Definitions by David W. Chimchim

patterasty

The act of turning into a mushmouth halfway through a Gilbert and Sullivan patter song.

My Major-General started strong, but halfway through I swallowed six syllables and committed outright patterasty.

patterasty by David W. Chimchim October 30, 2026

patterastrophe

A Gilbert and Sullivan audition in which the performer's ambition outruns their diction, breath control, and vocal ability.

My Major-General audition became a patterastrophe: I ran out of breath, invented three words, and surrendered to the accompanist.

patterastrophe by David W. Chimchim October 30, 2026

motherfuckititis

An allergic reaction to being told to shut up.

"Shut up," she said. His motherfuckititis swarmed through him like fire ants up the legs of a man in an Elmo costume who'd just peed on their nest.

motherfuckititis by David W. Chimchim October 26, 2026

motherfuckititis

An inflammatory Oedipal complex

His therapist diagnosed motherfuckititis. His mother left town.

motherfuckititis by David W. Chimchim October 26, 2026

motherfuckititis

A temporary condition in which every minor inconvenience becomes "this motherfucker."

The printer jammed, my sleeve caught the doorknob, and now the microwave's beeping. Acute motherfuckititis.

motherfuckititis by David W. Chimchim October 26, 2026

telosmirage

The false sense of having finished a series when more is still coming. Coined October 21, 2026, from Greek telos (end, completion) + French mirage (an illusion that looks real from a distance). Pronounced TEL-os-mih-RAHZH. Also: telosmiraged (adj.), telosmirager (n.), to telosmirage (v.).

I closed the last page, felt the grief of a finished series, then found out the finale was split in two. Pure telosmirage.

telosmirage by David W. Chimchim October 21, 2026

prosobiblia

The happy, satisfied, aching, deeply concentrated feeling of finishing a monster book through effort. Coined October 19, 2026, from Greek prosoche (sustained attention) + biblia (books). Pronounced PROS-oh-BIB-lee-uh.

Three weeks and 870 pages later, I finally closed the book and just sat there, basking in the prosobiblia.

prosobiblia by David W. Chimchim October 20, 2026