C Tan's definitions
Modern pop culture does not hate it because its "boring", they hate the people who listen to it because it makes themselves feel "smart" and "deep".
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Upon posting this definition of "classical music", a ragtag lynch mob composed of angry college professors, browbeaten Asians with violins, and dweeby bookworms has assembled before my home half a second later to have me tarred and feathered.
by C Tan May 9, 2006
Get the Classical Music mug.Something that racial-fascists are sensitive to. Whiny minorities fail to realize that they themselves maintain ethnic barriers, due to their chronic bitching about offensive racial jibes. Taking stereotypes too seriously just draws more clear boundaries between ethnic groups.
News reporter: Highway traffic crawled down to 25 mph today after several Asian street racers induced a severe automobile logjam at the Route 15 off ramp due to bad driving. Wait, we have a caller.
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
by C Tan December 28, 2005
Get the stereotype mug.Monosodium Glutamate, the brainchild of a top-secret Oriental-sponsored military project to render white people bald, fat, and impotent for the impending yellow invasion commencing in the 22nd Century.
Adding MSG to common foods found in your local Ranch 99 market was not difficult, since Monosodium Glutamate is practically the only thing in Oriental cuisine ("Chinese food") that tastes good to non-Asians.
Adding MSG to common foods found in your local Ranch 99 market was not difficult, since Monosodium Glutamate is practically the only thing in Oriental cuisine ("Chinese food") that tastes good to non-Asians.
by C Tan July 12, 2006
Get the msg mug.Where a bunch of stupid teenagers try to race by singeing off all of their pubic hairs with Tabasco Sauce.
Hey lets have a Tabasco Challenge!
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
by C Tan October 2, 2007
Get the Tabasco Challenge mug.Tasty looking things, without a proper definite size, usually they can range from narrow and long, to miniscule and round. This gives me the impression that Cheetos are just made from the dough-runoffs of other snack food brands, so the makers can just make some extra money.
Manager: The immigrant workers have been complaining about constantly scooping off the excess dough from the cutouts of our Doritos brand.
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
by C Tan April 14, 2006
Get the cheetos mug.A course lecturing in the virtues of yellow supremacy, and the delusional outlook on how life would be if orientals had ruled the world. "Asian Studies" majors are typically very whiny about the lack of opportunities of the socially inept Asian male, and the objectification and "theft" of "their women".
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Asian Studies Major: Look at me, I scrog self-hating, rice-eatin' chicks with a hyperplatinum credit rating on my Premium Wells Fargo account! Don't fuck with me, nor point out my obvious social insecurities less I drop a six-figure income onto your ass!
by C Tan November 13, 2005
Get the Asian Studies mug.Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 4, 2007
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