Definitions by Col. Hans Landa

eleventh hour friendship 

n., a friendship formed at the last minute, usually because a common means of communication is going to expire. Eleventh hour friendships are commonly formed at the end of grade school, high school, college, and periods of employment with a specific employer. The term comes from the "eleventh hour", i.e. the last possible time.

Joe: "I didn't know Bob was friends with Tim. They never hung out in high school."
Jack: "It was an eleventh hour friendship - they literally only got to know each other after graduation."

eleventh hour friendship by Col. Hans Landa December 28, 2011

friendometer 

A very rough scale, usually used in jest, to establish how close you are with a given individual. The friendometer is divided into two sections, acquaintances and friends, which have more specific categories within them:

ACQUAINTANCES

Weak Acquaintance - someone you know by name, and will say hello to

Strong Acquaintance - same as above, may have brief conversation. Friends-of-friends and friends-by-association usually fall into this category

FRIENDS
Weak friend - can have brief, meaningful conversation with, but see rarely. Some friends-by-association can be this.

Friend - the average, you can hang out with this person and have normal, graceful conversation.

Good friend - someone who you chill with a lot and have meaningful conversation

Close friend - someone who you always want to hang out with and can tell almost anything to

Best friend - someone who you would sacrifice a lot for, who you admire and love deeply, and to whom you can tell anything about your life; usually you have 5 or 6 best friends in the whole world, including family members

The friendometer is helpful when trying to assess one's closeness to someone, but obviously like all scales cannot completely describe the way the world operates.

friendometer by Col. Hans Landa November 15, 2011

vote whore 

n.; a politician who will say, do, and/or promise anything to get more votes. In reality, most elected officials are like this, but the one who does it most obviously is the one who's called a vote whore.

"I was gonna vote for Mitt Romney, but when he flip-flopped on the tax issue just because he realized most people were against it, I went with Parry. What a vote whore."

vote whore by Col. Hans Landa November 11, 2011

shooting the sheriff 

v., when someone who's already up shit creek alienates or insults somebody who honestly could have helped them get back to shore. Essentially, burning bridges with regards to people.

Guy 1: "Hey man, how did your meeting with the RA go today? Did you get out of the alcohol warning?"
Guy 2: "No man, I told her she looked sexy in her dress, and she wrote me up for sexual harassment too."
Guy 1: "Wow man, you really like shooting the sheriff, huh?"

shooting the sheriff by Col. Hans Landa November 8, 2011

dead pocket 

noun; in pool, a pocket where the eight ball has been inadvertently set up early in the game. This essentially means that all other object balls must be deflected from this area to prevent either player from pocketing the eight ball too early and losing the game.

Tony cleverly turned the right corner into a dead pocket, preventing John from scoring on the next shot.

dead pocket by Col. Hans Landa October 25, 2011

to hilltop 

v., coll.; to get drunk on a Sunday night, or, more loosely, at any time when being intoxicated is completely uncalled for. Its origin is unknown.

Joe: "Dude, you nearly fell over that chair! Are you wasted?"
Dale: "Yeah mane, I decided to hilltop tonight bro." (vomits)

to hilltop by Col. Hans Landa October 23, 2011

straw poll

An extremely unorganized form of voting, usually used by self-appointed leaders when they don't have the desire to actually consider what the group wants but need to make it look like it was a majority decision.

Intramural captain: "Okay dudes, who can make it Monday to practice? Quick straw poll!" (two people out of thirty raise their hands)
Captain: "Monday it is!"
Guy #1: "90% didn't vote."
(Captain shoots Guy #1 in the face.)

straw poll by Col. Hans Landa October 4, 2011