Briggsy Does Brighton

A legendary homosexual porno film starring gay artist Briggsy. The movie opens with Briggsy hitching a lift to England's gay capital in a caravan. On arrival he buggers his way through the city's gay clubs. A particularly memorable scene shows the arty dwarf bumming a Portuguese trans-sexual over a bar stool whilst a fruity-looking barman douses him with a soda syphon.

Fruity queen: So Briggsy, what title did you give your film in which you do Brighton? Something really clever?

Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"

by Colin Cummerbund December 09, 2006

Little Briggsy

An extremely irritating dwarf who is addicted to acne remedies and wanking to ABBA songs.

What do you call a deformed midget who cracks one off to "Dancing Queen"?

Little Briggsy?

You got it, Squire.

by Colin Cummerbund September 06, 2006

Briggsy's Kitchen

A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.

Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin?

Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.

by colin cummerbund May 09, 2009

Non-regulation head-shape

A head-type sported by many civil servants, particularly Natural England employees.

Who's that?

That's Fenton, the new boss.

But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.

Haven't they all?

by Colin Cummerbund September 20, 2006

Feldman frotteurism

A specialised form of frotteurism which is performed in art galleries during a busy exhibition. The Feldman frotteur will then scrape his secretions from his y-fronts and add them to his paints. Usually done by aging yellow-haired ex-hippies.

So why were you put on the sex offenders' register?

I was caught committing Feldman frotteurism.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006

Briggsy dogging

A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.

Oi queer boy. Why the big bike.

Oh, I'm off for a bit of Briggsy dogging in Clumber Park.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006

Doing a Searby

Going to the pub during your work lunch-break and consuming a meat pie and at least four pints of beer. The effect is doubled if the person doing a Searby has grey curly hair.

Oi, Dave. Are you going to the canteen for lunch?

No, I'm doing a Searby.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006