C Tan's definitions
A high school credit class where you fork over $95 of your parent’s money to be yelled at by a skinny, balding, half-pint, 40-year old Caucasian loser whose only determination is to subdue every helpless senior student in order to redeem his irretrievable dignity. In order to compensate for years of well-deserved torment in his early years, he dangles the prospect of getting behind the wheel of an automobile to keep his pupils pacified.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Driver's Ed Teacher: *Snort*, Nyaaah.... now, none of you are doing to make anything of your lives. If you already have a police citation, then you might as well be a ex-con employee slaving away at Wal*Mart because no professional employer with a decent perception of work ethics were to hire you... *snort snort*
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
by C Tan December 25, 2005
Get the Driver's Edmug. People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan December 28, 2005
Get the popularmug. Tasty looking things, without a proper definite size, usually they can range from narrow and long, to miniscule and round. This gives me the impression that Cheetos are just made from the dough-runoffs of other snack food brands, so the makers can just make some extra money.
Manager: The immigrant workers have been complaining about constantly scooping off the excess dough from the cutouts of our Doritos brand.
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
by C Tan April 14, 2006
Get the cheetosmug. Something that impressionable nerds started chowing down on just because Maddox, Chuck Norris, and United States Marines started to talk about the stuff, so wimpy skinny nerds love it too!
Its like when people started twirling pens when they saw Top Gun. Of course they felt it looked retarded, but it looked cool in front of the chicks.
Unfortunately it doesn't obscure the fact that you have poor hygiene, a ugly face, and poor social skills. All you achieved is totally destroying all your taste buds with a shitty sauce thats based upon pure-heat than flavor.
Its like when people started twirling pens when they saw Top Gun. Of course they felt it looked retarded, but it looked cool in front of the chicks.
Unfortunately it doesn't obscure the fact that you have poor hygiene, a ugly face, and poor social skills. All you achieved is totally destroying all your taste buds with a shitty sauce thats based upon pure-heat than flavor.
The only good use for Tabasco Sauce is to hide the lousy taste of terrible cooking.
Otherwise it just ruins and vandalizes good ol' homecooked flavor with vinegar, peppar, and salt.
Your a loser if you eat Tabasco sauce just because Maddox said so. Go BECOME a role model instead of imitating a crazed internet nerd who worked as a telemarketer. You fail at everything in life if you can't make your own decisions and rely on Maddox to tell you what.
Yeah I know there are other crappy flavors of Tabasco, but you'll just get called a faggot by a insecure nerd for looking at a bottle of chipotle sauce.
Otherwise it just ruins and vandalizes good ol' homecooked flavor with vinegar, peppar, and salt.
Your a loser if you eat Tabasco sauce just because Maddox said so. Go BECOME a role model instead of imitating a crazed internet nerd who worked as a telemarketer. You fail at everything in life if you can't make your own decisions and rely on Maddox to tell you what.
Yeah I know there are other crappy flavors of Tabasco, but you'll just get called a faggot by a insecure nerd for looking at a bottle of chipotle sauce.
by C Tan September 11, 2007
Get the tabascomug. A bunch of academic quacks who have substantial abilities in faking their exaggerated reasoning abilities, and resent doing "real work" because they consider it "beneath them".
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
Pseudointellectuals believe in God and his Son's birth only during the Christmas season, so they can upgrade their cell phone plans and state their own independence from "mainstream" society by buying overpriced shirts from the Abercrombie captioned "Fuck Bush".
by C Tan April 18, 2006
Get the pseudointellectualmug. A course lecturing in the virtues of yellow supremacy, and the delusional outlook on how life would be if orientals had ruled the world. "Asian Studies" majors are typically very whiny about the lack of opportunities of the socially inept Asian male, and the objectification and "theft" of "their women".
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Exceptions from the stereotyped zipperhead students, are creepy white guys who have malnourished preteens chained at his kitchen to cook his meals, and "culturally enlightened" folk who congregate together at StarBucks in order to agree on opening new coffee shop chains to preach their "postmodernist" virtues.
Asian Studies Major: Look at me, I scrog self-hating, rice-eatin' chicks with a hyperplatinum credit rating on my Premium Wells Fargo account! Don't fuck with me, nor point out my obvious social insecurities less I drop a six-figure income onto your ass!
by C Tan November 13, 2005
Get the Asian Studiesmug. Something that racial-fascists are sensitive to. Whiny minorities fail to realize that they themselves maintain ethnic barriers, due to their chronic bitching about offensive racial jibes. Taking stereotypes too seriously just draws more clear boundaries between ethnic groups.
News reporter: Highway traffic crawled down to 25 mph today after several Asian street racers induced a severe automobile logjam at the Route 15 off ramp due to bad driving. Wait, we have a caller.
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #1: Yu lacist plick!
Sensitive Asian Anonymous Caller #2: Rook! Don't pray onto our stereotypes. We people, nawt stah-tis-tick!
by C Tan December 28, 2005
Get the stereotypemug.