18 definitions by C Tan
Modern pop culture does not hate it because its "boring", they hate the people who listen to it because it makes themselves feel "smart" and "deep".
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Upon posting this definition of "classical music", a ragtag lynch mob composed of angry college professors, browbeaten Asians with violins, and dweeby bookworms has assembled before my home half a second later to have me tarred and feathered.
by C Tan April 28, 2006
Where a bunch of stupid teenagers try to race by singeing off all of their pubic hairs with Tabasco Sauce.
Hey lets have a Tabasco Challenge!
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
by C Tan September 18, 2007
People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan November 17, 2005
A bunch of academic quacks who have substantial abilities in faking their exaggerated reasoning abilities, and resent doing "real work" because they consider it "beneath them".
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
Pseudointellectuals believe in God and his Son's birth only during the Christmas season, so they can upgrade their cell phone plans and state their own independence from "mainstream" society by buying overpriced shirts from the Abercrombie captioned "Fuck Bush".
by C Tan March 19, 2006
Idol of impressionable computer geeks everywhere.
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model and god. Fucking go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
by C Tan October 29, 2007
Monosodium Glutamate, the brainchild of a top-secret Oriental-sponsored military project to render white people bald, fat, and impotent for the impending yellow invasion commencing in the 22nd Century.
Adding MSG to common foods found in your local Ranch 99 market was not difficult, since Monosodium Glutamate is practically the only thing in Oriental cuisine ("Chinese food") that tastes good to non-Asians.
Adding MSG to common foods found in your local Ranch 99 market was not difficult, since Monosodium Glutamate is practically the only thing in Oriental cuisine ("Chinese food") that tastes good to non-Asians.
by C Tan July 12, 2006
To be hit by a elbow, also known as the "chicken wing slap". Harder to deliver, as it requires your opponent to be behind you, but more effective than a punch, since your wrist would twist slightly as your fist connected, reducing the overall force exerted. A elbow can be delivered quicker, so it hurts more, often with a quick jolt of your shoulders.
Chicken winging somebody in front of you is not advised.
Chicken winging somebody in front of you is not advised.
After this chollo slapped my head against a paper-thin aluminin locker, I chicken winged him off my back and stomped his teeth in.
by C Tan October 29, 2005