Ma’am jam

A traffic jam created by two or more moms who stop to chat in a doorway, oblivious of the crowd behind them.

Shep thought he could make it out of the gym before the concession stand closed, but he didn’t count on the inevitable postgame ma’am jam.

by Dorkmuffin April 29, 2019

Hambooger

The result of someone blowing snot all over a burger, whether by accident or on purpose.

Shep’s allergies hit him while he was grilling out, so he wound up serving juicy delicious hamboogers to everyone at the picnic.

by Dorkmuffin April 29, 2019

Growhawk

The thin strip of grass that the yard guy missed when he mowed.

At first I was mad that Ronnie left a growhawk in the front yard, but it was a great place to hide Easter eggs.

by Dorkmuffin April 25, 2019

22-wheeler

Noun: A blockage created by a “careful driver” attempting to pass a tractor-trailer; upon reaching the back of the trailer, the car slows to 1 mph faster than the truck and takes 3 or 4 miles to pass before resuming normal speed.

Shep really had to use the bathroom and almost didn’t make it to the rest stop in time because some grandpa created a 22-wheeler right in front of him.

by Dorkmuffin May 04, 2019

Jack the Tipper

Noun: A guy who leaves a dollar per person on the table, no matter the amount of the bill.

After providing three hours of exceptional service, Shep was horrified to learn that Jack the Tipper was the host of that night’s party of twelve.

by Dorkmuffin May 03, 2019

Grossipe

Noun. A particularly disgusting recipe.

Shep clogged the toilet after eating snacks made from his brother’s new grossipe.

by Dorkmuffin April 21, 2020

Old Yeller

A sports dad who is never happy with the performance of the officials, the other team, his own coach, or his own kid, and makes sure everyone around him knows it.

Is it wrong to wish that Old Yeller behind us would meet the same fate as the dog in the book?

by Dorkmuffin May 03, 2019