Colin Cummerbund's definitions
Briggsy: Why pay for vaseline when my beautiful face produces copious amounts of Briggsy's Special Lube free of charge?
by Colin Cummerbund October 18, 2006
Get the Briggsy's Special Lubemug. A hearty meal served in gay bars. Usually consists of a lump of mature nob cheese with arse pickle, thickly-sliced bread and pork pie with semen relish. Regional variations can include a rats-cock side dish with diarrhoea drizzle.
Come on Quentin, let's go to The Pink Dildo for a Briggsy Ploughman's. I'm bloody starving after that rimming session.
by Colin Cummerbund September 18, 2006
Get the Briggsy Ploughman'smug. What do you call a deformed midget who cracks one off to "Dancing Queen"?
Little Briggsy?
You got it, Squire.
Little Briggsy?
You got it, Squire.
by Colin Cummerbund September 6, 2006
Get the Little Briggsymug. The act of trawling arty pubs for munters. The artist will chat up the munter then take her back to his place for deviant sex. In most cases the munter weighs well over 250 pounds.
by Colin Cummerbund September 20, 2006
Get the Briggsymuntingmug. Who's that?
That's Fenton, the new boss.
But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.
Haven't they all?
That's Fenton, the new boss.
But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.
Haven't they all?
by Colin Cummerbund September 20, 2006
Get the Non-regulation head-shapemug. A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".
That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
Get the Briggsy spankingmug. An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.
Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
by Colin Cummerbund December 14, 2006
Get the Briggsy Prizemug.