Captain jack mehoff 's definitions

Update Day

The one day, usually every month or so, where you finally crack, and update Adobe, Itunes, Steam, and a bunch of other crap all day. Basically renders your computer useless if you are using anything but solitaire.

God dammit! iTunes wants me too update! And Steam too! I guess it is update day again.

by Captain Jack Mehoff April 13, 2013

Pintocorn

Unicorn with 5 horns. Coined by famous young comedian Bo Burnham in the opening of his Comedy special "What." before he mercilessly shoots it to death with an invisible pistol. Great special.

The Pintocorn then said, "Hi Bo."

Pintocorns are the ultimate Unicorn.

by Captain Jack Mehoff January 2, 2014

Frost the Cookie

A game in which a group of males sit in a circle and masturbate furiously onto a cookie in the middle. The premise is that whoever ejaculates last onto the cookie or doesn't finish at all has to eat the seminal fluid covered cookie by the previous contestants. Named "Frost the Cookie" because of the white color of semen on the cookie.

I cannot wait to play "Frost the Cookie" at the frat party today!

by Captain Jack Mehoff February 4, 2014

Wi-Fight

Common in apartments where individuals have their own Wi-Fi networks. Wi-Fights are usually started by one person using someone else's unsecured Wi-Fi network. The opposing parties then engage in verbal debate by changing their Wi-Fi network name's to words of dialogue for the other one sees when they view Wi-Fi connections around them. Originally coined by CollegeHumor

Excerpt from a Wi-Fight:

------------------------
im using edward to torrent porn
LINKSYS
038783001
edward
Winternet is Coming
--------------------------
--------------------------
im using edward to torrent porn
LINKSYS
038783001
hah suck on my secure connection
Guys please stop fighting
--------------------------
--------------------------
Whatever you iTunes library sucked
LINKSYS
038783001
you got a problem with the DMB?
Seriously come on stop
--------------------------
--------------------------
Yeah it stands for Dis Music Blows
LINKSYS
038783001
WHERE THE F**K DO YOU LIVE
Just take a deep breath man
--------------------------

by Captain Jack Mehoff June 10, 2014

Retweetonitis

A social-media disorder in which none of the person's tweets are interesting, so they constantly retweeting annoying/irrelevant/unfunny things, unknowingly ruining all of their follower's timelines.

Person 1: Darnit, I am unfollowing Jessica, she retweets way to much!
Person 2: Sounds like she has a bad case of Retweetonitis.

by Captain Jack Mehoff September 6, 2014

Homecoming Horny

Applying to High School, Homecoming Horny is the event when girls who have not been asked to homecoming yet (no boyfriend, ugly, ect) start becoming increasingly slutty to anyone and everyone around them in an attempt to get someone to ask them to homecoming.

Guy 1: Has anyone else been getting tons of nudes from Sarah?
Guy 2: Yeah, we all have, she is seriously Homecoming Horny right now.

by Captain Jack Mehoff September 24, 2014

Helping Dora Over

2 or more illegal aliens working as a team to cross the border.

"Ok, Jose. The plans are set, and tonight, we together will be helping dora over."

by Captain Jack Mehoff December 15, 2012