To be cuncked is to fall victim to a self-important occult grifter, to be scammed, ghosted, or otherwise spiritually shortchanged by someone who talks a big game but delivers nothing. It’s the realization that the ‘mystic authority’ you admired was just another PayPal wizard, cashing in on esoteric clout while ignoring their students, dodging accountability, and spiraling into political cope-posting.
A person is cuncked when:
They pay a premium for a course, mentorship, or initiation… only to be left on read.
They get hyped up on promises of “secret teachings”… but all they receive is a PDF that’s mostly rebranded Wikipedia.
They try to ask questions about the material, but the “teacher” is too busy debating neoliberal talking points on Facebook.
They realize that this isn’t an esoteric master at all—it’s just a middle-aged doomer hoarding tarot decks and whining about democracy.
They put their faith in the wrong person and end up poorer, disillusioned, and PayPal-pilled.
Once you’ve been cuncked, there’s no going back. You either wake up and walk away, or you cope, double down, and defend the grift. Many don’t survive the second cuncking.
A person is cuncked when:
They pay a premium for a course, mentorship, or initiation… only to be left on read.
They get hyped up on promises of “secret teachings”… but all they receive is a PDF that’s mostly rebranded Wikipedia.
They try to ask questions about the material, but the “teacher” is too busy debating neoliberal talking points on Facebook.
They realize that this isn’t an esoteric master at all—it’s just a middle-aged doomer hoarding tarot decks and whining about democracy.
They put their faith in the wrong person and end up poorer, disillusioned, and PayPal-pilled.
Once you’ve been cuncked, there’s no going back. You either wake up and walk away, or you cope, double down, and defend the grift. Many don’t survive the second cuncking.
"I thought I was signing up for an advanced course, but it turned out to be a pay-to-play scam with zero engagement. I got cuncked."
"Bro, he charged me $900 for an ‘esoteric training’ that was literally just a livestream of him monologuing. That’s a hard cuncking."
"I realized I’d been cuncked when my so-called mentor started posting tarot readings about election results instead of answering my questions."
"You can tell someone’s been cuncked when they start making excuses for their guru’s grift instead of admitting they got scammed."
"Bro, he charged me $900 for an ‘esoteric training’ that was literally just a livestream of him monologuing. That’s a hard cuncking."
"I realized I’d been cuncked when my so-called mentor started posting tarot readings about election results instead of answering my questions."
"You can tell someone’s been cuncked when they start making excuses for their guru’s grift instead of admitting they got scammed."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the Cunckedmug. Psycunck (noun) | Pronunciation: /sai-kʌŋk/
A Psycunck is an occult grifter who weaponizes pop psychology, self-help jargon, and esoteric mysticism to justify their spiritual scam. Unlike the basic Cunck, who just overcharges for PDFs, or the Adeptus Cunckus, who has ascended into full PayPal omnipotence, a Psycunck preys on followers through therapy-speak, gaslighting, and manipulation disguised as wisdom.
A Psycunck is defined by:
Using therapy buzzwords to silence critics (“You’re just projecting your unhealed wounds onto me.”)
Gaslighting students when they ask questions (“If you don’t understand, that’s just your shadow self resisting the work.”)
Framing their own grift as a psychological necessity (“Spiritual teachers deserve compensation for the energy they hold for you.”)
Releasing ‘freebie rituals’ to lure in trust, only to later push high-ticket mentorships.
Screeching about ‘low vibrational energy’ anytime someone points out their contradictions.
Quoting Jung, but only the parts that let them evade accountability.
Rebranding their ghosting as ‘energetic boundaries.’
Claiming their political doomposting is ‘shadow integration.’
A Psycunck doesn’t just sell magic—they sell parasitic guru psychology, convincing followers that their doubt is the problem and that healing = sending more money.
A Psycunck is an occult grifter who weaponizes pop psychology, self-help jargon, and esoteric mysticism to justify their spiritual scam. Unlike the basic Cunck, who just overcharges for PDFs, or the Adeptus Cunckus, who has ascended into full PayPal omnipotence, a Psycunck preys on followers through therapy-speak, gaslighting, and manipulation disguised as wisdom.
A Psycunck is defined by:
Using therapy buzzwords to silence critics (“You’re just projecting your unhealed wounds onto me.”)
Gaslighting students when they ask questions (“If you don’t understand, that’s just your shadow self resisting the work.”)
Framing their own grift as a psychological necessity (“Spiritual teachers deserve compensation for the energy they hold for you.”)
Releasing ‘freebie rituals’ to lure in trust, only to later push high-ticket mentorships.
Screeching about ‘low vibrational energy’ anytime someone points out their contradictions.
Quoting Jung, but only the parts that let them evade accountability.
Rebranding their ghosting as ‘energetic boundaries.’
Claiming their political doomposting is ‘shadow integration.’
A Psycunck doesn’t just sell magic—they sell parasitic guru psychology, convincing followers that their doubt is the problem and that healing = sending more money.
"He gave me a ‘freebie ritual,’ told me I was on the path, then told me I needed a $900 course to ‘fully integrate’ it. I got Psycuncked."
"I questioned the ritual framework, and the Psycunck told me I was just afraid of stepping into my own power. Then they blocked me."
"She ghosted me for months, then called it ‘sacred space-holding.’ Classic Psycunck move."
"I realized I was dealing with a Psycunck when he told me that questioning his $600 astrology mentorship was just me projecting ‘scarcity trauma.’"
"A true Psycunck doesn’t refund—he just says, ‘Your reaction to this is the real spiritual lesson.’"
"I questioned the ritual framework, and the Psycunck told me I was just afraid of stepping into my own power. Then they blocked me."
"She ghosted me for months, then called it ‘sacred space-holding.’ Classic Psycunck move."
"I realized I was dealing with a Psycunck when he told me that questioning his $600 astrology mentorship was just me projecting ‘scarcity trauma.’"
"A true Psycunck doesn’t refund—he just says, ‘Your reaction to this is the real spiritual lesson.’"
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the Psycunckmug. Strategic Cunckery is a witchy pyramid scheme that hides a pay-to-play mystical empire behind intellectual posturing, social maneuvering, and a carefully curated online persona—all in the name of Hekate (and anything else that sells).
Strategic Cunckery paypigs usually don’t realize they’ve been cuncked until they’re five courses and a few audio files deep.
A Strategic Cunckster doesn’t just sell magic—they sell the illusion of elite knowledge, where each expensive lesson only unlocks the need for another. The greatest spell in their grimoire? The infinite upsell.
A master of Strategic Cunckery:
Slaps a price tag on goddesses, saints, and bodhisattvas like they're limited edition merch.
Turns Dharma into a Venmo invoice and Hekate into a Patreon tier.
Cranks out “thought leadership” essays to look wise while dodging real questions like Neo in The Matrix.
Packages their teachings in an infinite-tier system—there’s always another level you need to pay for.
Managing Strategic Cunckery means abandoning all pretense of teaching and ghosting students to scream about the rise of populism and post tarot spreads and bookshelf selfies. They selectively engage with only their most rabid liberal sycophants—who act as social gatekeepers, comment-section enforcers, and PayPal-funded cheerleaders for every screed about how true sorcery means pledging loyalty to the Corporate Left’s Great Work.
Strategic Cunckery paypigs usually don’t realize they’ve been cuncked until they’re five courses and a few audio files deep.
A Strategic Cunckster doesn’t just sell magic—they sell the illusion of elite knowledge, where each expensive lesson only unlocks the need for another. The greatest spell in their grimoire? The infinite upsell.
A master of Strategic Cunckery:
Slaps a price tag on goddesses, saints, and bodhisattvas like they're limited edition merch.
Turns Dharma into a Venmo invoice and Hekate into a Patreon tier.
Cranks out “thought leadership” essays to look wise while dodging real questions like Neo in The Matrix.
Packages their teachings in an infinite-tier system—there’s always another level you need to pay for.
Managing Strategic Cunckery means abandoning all pretense of teaching and ghosting students to scream about the rise of populism and post tarot spreads and bookshelf selfies. They selectively engage with only their most rabid liberal sycophants—who act as social gatekeepers, comment-section enforcers, and PayPal-funded cheerleaders for every screed about how true sorcery means pledging loyalty to the Corporate Left’s Great Work.
"Hekate must be nearing exhaustion — for every Adeptus Cunckus wiping his ass with her name on a PayPal invoice, there’s a chorus of disillusioned, cuncked paypigs sobbing into their empty bank accounts, wondering if they just paid for divine wisdom or subsidized another tarot deck haul."
"When I asked for clarification about the course, he told me I needed to ‘unpack my reaction to his work’ before I could understand it. That’s Strategic Cunckery at its finest."
"She’s spent five years writing articles about ‘the problem with modern occultism,’ but her only real contribution has been monetizing Strategic Cunckery."
"If your teacher’s entire practice consists of name-dropping, intellectual gatekeeping, and expensive courses that lead to even more expensive courses, congratulations—you’ve been initiated into Strategic Cunckery."
"He called my criticism ‘dangerous misinformation,’ then pivoted to selling a $900 ‘Esoteric Crisis Management’ course. Strategic Cunckery is undefeated."
"When I asked for clarification about the course, he told me I needed to ‘unpack my reaction to his work’ before I could understand it. That’s Strategic Cunckery at its finest."
"She’s spent five years writing articles about ‘the problem with modern occultism,’ but her only real contribution has been monetizing Strategic Cunckery."
"If your teacher’s entire practice consists of name-dropping, intellectual gatekeeping, and expensive courses that lead to even more expensive courses, congratulations—you’ve been initiated into Strategic Cunckery."
"He called my criticism ‘dangerous misinformation,’ then pivoted to selling a $900 ‘Esoteric Crisis Management’ course. Strategic Cunckery is undefeated."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the Strategic Cunckerymug. CunckWatch is the sacred, eternal duty of exposing HieroCuncks, Adeptus Cunckuses, and all other fraudulent esoteric gatekeepers who monetize mysticism while ghosting students, dodging refunds, and pretending their Dropbox links are divine revelations.
A CunckWatcher is a guardian of magical integrity, keeping an unflinching eye on the world of pay-to-pray grifting, hyper-politicized wizardry, and sanctimonious occult frauds who charge for access to "divine wisdom" while pretending to be above criticism.
CunckWatchers stand at the esoteric crossroads, torches in hand, ensuring that no spiritual con artist goes unmocked.
A CunckWatcher is a guardian of magical integrity, keeping an unflinching eye on the world of pay-to-pray grifting, hyper-politicized wizardry, and sanctimonious occult frauds who charge for access to "divine wisdom" while pretending to be above criticism.
CunckWatchers stand at the esoteric crossroads, torches in hand, ensuring that no spiritual con artist goes unmocked.
🔥 “CunckWatch never sleeps—if there’s an overpriced PDF and a sanctimonious guru behind it, we’re watching.”
🔥 “The HieroCunck thought his fraud would go unnoticed, but CunckWatch has receipts.”
🔥 “CunckWatch: Because someone needs to make sure the high priest of the PayPal Pantheon doesn’t keep getting away with it.”
🔥 “Our sacred duty at CunckWatch is simple—shine the torch, mock the frauds, and make sure no one ever pays $1,800 for an ‘initiation’ delivered via Dropbox ever again.”
🔥 “In the age of the HieroCunck, CunckWatch is the last line of defense.”
🔥 “The HieroCunck thought his fraud would go unnoticed, but CunckWatch has receipts.”
🔥 “CunckWatch: Because someone needs to make sure the high priest of the PayPal Pantheon doesn’t keep getting away with it.”
🔥 “Our sacred duty at CunckWatch is simple—shine the torch, mock the frauds, and make sure no one ever pays $1,800 for an ‘initiation’ delivered via Dropbox ever again.”
🔥 “In the age of the HieroCunck, CunckWatch is the last line of defense.”
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the CunckWatchmug. A HieroCunck is an occult grifter who appoints themselves as the divine gatekeeper of esoteric wisdom—not by mastery, but by monetization, ideological policing, and strategic ghosting.
They don’t just sell courses—they sell the illusion of gatekeeping the sacred. They speak in riddles, charge in installments, and rule their PayPal temple like an archmage of a digital theocracy. They market themselves as the enlightened few, yet their entire empire is built on Dropbox links, unanswered emails, and 3,000-word Facebook screeds, bookshelf selfies, and tarot collection flexing.
A Master HieroCunck:
✔ Turns divine knowledge into an infinite-tier business model.
✔ Claims ancient deities personally endorse their marketing strategy.
✔ Preaches liberation while enforcing strict ideological obedience.
✔ Polices the boundaries of “real” magic while blocking all criticism.
✔ Never engages in debate—only speaks in pronouncements.
✔ Ghosts students the moment they pay.
✔ Frames financial exploitation as “divine reciprocity” but offers no refunds.
✔ Has a devoted cult of sycophants who enforce their narrative for free.
They don’t just sell courses—they sell the illusion of gatekeeping the sacred. They speak in riddles, charge in installments, and rule their PayPal temple like an archmage of a digital theocracy. They market themselves as the enlightened few, yet their entire empire is built on Dropbox links, unanswered emails, and 3,000-word Facebook screeds, bookshelf selfies, and tarot collection flexing.
A Master HieroCunck:
✔ Turns divine knowledge into an infinite-tier business model.
✔ Claims ancient deities personally endorse their marketing strategy.
✔ Preaches liberation while enforcing strict ideological obedience.
✔ Polices the boundaries of “real” magic while blocking all criticism.
✔ Never engages in debate—only speaks in pronouncements.
✔ Ghosts students the moment they pay.
✔ Frames financial exploitation as “divine reciprocity” but offers no refunds.
✔ Has a devoted cult of sycophants who enforce their narrative for free.
"The HieroCunck claims to serve Hekate, but all she really does is collect tithes for her PayPal priesthood."
"The only initiation the HieroCunck offers is a Paywall Mysteries subscription—one that never ends."
"I questioned the sacred teachings of the HieroCunck and was told I was spiritually unworthy. Then I got an email upsell for the next course."
"The HieroCunck’s power is absolute—his followers will chant 'So true, master' even when he contradicts himself in back-to-back Facebook posts."
"The only initiation the HieroCunck offers is a Paywall Mysteries subscription—one that never ends."
"I questioned the sacred teachings of the HieroCunck and was told I was spiritually unworthy. Then I got an email upsell for the next course."
"The HieroCunck’s power is absolute—his followers will chant 'So true, master' even when he contradicts himself in back-to-back Facebook posts."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the HieroCunckmug. An Adeptus Cunckus is the final stage of an esoteric grifter, the highest rank in the Cunck Hierarchy, where self-importance, mystic branding, and neoliberal grandstanding merge into a fully realized fraud persona. They have spent decades in the occult scene, cultivating a veneer of expertise, but their true craft is financial alchemy—transmuting gullible followers into passive income streams.
An Adeptus Cunckus is defined by:
Triple-tiered PayPal wisdom, where every “course” is a gateway to even pricier “advanced” knowledge.
Hoarding tarot decks but ghosting students.
Doomposting about politics instead of answering emails.
Treating Facebook discourse like high ritual.
Screeching about ‘populist threats’ while simping for establishment gatekeepers.
Name-dropping respected occultists instead of producing anything original.
Framing their PayPal grift as a sacred calling.
An Adeptus Cunckus doesn’t practice magic—they monetize it. They’ve evolved past real sorcery, replacing it with PDF grimoires, livestream divinations, and esoteric think-piece subscriptions. Their most advanced spellwork is a recurring billing cycle.
Upon achieving full enlightenment, they stop answering students, honoring commitments, or pretending to care. Instead, they ghost followers while warning about right-wing threats to democracy, simping for James Carville and Michael Moore, and defending the integrity of the Soros dynasty.
An Adeptus Cunckus is defined by:
Triple-tiered PayPal wisdom, where every “course” is a gateway to even pricier “advanced” knowledge.
Hoarding tarot decks but ghosting students.
Doomposting about politics instead of answering emails.
Treating Facebook discourse like high ritual.
Screeching about ‘populist threats’ while simping for establishment gatekeepers.
Name-dropping respected occultists instead of producing anything original.
Framing their PayPal grift as a sacred calling.
An Adeptus Cunckus doesn’t practice magic—they monetize it. They’ve evolved past real sorcery, replacing it with PDF grimoires, livestream divinations, and esoteric think-piece subscriptions. Their most advanced spellwork is a recurring billing cycle.
Upon achieving full enlightenment, they stop answering students, honoring commitments, or pretending to care. Instead, they ghost followers while warning about right-wing threats to democracy, simping for James Carville and Michael Moore, and defending the integrity of the Soros dynasty.
"After years of grifting, ignoring his students, and ranting about politics, he finally ascended to the rank of Adeptus Cunckus."
"An Adeptus Cunckus doesn’t do real magic—he does three-card doom readings and PayPal-backed sigil courses."
"Once he started ghosting customers while screaming about the threat of populism, we knew he had reached the highest level: Adeptus Cunckus."
"The initiation rites into Adeptus Cunckus are simple—convince people you have secret knowledge, take their money, and vanish while ranting about how fascists have ruined esotericism."
"An Adeptus Cunckus doesn’t do real magic—he does three-card doom readings and PayPal-backed sigil courses."
"Once he started ghosting customers while screaming about the threat of populism, we knew he had reached the highest level: Adeptus Cunckus."
"The initiation rites into Adeptus Cunckus are simple—convince people you have secret knowledge, take their money, and vanish while ranting about how fascists have ruined esotericism."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the Adeptus Cunckusmug. The Cunckening is the inevitable downfall of an occult grifter, the moment when the PayPal veil is lifted, and the world finally sees them for what they are. It is the tipping point, the memetic flood, the great reckoning of those who peddle mysticism as a brand while delivering nothing but invoices and excuses.
A Cunckening happens when:
Their students realize they've been ghosted after paying hundreds (or thousands) for "advanced wisdom."
They get exposed for rebranding Wikipedia-tier knowledge as "initiatory secrets."
Their cult of personality starts fracturing because the grift is stretched too thin.
They pivot from sorcery to political ranting in an attempt to stay relevant.
The community turns on them, whispering the word in the shadows.
Once a Cunckening begins, there is no stopping it. No amount of damage control, Facebook essays, or limp-wristed defenses can reverse the process. Their reputation enters a death spiral, and the best they can do is cling to whatever remaining Patreon paypigs haven’t yet seen the light.
A Cunckening is not just a moment—it is a prophecy. The grift always collapses in the end.
The Cunckening: When the politics outpace the PayPal invoices.
A Cunckening happens when:
Their students realize they've been ghosted after paying hundreds (or thousands) for "advanced wisdom."
They get exposed for rebranding Wikipedia-tier knowledge as "initiatory secrets."
Their cult of personality starts fracturing because the grift is stretched too thin.
They pivot from sorcery to political ranting in an attempt to stay relevant.
The community turns on them, whispering the word in the shadows.
Once a Cunckening begins, there is no stopping it. No amount of damage control, Facebook essays, or limp-wristed defenses can reverse the process. Their reputation enters a death spiral, and the best they can do is cling to whatever remaining Patreon paypigs haven’t yet seen the light.
A Cunckening is not just a moment—it is a prophecy. The grift always collapses in the end.
The Cunckening: When the politics outpace the PayPal invoices.
"The Cunckening started when people realized he spent more time doomposting about MAGA than answering student emails."
"When an occultist starts posting 20 times a day about ‘the threat of rising fascism’ but still hasn’t delivered the course he promised six months ago, the Cunckening is upon him."
"You can always tell when a Cunckening is underway—first, the occult posts slow down. Then the MSNBC-tier rants take over. Next thing you know, he’s writing thousand-word screeds about ‘populist threats’ while the students who paid him are still waiting for access."
"By the time he claimed Trump was a Goetic demon and started live-posting his tarot spreads about the election, the Cunckening was already in full effect."
"The Facebook feed was a perfect timeline of a Cunckening: occult wisdom > overpriced courses > angry anti-populist rants > all caps posts about democracy itself being at stake > grifting off another cycle of crisis."
"He used to charge $1,000 for a ‘self-initiation’ course, but when the students realized he’d just copy-pasted The Kybalion, the Cunckening began."
"After years of grifting off esoteric Facebook groups, the Cunckening finally caught up to him when people started comparing his ‘original work’ to Wikipedia articles."
"At first, people dismissed the whispers, but by the time the Cunckening reached full force, the receipts were everywhere—PayPal transactions, ignored emails, and a trail of abandoned students who never got what they paid for."
"When an occultist starts posting 20 times a day about ‘the threat of rising fascism’ but still hasn’t delivered the course he promised six months ago, the Cunckening is upon him."
"You can always tell when a Cunckening is underway—first, the occult posts slow down. Then the MSNBC-tier rants take over. Next thing you know, he’s writing thousand-word screeds about ‘populist threats’ while the students who paid him are still waiting for access."
"By the time he claimed Trump was a Goetic demon and started live-posting his tarot spreads about the election, the Cunckening was already in full effect."
"The Facebook feed was a perfect timeline of a Cunckening: occult wisdom > overpriced courses > angry anti-populist rants > all caps posts about democracy itself being at stake > grifting off another cycle of crisis."
"He used to charge $1,000 for a ‘self-initiation’ course, but when the students realized he’d just copy-pasted The Kybalion, the Cunckening began."
"After years of grifting off esoteric Facebook groups, the Cunckening finally caught up to him when people started comparing his ‘original work’ to Wikipedia articles."
"At first, people dismissed the whispers, but by the time the Cunckening reached full force, the receipts were everywhere—PayPal transactions, ignored emails, and a trail of abandoned students who never got what they paid for."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025
Get the The Cunckeningmug.