5 definitions by Dekrepit90

houseband

A term derived from the word "housewife" and "husband" used to describe an unemployed boyfriend/fiancé/husband who stays at home and does hosewife kinda stuff.

Dude1: Hey, bro. Wanna join me at the bar for a drink or five?

Dude2: na, bro. I can't. Don't you remember? I'm a houseband. I have chores to do.

by Dekrepit90 February 13, 2015

Fury Jams

A derogatory term for menstruation.

Dude: ayyy, babe! It's our 2 month anniversary, so are we going to bang?

Girl: no, honey. I have the fury jams!...

Dude: so I'm guessing oral is out of the question too?

by Dekrepit90 April 9, 2015

Hamstring

A crude term for "penis".

Girl: I will karate chop you right in the hamstring!
Guy: Jesus, that's a crude term for a penis.
Girl: Omg lol i don't even know what to do with you.

by Dekrepit90 April 15, 2016

Timmy Two Pumps

To be associated with the word "timmy two pumps" is not the most flattering of things. Simply put, it means you can't hold your load. Even simpler put - it means you're a premature ejaculator.

Dude1: bro! Why aren't you in the other room with that girl anymore?

Dude2: Man, I took off my pants and splooged everywhere. It was over before it started. She then proceeded to call me Timmy Two Pumps.

Dude1: godamnit, dude.

by Dekrepit90 February 16, 2015

Alleydicking

A "quickie" by definition. Although it's a special term used by hookers and their clients.

Dude1: "man, I need sex."

Dude2: "there's a cockeyed hooker in the alley behind my house. Why don't you give her a good ol' alleydicking?"

Dude1: "rad! Don't worry, I'll be back in time to finish our game of Chess"

by Dekrepit90 July 3, 2014