Baby gorillas, whom, because of their small and morbidly obese build, became perfect subjects for a top secret experiment dubbed, "teletubbies".
Kidnapped from their native habitat, they were strapped down hooting and screaming onto operation tables. Their stomachs were removed and replaced with a crude malfunctioning television set, which recieved its signals from a implanted attenna on the top of its head. Because the attenna's reciever must be outside of the body, a hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making a pathway to stick the electrical equipment through. Unfortunately, this only resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.
To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet consisting of purified ethanol (tubby toast), and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed. A fake sun watches over them with a ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the escapee by devouring it with it's mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's remains as fertilizer for the vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.
Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to recieve radio waves with their broken attennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by the simplest tasks we can do, such as showering or cooking an egg.
Kidnapped from their native habitat, they were strapped down hooting and screaming onto operation tables. Their stomachs were removed and replaced with a crude malfunctioning television set, which recieved its signals from a implanted attenna on the top of its head. Because the attenna's reciever must be outside of the body, a hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making a pathway to stick the electrical equipment through. Unfortunately, this only resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.
To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet consisting of purified ethanol (tubby toast), and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed. A fake sun watches over them with a ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the escapee by devouring it with it's mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's remains as fertilizer for the vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.
Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to recieve radio waves with their broken attennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by the simplest tasks we can do, such as showering or cooking an egg.
by Chang Tan September 02, 2004
Somebody who repeatily "rapes" a game environment of all its fun and dignity, ruining the game for anyone else. Mostly found in RPGs, they are likely banning targets, unless they are really frickin crafty, in which they blame somebody else instead, and they get banned.
When that snert on Asherons Call said I stole its ultimate quiddity orb of infinite lightning although he is in no shape of a level to actually hold such a "about-to-be-nerfed" item, I was banned, forever. Stupid snerts.
by Chang Tan October 26, 2003
A coven of random dorks, either organized locally, as close friends and neighbors, or globally, like halfway across the world.
Their mission? To ruin the fun of casual gamers in mainly FPS shooters like Counter-Strike, Quake, Unreal, etc.
Hours of play behind the screen has given their skin a unhealthy pale complexion.
A common hypothesis for these formations of these "clans", as they may call it, stemmed probably from neglected parenthood.
Their mission? To ruin the fun of casual gamers in mainly FPS shooters like Counter-Strike, Quake, Unreal, etc.
Hours of play behind the screen has given their skin a unhealthy pale complexion.
A common hypothesis for these formations of these "clans", as they may call it, stemmed probably from neglected parenthood.
Casual Gamer (joined a CS server): "Hi!"
Klanner #1: "STFU N00b! We r teh l33t0rz to teh maxx0rz!"
Klanner #2: "Ya u gay azz fagg0t!"
20 minutes later...
Klanner #1: "Omgz! Lolz! Teh fag0rt has 15-30 kills! Banz!"
Admin: "Bye faggot"
Innocent casual gamer gets a kickban...
Klanner #1: "STFU N00b! We r teh l33t0rz to teh maxx0rz!"
Klanner #2: "Ya u gay azz fagg0t!"
20 minutes later...
Klanner #1: "Omgz! Lolz! Teh fag0rt has 15-30 kills! Banz!"
Admin: "Bye faggot"
Innocent casual gamer gets a kickban...
by Chang Tan December 21, 2004
Asian guy who hates his own race, his family, his culture, and especially himself.
He yearns for surgical treatments to change his eyelid shape, and uses dyes to change his skin and hair coloration. Blue eyed pupils and natural blond hair are widely desired, but futile in effort (Dr Mengele experimented with changing pupil coloration by injecting ink with fatal results).
His greatest dream is complete genetic modifcation, cleansing himself of his hereditary curse so that he may produce more children embracing wonderous western customs.
Note that the banana (preferred over the less macho Twinkie), would never touch or own anything Asian. For it he had control of his well-earned money (his family would often shake every cent out of him before he can spend it), he would buy domestic products: American made Hummer H1, Ford/Dodge/Chevy trucks (preferably Cummins/Duramax Diesel engine), and order rectangular pizza over the phone, with the sauces and toppings arranged in a way that it resembles the American flag.
He yearns for surgical treatments to change his eyelid shape, and uses dyes to change his skin and hair coloration. Blue eyed pupils and natural blond hair are widely desired, but futile in effort (Dr Mengele experimented with changing pupil coloration by injecting ink with fatal results).
His greatest dream is complete genetic modifcation, cleansing himself of his hereditary curse so that he may produce more children embracing wonderous western customs.
Note that the banana (preferred over the less macho Twinkie), would never touch or own anything Asian. For it he had control of his well-earned money (his family would often shake every cent out of him before he can spend it), he would buy domestic products: American made Hummer H1, Ford/Dodge/Chevy trucks (preferably Cummins/Duramax Diesel engine), and order rectangular pizza over the phone, with the sauces and toppings arranged in a way that it resembles the American flag.
by Chang Tan July 11, 2005
The deathbed of old people. They check in, they never check out. Before they finally draw their last breath, they are required to live a life of incredible dullness, due to health complications of old folks.
"I'm 60 years old, nothing to do here but to play checkers and eat old corn cobblers, because ham hurts my teeth and bread clogs my arteries."
Heartbeat monitor goes dead...
"Oh dang..."
Heartbeat monitor goes dead...
"Oh dang..."
by Chang Tan December 30, 2004
Life draining computer game, players who play it often found themselves devoid of a life, girlfriend, or any other monument of their terrible social abilities.
Gamers ditches school just to spend hours searching of the Ultra Nuklear Oculous of Unanimous Kickass (+2 Skills +3x Immunity to Cold +2000 Magic Damage +Guaranteed Drop of Uniques), rumored to be hidden in a dung sample dropped from Baal's swollen sphinchter.
Gamers ditches school just to spend hours searching of the Ultra Nuklear Oculous of Unanimous Kickass (+2 Skills +3x Immunity to Cold +2000 Magic Damage +Guaranteed Drop of Uniques), rumored to be hidden in a dung sample dropped from Baal's swollen sphinchter.
Diablo 2 Gamer: "OMGz! I just found myself a bitchin' 75x FCR Sorc Ring with 800% Magic Find! God I'm so fucking tired...."
Straight-Thinking Kid: "Neat, I got laid twelve times today. Cool huh? My schlong hurts bad though"
Diablo 2 Gamer: "Haha! You faggot, you got a small dick. Gayass"
Diablo 2 Gamers spasms violently on the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, then dies from a seizure.
Straight-Thinking Kid: "Neat, I got laid twelve times today. Cool huh? My schlong hurts bad though"
Diablo 2 Gamer: "Haha! You faggot, you got a small dick. Gayass"
Diablo 2 Gamers spasms violently on the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, then dies from a seizure.
by Chang Tan March 13, 2005
A urban male whose dreams of his future are waaaay off, and because of this and his lazy assed habits in school, he resorts to making multiple girlfriends dress up in hooker clothes and go out to the streets to "make money". The ladies get the HIV, and the pimp gets all the money. A fair trade indeed...
Being a proper pimp means you better keep your clients from disrespecting your "bitches". Otherwise, if you go easy on em, other pimps and even your "bitches" itself will try to fuck you over and take over your "pimpin terroritory".
by Chang Tan January 01, 2004