Hand-shandy

A sexual act carried out by all classes of society amongst males of solitary habits upon their own loins, or by a female upon the loins of a male. It involves the manual manipulation of the male organ in order to achieve sexual solace. This practise is very common. It is believed that the term refers to the white froth found floating on a glass of shandy (an alcoholic fizzy drink comprised of beer and lemonaide) and the similarities between this foam and the effluxion of sexual fluid that occurs during the moment of male solace.
‘Bert couldn’t wait to get in the back seat with Edna. She asked him if he wanted a hand-shandy!’
by Colonel Barnaby February 15, 2023
Get the Hand-shandy mug.

Spunk bubble

A definition of a young man who sees himself as being superior to those of older rank. It refers to the young male as someone who was a mere bubble of ejeculate when older, superior males were forging their way in the world. It is a term of derision and resentment upon the youth of today, who see going to the toilet and eating as their sole achievements in life.
‘So, you think that you know it all! When I was fighting in the army you were nothing more than a spunk bubble, you worthless, drug-crazed , chromium-plated retard!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 23, 2023
Get the Spunk bubble mug.

Cock milking

This term is defined as the act of manual stimulation to the loins of a willing male - either by another male or a female. The loins of the male are stroked in a rhythmical fashion ; often from behind so as to resemble the milking of a bovine by a milking maiden. This results in a very pleasurable seminal emission by the male, usually captured in a tissue or some other receptacle.
‘Harold loves it when Maude has a go at cock milking. It gives him instant relief and means she can’t get pregnant!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 21, 2023
Get the Cock milking mug.

Frottaging

A type of perverted sexual solace performed by men against completely innocent members of the public, often in full view of their compatriots. It is normally associated with inverted men, but can also be performed by normal males against females. An inverted or normal man will select his frottaging ‘victim’ in, say, a crowded train, and approach them in as innocent a manner as possible. They will then rub their genital area or loins against them in an act of simulated sex before making off as quickly as possible. Most disgusting. Young ladies have also been victims to this disgraceful practice, and I urge you all to be very wary of young men who approach you in public areas!
‘Fred was bending over in the shop, tying his shoelaces, when a bloke came up behind him and started frottaging him, thrusting his loins against Fred’s bum. Fred turned around and the bloke made off like lightening.’
by Colonel Barnaby January 20, 2023
Get the Frottaging mug.

Invert

A polite term used in the 1950s and early 1960s to describe a male who is sexually attracted to his fellow men. It is a term that is rarely used today.
‘Lionel’s a fantastic hairdresser - he’s just a bit of an invert, that’s all! ‘
by Colonel Barnaby January 18, 2023
Get the Invert mug.

Coprolite

An archaeological term used to describe a fossilised piece of waste emitted from the rectum of an animal or human.
‘You are nothing more than a human coprolite, you worthless piece of dung!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
Get the Coprolite mug.

Cottaging

A term used by inverted men - both young and old- who like to frequent public lavatories (which they call ‘cottages’) in order to experience sexual solace.
‘Keep away from those toilets, Fred, it’s full of nine-bob-notes going cottaging!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 18, 2023
Get the Cottaging mug.