CapTim 's definitions
An audition for a role in a film/play/band that is not based on the quality of actual performance, but rather on the quality of sexual favors provided to secure said role.
Jamie's such a hottie that we allowed her to whoredition for the band, even though everyone knows she can't sing to save her soul.
by CapTim March 18, 2009
 Get the whoreditionmug.
Get the whoreditionmug. I luddered when Mandy told me that her balls were on fire . (Purely 'cos she is so manly that she might *just* actually have a pair... and that's something I REALLY don't want to think about.)
by CapTim March 28, 2008
 Get the luddermug.
Get the luddermug. A non-verbal chiding or tirade usually delivered via email or sms, often used to re-invigorate or re-align the recipient.
Bobby has not been pulling his weight recently so as his boss I sent him a textslap via company email.
by CapTim June 29, 2009
 Get the textslapmug.
Get the textslapmug. A combination of "diesel" and "hybrid"; referring to an upcoming trend amongst fuel-economy obsessed auto manufacturers of creating hybrid diesel / electric drivetrains.
Both technologies are not known for their exciting driving characteristics, so essentially a diesel / electric hybrid is where traditional (petrol-driven) performance motoring goes to die.
Both technologies are not known for their exciting driving characteristics, so essentially a diesel / electric hybrid is where traditional (petrol-driven) performance motoring goes to die.
Man, if they continue developing diebrids they'll take all the joy out of motoring... it's enough to make any petrolhead sick to the stomach.
by CapTim January 7, 2010
 Get the Diebridmug.
Get the Diebridmug. A short story writing technique that uses the absolute minimum amount of written words to support and convey maximum meaning.
The word stems from a portmanteau of the words "skeleton" and "text", where the 'skeleton' is the minimum amount of support a human body needs, and 'text' referencing the written format.
The word stems from a portmanteau of the words "skeleton" and "text", where the 'skeleton' is the minimum amount of support a human body needs, and 'text' referencing the written format.
Have you read those Jimmy TwoTone stories yet? It's as if entire story has been stripped-down to a skeleton made purely out of words; I believe it's called "skeletext".
by CapTim May 22, 2009
 Get the skeletextmug.
Get the skeletextmug. The absolute opposite of a hot receptionist/secretary. 
A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.
A secretary so unappealing that not only would you never dare consider risking your job for sexual relations with her, but you're completely put off the entire female gender every time you pass her desk.
The fantasy Jim had been having involving Angelina Jolie, a desert island and a sack of viagra was completely nullified when he walked past his contraceptionist's desk.
by CapTim January 25, 2008
 Get the contraceptionistmug.
Get the contraceptionistmug. A: Someone who has an unnatural penchant for wearing Speedo style swimming trunks. Usually resulting in them looking rather dodgy.
B: Someone with a large collection of Speedo style swimming trunks.
B: Someone with a large collection of Speedo style swimming trunks.
A:
Guy1: See that guy over there?
Guy2: The one with the handlebar mustache and the supertight Speedo?
Guy1: Ya! Creeepy!
Guy2: Damn, he looks like a Speedophile!
B:
Guy1: Damn! That creep has a different color Speedo for each day of the week!
Guy2: Damn speedophile!
Guy1: See that guy over there?
Guy2: The one with the handlebar mustache and the supertight Speedo?
Guy1: Ya! Creeepy!
Guy2: Damn, he looks like a Speedophile!
B:
Guy1: Damn! That creep has a different color Speedo for each day of the week!
Guy2: Damn speedophile!
by CapTim March 7, 2008
 Get the speedophilemug.
Get the speedophilemug.