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Definitions by Cuntoleezza Rice

Mormon Panty Liners 

Special Holy sanitary pads used by Mormon women to protect their Mormon Underwear from "the curse". These are sometimes also used by Mormon men to avoid being embarrassed by Mormon Crotch.
1. Naomi didn't want the class to know she would be unclean for a week, so she used Mormon Panty Liners to hide the shameful stain.

2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.

Mormon Missionary Position 

A position one assumes while having sex (in any position) with a Mormon Missionary.
The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.

encrapment 

A technique used by undercover police when performing a sting operation to entrap a felcher like Larry Craig while cottaging in an airport rest room.
Noting the abnomally wide stance of the guy in the next stall, The officer grunted and moaned trying to get cottager's attention.

In the next stall Repugnican Senator Larry Craig became more and more aroused. The sound of the yound cop pinching a loaf drove the old skat lover wild. He thought he'd found a blumpkindred spirit. Little did he know he'd soon be the victim of encrapment.

Craig later claimed his wide stance was just to to keep his trousers up. Everyone knew it was really to accomodate his gaping asshole aquired from years of fisting.
encrapment by Cuntoleezza Rice November 6, 2007

blumpkindred spirit 

A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.

Holy Water 

The water that flows from a priest's butthole after an enema.
Father Pedofuck called to the altar boy "Come here son and help me make some Holy Water."
Holy Water by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2007

colostofuck 

1. Sexual penetration of someones colostomy site. In rare cases this can be a masturbatory act, depending on the location of the colostomy opening. See sidewinder, ostitute, stomalingus, philly sidecar, clorch

2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
1. I always wanted to throw a good colostofuck into Jerry Falwell. Now that he's dead though a necro-colostofuck seems a bit much.

2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.

Captain Poopypants 

A female astronaut who traveled 950 miles wearing a diaper to attack the "other woman" in a love triangle.
CAPTAIN: Keep your hands off him bitch!
VICTIM: Yuck, what's that smell? You must be Captain Poopypants.