Captain Zap's definitions

special medicine

Administered to ladies by a man. Suitable for all ailments. Comes in a one-shot pump dispenser.

Lady "Not tonight Reginald, I have a headache"
Man "Not to worry dear, have some special medicine ... " zip ... BOING

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

spiders legs

Stray pubic hairs of impressive length escaping from the sides of an undergarment, e.g. swimsuit
see also beetle bonnet

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

spunk trumpet

As in "How pet, do you like music? Fancy doing a Dizzy Gilespie on me spunk trumpet then?"

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

concrete breaker

my mate Mickey's vibrator. Capable of disrupting tv reception for 100 feet. May come in hand if your house is accidentally buried in concrete and you need to go to the corner shop for a slab of miller.

Mickey "Fancy a bit tonight darlin"
Female "Maybe"
Mickey "Good cos ive charged the batteries for the concrete breaker"

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

Gulp roll

Absorbent tissue used to catch the ejaculate after a wafty crank. A large amount of used gulp roll can be found under my mate Mickeys bed. Possibly toxic.

Oh Lordy, Im almost at the vinegar strokes, get ready with the gulp roll!

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

cackybag

Derogatory. Small child.

Her "Wouldnt it be nice if we had a baby, Gerald?"
Him "Bloody hell Margaret what do you want a whinging little cackybag for?"

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003

blonde moment

What my wife has when she puts my dinner in the oven and FORGETS TO TURN IT ON.

Her "Here, its a bit dark this night-time business isnt it"
Him "Er... obviously - you having a Blonde moment or something?"

by Captain Zap September 29, 2003