids' sports. Trust me, you'll like me just as much as you did him!
Wilson: I'm not so sure.
Beatrice: Trust me, it's going to be fun. I'll work you so hard you'll be begging for mercy! (blows the whistle again, yelling) MOVE IT!
Morris: Mom! You're working those guys too hard. A coach isn't supposed to work that way.
Beatrice: Oh yeah, well drop and give me fifty! (blows the whistle again, getting in Morris' face yelling) NOW!!!
Midge: Easy Beatrice, it's only your first day. You'll make a great coach, trust me!
Wilson: What on earth is a Grandma Coach?
Beatrice: It's a grandma that coaches kids' sports. Trust me, you'll like me just as much as you did him!
Wilson: I'm not so sure.
Beatrice: Trust me, it's going to be fun. I'll work you so hard you'll be begging for mercy! (blows the whistle again, yelling) MOVE IT!
Morris: Mom! You're working those guys too hard. A coach isn't supposed to work that way.
Beatrice: Oh yeah, well drop and give me fifty! (blows the whistle again, getting in Morris' face yelling) NOW!!!
Midge: Easy Beatrice, it's only your first day. You'll make a great coach, trust me!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 31, 2011
A very creamy warm up stretch created by Stan Parker. Done by bending your body into an 'S', first one way and then the other. The stretch is always counteracted by touching toes and holding it. This is one of the easiest ways to stretch your back. When your back hurts, try a Stanley S. Stan Parker approved; Harriet Parker used!
Stan: Hey honey, are you sore? Does your back hurt again?
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 31, 2011
A game of baseball created by Earl Pickles. Often played by Earl and his grandson, Nelson. It's used to teach kids how to hit the ball off the tee. Called 'Moonball' because the bat is often swung very hard and the ball is hit very far.
Nelson: (on the verge of crying but not quite) I'm just not a good batter. How can I learn to hit better?
Earl: What's the matter? Let's play Moonball. I'll show you how to do it.
Nelson: How?! I've never played Moonball before.
Earl: (demonstrating a proper batting stance) Here, do it like this. (swings the bat)
Nelson: Wow! Look at the ball go!
Earl: Wow! That ball almost went as high as the moon.
Nelson: (giving a high five) Move over, Ed Crankshaft, Earl Pickles is coming your way!
Ed: I heard that, Nelson Wolfe. You don't disrespect a Mudhen, you hear me?! (stares at him hard, angry eyed)
Nelson: Sorry, but I bet you never played Moonball when you played.
Earl: What's the matter? Let's play Moonball. I'll show you how to do it.
Nelson: How?! I've never played Moonball before.
Earl: (demonstrating a proper batting stance) Here, do it like this. (swings the bat)
Nelson: Wow! Look at the ball go!
Earl: Wow! That ball almost went as high as the moon.
Nelson: (giving a high five) Move over, Ed Crankshaft, Earl Pickles is coming your way!
Ed: I heard that, Nelson Wolfe. You don't disrespect a Mudhen, you hear me?! (stares at him hard, angry eyed)
Nelson: Sorry, but I bet you never played Moonball when you played.
by Dusty's Baby Powder February 27, 2011
A form of squat created on September 27, 2011 by Ben Hatley. It begins by standing by the Benmobile's front wheel with the feet spread as wide as possible. The wheel is then kicked or turned and then, between turns of the wheel, a plyometric squat is done. That is you jump up in between turns of the wheel. This is very powerful. If you thought doing squats was fun before, wait till you try Hatleysquats - they are awesome! Ben Hatley approved.
Ben: Hey Bryant, come here. How about a round of Hatleysquats? (he kicks the wheel of the Benmobile)
Bryant: I'm not sure. I know how to do it, but we did some this morning.
Ben: Well, it wouldn't hurt to do some again. Here, spread your feet and squat down when I turn the wheel. Then, for every time it turns, jump up once. Ready? (he turns the wheel and Bryant jumps up)
Liv: Wow! Are you doing Hatleysquats again? Let me at it! These are fun. Better than any old regular squat that I do.
Bryant: (counting, having already done 5) Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.. Ten! There! I feel awesome now.
Snapper: What?! This crazy exercise. I used to do these, but not like that. Show me.
Bryant: Here Aunt Snapper, I'll show you. Spread your feet out and crouch down. Then, when Grandpa Ben turns the wheel, jump up, then squat again. Its easy. Its a Hatleysquat.
Snapper: (tries it) Woah, that's brisk. Do you think Grandma Mac might like it?
Ben: Sure, she'll love it. They are so hot your quads will be an inferno by the time we're done. (he rubs his leg because he's squatted for so long) Sweet!
Bryant: I'm not sure. I know how to do it, but we did some this morning.
Ben: Well, it wouldn't hurt to do some again. Here, spread your feet and squat down when I turn the wheel. Then, for every time it turns, jump up once. Ready? (he turns the wheel and Bryant jumps up)
Liv: Wow! Are you doing Hatleysquats again? Let me at it! These are fun. Better than any old regular squat that I do.
Bryant: (counting, having already done 5) Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.. Ten! There! I feel awesome now.
Snapper: What?! This crazy exercise. I used to do these, but not like that. Show me.
Bryant: Here Aunt Snapper, I'll show you. Spread your feet out and crouch down. Then, when Grandpa Ben turns the wheel, jump up, then squat again. Its easy. Its a Hatleysquat.
Snapper: (tries it) Woah, that's brisk. Do you think Grandma Mac might like it?
Ben: Sure, she'll love it. They are so hot your quads will be an inferno by the time we're done. (he rubs his leg because he's squatted for so long) Sweet!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 28, 2011
A hair gel commonly used by grandpas. Often their grandsons comment on how good their hair looks. It is often sold in jars with Ed Crankshaft's picture on them. He has been known to use it.
Nelson: (let's out a big wolf whistle) Whoah, boy! You're getting all gussied up. What's going on?
Ed: I'm fixing my hair. I'm going bowling with a bunch of the bus drivers. You know, your Uncle Rudy and your Aunt Lena and all them.
Nelson: Wow! What's that stuff all in your hair?
Ed: (starts laughing) That's my Grandpa Goo. Hey, wanna come with me? The gang's gonna flip when you use this.
Nelson: Nice! (bends his head down) Let's massage this into my mop!
Ed: (growling) That's the ticket! No grandpa is complete without a good hairdo. All you need is some Grandpa Goo!
Ed: I'm fixing my hair. I'm going bowling with a bunch of the bus drivers. You know, your Uncle Rudy and your Aunt Lena and all them.
Nelson: Wow! What's that stuff all in your hair?
Ed: (starts laughing) That's my Grandpa Goo. Hey, wanna come with me? The gang's gonna flip when you use this.
Nelson: Nice! (bends his head down) Let's massage this into my mop!
Ed: (growling) That's the ticket! No grandpa is complete without a good hairdo. All you need is some Grandpa Goo!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 27, 2011
The act of getting a cat off your lap. This can be done in any number of ways, but the term usually refers to the use of a hearing aid turned up full volume as seen with Earl Pickles' cat, Muffin.
Muffin: (thinking to herself) Oh, Earl's lap, I'm going to jump up there and try to scratch him!
Earl: Stupid cat! Hey Clyde, get me my hearing aid!!!
Clyde: (yelling) What in the world for? Earl Pickles, are you crazy?
Earl: I'll show you what I mean. (turns up the hearing aid loud so it's squealing. Muffin jumps off his lap scared)
Clyde: (shocked) What on earth did you just do?
Earl: That, my friend, is the art of being Decatted!
Earl: Stupid cat! Hey Clyde, get me my hearing aid!!!
Clyde: (yelling) What in the world for? Earl Pickles, are you crazy?
Earl: I'll show you what I mean. (turns up the hearing aid loud so it's squealing. Muffin jumps off his lap scared)
Clyde: (shocked) What on earth did you just do?
Earl: That, my friend, is the art of being Decatted!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 28, 2011
Intense love for Amos and Martha Halftrack. Shown most notably by Bryant Hollifield. One major symptom of Halftrack Fever is going crazy when Marty is seen in a bathrobe or when Amos wears his uniform. This is an intense disease. The only way it can be cured is loving them even more.
Marty: Have a nice day, dear. Hope you don't get Halftrack Fever!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 02, 2011