Carl Willis's definitions

hole hair

n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.

After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.

by Carl Willis August 29, 2005

klucker

n. (Klux + -er): 1. A member of the Ku Klux Klan. 2. Used pejoratively, a white American who is perceived to be bigoted, particularly in matters of black / white racial integration.

Look at that old klucker up on the courthouse steps, bawling his head off about "them nigras."

by Carl Willis May 13, 2005

slumming

n. The act of touring through the poor side of town to gawk and make fun of the inhabitants there, usually with a group of one's friends. Notably an activity of insecure rich white kids.

Matt: Hey Jimmie, you wanna cut out after school in my dad's Hummer and do some slumming?

Jim: Hell yeah! I love knowing that there's plenty of trash out there to keep the burgers flippin'.

by Carl Willis July 22, 2004

differently abled

adj. Politically correct 1990s euphemism meaning "disabled". Contrary to what the words may suggest, "differently abled" does NOT mean "having different abilities;" more precisely it means "lacking expected abilities." Since mental disability is generally associated with much more social stigma than physical disability (and hence is ripe for being described by a "sensitive" PC vocabulary), "differently abled" is most frequently encountered in similar contexts as "special". With this in mind, persons of non-retarded status should construe the phrase as a deep insult.

What the teacher thinks: "Goddamn, that was funny! Why do they insist on mainstreaming these plainly retarded kids...they're so distracting to my class..."

What the teacher says: "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves for laughing when our differently abled peers gave their fine interpretation of Hamlet."

by Carl Willis January 18, 2005

The Big Dog

Proper noun. The 42nd President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. This nickname speaks to Clinton's continuing political clout, reputation for deftness and skill as a politician, and vaunted ability to campaign for Democratic candidates. If you can't run with The Big Dog, you need to stay on the porch, motherfucker!

"Down in the polls, Lieberman tried to call in The Big Dog to rescue his moribund campaign against Lamont. Problem is, The Big Dog only supports Democrats."

by Carl Willis October 24, 2006

doin' they thang

Going about their personal business.

Antwaine and Shamiqua is doin' they own thang tonight, know'um sayin'?

Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.

by Carl Willis February 10, 2004

redneck truck

n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:

(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.

(2) Equipped with a gun rack

(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.

(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.

(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.

(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.

(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.

Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.

by Carl Willis September 4, 2005