Skip to main content

Carl J. Maltese's definitions

United Provinces of America

From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
mugGet the United Provinces of Americamug.

Betz

"I dare to shout 'Betz!' the spoken name of the Ultimate Evil! I dare not ever utter It's Unspeakable Name, It's Unspoken Name, It's True Name!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
mugGet the Betzmug.
What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
mugGet the should have polished the woodmug.

Civil Air Patrol

See: Wannabe's.
See also: Over-privledged high school boys; Overzealous subscriber to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine; Weekend paintballer with too much free time.
"Tony joind the Civil Air Patrol because he was too old for the Boy Scouts and too young for the Air Force. What a lame-ass wannabe!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 20, 2007
mugGet the Civil Air Patrolmug.

Oceania

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984."
Oceania consists of North and South America, Austrailia, New Zealand, some of the Pacific islands, all the Atlantic islands--including the British Isles-- and South Africa. The British Isles are known as "Airstrip 1."
"One was expected to stand at attention when 'Oceania 'tis for thee' played over the telescreen..."
by Carl J. Maltese April 14, 2007
mugGet the Oceaniamug.

taser

Although the word "taser" is not an acronym, one particular model is labeled as: TActical System of Electrical Response.
Sort of completes the pantheon of great acronyms. Or somthing like that.
Scenario 1-
Police Officer: "Halt eveil-doer, lest I be forced to use my TActical System of Elictrical Rosponse upon ye!"

Criminal: "Huh?"

Scenario 2:

Police officer: "Freeze scumbag!!" -sound of taser firing-

Criminal: "AAAaaagghhhh!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 29, 2007
mugGet the tasermug.

tea dumping psychos

One of the many colourful slang terms that the British have for Americans.
"The damn tea dumping psychos! Five-thousand-pounds worth of tea thrown right off the bloody ships! The bloody crates are all completley soaked through, making the tea totally unfit for drinking. Even for Americans."
by Carl J. Maltese April 1, 2007
mugGet the tea dumping psychosmug.

Share this definition