Chango Bolamongo's definitions

blang

Secondhand (used or stolen) bling;
Commonplace bling; Tired, outdated bling;
Scratch, dent or crack damaged closeout bling;
Knock-off, wanna-be bling from the 99c Store.

Like costume jewelry, it don't spark and catch the eye;
but with dark glasses, you pimpin',

PAUL CROUCH ON TBN: "Mr. T why don't you wear all those gold chains that you are known for anymore? You look 50 pounds lighter!"

MR. T: Well, Paul, after I saw all the sufferin' in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I decided right then that bling was BLANG. I couldn't flaunt my wealth in the face of all that suffering."

(Besides, them niggas'll kill ya.)

by Chango Bolamongo October 9, 2006

I'M your daddy

The obvious answer to the question, "Who's your daddy?"

MARVIN: "WHO'S yor daddy ?!"
UD USER #40923.3: "Son, I always meant to tell you, I'M YOUR DADDY."

NANCY: "WHO'S ya daddy.(?)
UD USER #35013.6: Baby, I'M YO DADDY. Lemme show you the family jewels.

BOBBY KNIGHT: "Hoosier daddy!"
MENTAL WARD ORDERLY: "Alright Mr. Knight, here's your medication. I need you to keep your outbursts under control. Now, let's all have a good Knight." (under breath:) "I'M Y'DADDY and don't you forget it!"

by Chango Bolamongo October 7, 2006

resist the urge

Just say, NO!
Avoid the temptation
Relax, don't do it ...
Take a cold shower.
Mebbe later.

"John Mark Karl, the despicable human being that he is, was able to RESIST THE URGE ( if you believe even a shred of his horrible claim to have been 'present when JonBenet Ramsey died'."

"We must RESIST THE URGE to enact laws criminalizing fraudulent confession hoaxes or alleged "intentions of evil".

But killing civilians in 'holy war' and disturbing the peace of innocent minds by systematically causing injury of threat or terror, should be quashed by the fullest extent of all civilized law and power. ...

"We've RESISTED THE URGE for long enough. I say 'NUKEM'.",

by Chango Bolamongo October 9, 2006

I'm LeBron James, Bitch!

Update of Dave Chappelle's comedic punchline:

"I'm Rick James, Bitch!"

As with the best of quips, the original has lost its blang due to overuse and abuse by unfunny party parrots and new subscribers to the Comedy Channel.

BALLER WANNABE: "I'M LeBRON JAMES, BITCH!"
OPPONENT: "And I just dunked on your ass, LeBron James Bitch!"

by Chango Bolamongo October 9, 2006

rejectified

How I feel every time my definition is << CANCELLED >> before even reviewed by UD editors. I must say, it's mad agony and 'disdress'.

Dejected, put down, not accepted, excluded ... REJECTED, that's it.
Yet the trauma left me in shock -- electrocuted, no electrifried.

"I was so devastatingly REJECTIFIED that my doctor prescribed me Klonopin and Celebrex."

by Chango Bolamongo October 7, 2006

misillusioned

After much experience with rejection, frustration, disappointment, and betrayal one may achieve this enlightened perspective.
No longer shall this one be as gullible in being fooled by deceptions (smoke and mirrors; promises and lies) as the brain is thereon conditioned to "miss' the illusion.

"Now that I'm sufficiently MISILLUSIONED I hopefully won't get fooled again."
"Sadly, however, the down side to being MISILLUSIONED is distrust and paranoia."

by Chango Bolamongo October 7, 2006

swirled peas

A veritable vision of vegetable vortex is all I saw in my head ...

when I contemplated the bumper sticker sermon plastered before my face on this miserably sweltering backed-up freeway that dog-day afternoon.

It read: "Visualize WORLD PEACE !!!!!!!"

"I could much more easily imagine a green tornado of PEAS twisting a funnel on the horizon than I can picture Islamo-Fascists laying down their arms."

FATHER FIGURE: "Son, why are you convulsing ?! What's wrong?"
KID IN "THE SIXTH SENSE" MOVIE: "I see ... SWIRLED PEAS ... and ...
(whisper:) I see dead people."

by Chango Bolamongo October 9, 2006