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Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

tool

There are several defining traits of a tool; if one or more of these characteristics apply to you, then you are a tool.

1. You often feel used by your "friends", who usually make fun of you to both to your face and behind your back, but act polite if you have something they want. Of course, because you're desperate to be accepted, you give it to them.

2. You buy into whatever trend seems in at the moment because you have no identity or sense of pride. If you're emo, pass out at parties after 4 drinks to show off to people that you're drunk, or wear a pink shirt with the collar popped in a vain attempt to appear "secure with your masculinity", then you're a tool and haven't realized it yet.

3. You listen to Tool and think they are the pinnacle of musical talent because they call themselves "prog", but are actually boring and mediocre.
Go back to your toolboxes, you poseurs.
by Chernorizets Hrabr December 28, 2005
mugGet the toolmug.

MTV

If you like MTV in its current incarnation, you are one of the following:

1.) An emo/punk fag
2.) A wannabe "thug"
3.) The only person on the planet that likes U2
4.) A preppy girl who looks up to Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and JoJo.

There are many problems that people have with mTV nowadays; their constant playing of re-runs (usually of The Real World or Battle of the Sexes part MCLXVII), the fact that they barely ever play music anymore, and when they do, it's just shitty emo or some played-out rapper like Jay-Z. They are also way too concerned about you voting (for Kerry, anyway) and took all of their decent shows off the network like Jackass, Wildboys, and... huh, I guess that's it.
MTV is so bad nowadays that people are starting to miss Nu-Metal.
by Chernorizets Hrabr December 5, 2004
mugGet the MTVmug.

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.
I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004
mugGet the Clear Eyesmug.

ORLANDO BLOOM

Someone that none of you fat, ugly, ditzy schoolgirls will ever have a chance with. If I were him I'd carry that bow around to fend you losers off. Leave the poor guy alone.
Orlando Bloom can do 200x better than you and he will.
by Chernorizets Hrabr July 6, 2004
mugGet the ORLANDO BLOOMmug.

Aragorn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn (quite possibly the coolest name ever) is the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. He is one of the Dunedain, a subrace of humans blessed with long life. Aragorn is 87 years old when he takes the throne, but he looks like he's about 33. That's how cool he is. In fact, all the chicks love Aragorn more than Legolas. This is scientific proof that Viggo Mortensen, who played Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is cooler than Orlando Bloom. Aragorn also smokes weed, though just about every character in the story does except pussy Frodo. It is widely believed that Aragorn is the coolest guy in Middle Earth, especially because he got with Liv Tyler.
Every man in the world who knows who Aragorn is wishes to be him.
by Chernorizets Hrabr August 20, 2004
mugGet the Aragornmug.

Ralph Nader

The guy that my fellow Americans should have voted for, but apparently they don't have enough common sense to see what kind of damage is being done to our country by the divisive two-party system. An honest and real candidate who cares about domestic concerns that Bush and Kerry seem to have forgotten about in favor of fear-mongering, focusing on the so-called "threat" of terrorism.
Ralph has my vote, no matter the odds!
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004
mugGet the Ralph Nadermug.

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.
It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004
mugGet the Independentmug.

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