A high school credit class where you fork over $95 of your parent’s money to be yelled at by a skinny, balding, half-pint, 40-year old Caucasian loser whose only determination is to subdue every helpless senior student in order to redeem his irretrievable dignity. In order to compensate for years of well-deserved torment in his early years, he dangles the prospect of getting behind the wheel of an automobile to keep his pupils pacified.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Driver's Ed Teacher: *Snort*, Nyaaah.... now, none of you are doing to make anything of your lives. If you already have a police citation, then you might as well be a ex-con employee slaving away at Wal*Mart because no professional employer with a decent perception of work ethics were to hire you... *snort snort*
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
by C Tan December 25, 2005
People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan December 28, 2005
Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 04, 2007
Something that racial-fascists are sensitive to. Whiny minorities fail to realize that they themselves maintain ethnic barriers, due to their chronic bitching about offensive racial jibes. Taking stereotypes too seriously just draws more clear boundaries between ethnic groups.
News reporter: Highway traffic crawled down to 25 mph today after several Asian street racers induced a severe automobile logjam at the Route 15 off ramp due to bad driving. Wait, we have a caller.
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
by C Tan December 28, 2005
A course lecturing in the virtues of yellow supremacy, and the delusional outlook on how life would be if orientals had ruled the world. "Asian Studies" majors are typically very whiny about the lack of opportunities of the socially inept Asian male, and the objectification and "theft" of "their women".
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Asian Studies Major: Look at me, I scrog self-hating, rice-eatin' chicks with a hyperplatinum credit rating on my Premium Wells Fargo account! Don't fuck with me, nor point out my obvious social insecurities less I drop a six-figure income onto your ass!
by C Tan November 13, 2005
Dolphins, killer whales, and penguins.
Sometimes silly humans think they are dolphins too, and eat nothing but fish and plants, sometimes flopping deep into the ocean to hunt for food, but getting gnawed apart by a hungry school of sharks instead.
Sometimes silly humans think they are dolphins too, and eat nothing but fish and plants, sometimes flopping deep into the ocean to hunt for food, but getting gnawed apart by a hungry school of sharks instead.
Yeah, Danny thought he was a pescetarian, so he jumped off the cruise ship to look for food, but then a great white ate him!
by C Tan November 14, 2007
Alot of people seem to have the exact definition of patriotism wrong.
Patriotism is the pride in your country, to love your nation because of what it defends and maintains, or in our case, freedom.
However, some twisted fuckers confused it with nationalism, which is NOT patriotism, and is really to submit yourself to the authority of your government, and do everything you can do maintain the survival of your militant nation, especially self sacrifice in the name of blind hate and racism.
Patriotism is the pride in your country, to love your nation because of what it defends and maintains, or in our case, freedom.
However, some twisted fuckers confused it with nationalism, which is NOT patriotism, and is really to submit yourself to the authority of your government, and do everything you can do maintain the survival of your militant nation, especially self sacrifice in the name of blind hate and racism.
A real American example of patriotism is one that defends our rights of protest and freedom. This may also include debating our Federal Government's decisions on social security, medicare, banking, as well as wars.
A fake, sick, un-American, nationalist bigot is some idiot who supports unjust wars in the name of getting to watch muslims die on CNN, without any interest in improving or reforming unjust social and political conditions.
A fake, sick, un-American, nationalist bigot is some idiot who supports unjust wars in the name of getting to watch muslims die on CNN, without any interest in improving or reforming unjust social and political conditions.
by C Tan November 01, 2007