Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

Clay Aiken

The guy who didn't win American Idol simply because Ruben is black. Face it, it's the truth. Now, I'm not a fan of either of them OR the show itself, but listen to Ruben's songs and then Clay's songs and honestly try to tell me with a straight face that Ruben deserved to win. Incidentally, the black community recently accused American Idol of being "racist" and "discriminatory" despite the fact that 2 out of three winners were black. Bullshit. "Sorry for 2004"? How bout "Sorry for rigging the contest"?

If not for Affirmitive Action, Clay Aiken would have won American Idol.

by Chernorizets Hrabr February 11, 2005

Ralph Nader

The guy that my fellow Americans should have voted for, but apparently they don't have enough common sense to see what kind of damage is being done to our country by the divisive two-party system. An honest and real candidate who cares about domestic concerns that Bush and Kerry seem to have forgotten about in favor of fear-mongering, focusing on the so-called "threat" of terrorism.

Ralph has my vote, no matter the odds!

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.

I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

ORLANDO BLOOM

Someone that none of you fat, ugly, ditzy schoolgirls will ever have a chance with. If I were him I'd carry that bow around to fend you losers off. Leave the poor guy alone.

Orlando Bloom can do 200x better than you and he will.

by Chernorizets Hrabr July 6, 2004

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.

It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004

Aragorn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn (quite possibly the coolest name ever) is the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. He is one of the Dunedain, a subrace of humans blessed with long life. Aragorn is 87 years old when he takes the throne, but he looks like he's about 33. That's how cool he is. In fact, all the chicks love Aragorn more than Legolas. This is scientific proof that Viggo Mortensen, who played Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is cooler than Orlando Bloom. Aragorn also smokes weed, though just about every character in the story does except pussy Frodo. It is widely believed that Aragorn is the coolest guy in Middle Earth, especially because he got with Liv Tyler.

Every man in the world who knows who Aragorn is wishes to be him.

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 20, 2004

Ganondorf

Semi-famous villain from the Nintendo 64 adventure, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. Ganondorf has an exceptionally unique case of unibrow, in which his eyebrows connect clearly with his hair, thus forming one very long eyebrow. This puts the typical unibrow (one that connects in the middle of one's face above the nose) to shame.

Ganondorf was one of the most easily-defeated bosses in the history of video games.

by Chernorizets Hrabr October 5, 2004