Definitions by Bottom Ford

micro hobby 

A hobby you spend hardly any time on, but that you claim because you bought the gear.

Bottom says he’s taken up bodyboarding, but it’s just a vacation micro hobby.

micro hobby by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

preemptive mimicry 

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

preemptive mimicry by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

blushworthy 

An adjective to describe anything worth blushing about.

Bottom hardly ever does anything blushworthy, but last week he was sleeping too close to the edge and fell off the bed.

blushworthy by Bottom Ford September 4, 2010

hand hula 

A dance you can do with your hands while sitting at a stop light.

When Teenage Dream came on I wanted to jump out of my seat, but because I was driving I had to settle for the hand hula.

hand hula by Bottom Ford August 25, 2010

office chair ballet 

A turning dance performed with the aid of office chairs. May be synchronized with people you work with that you like.

In office chair ballet I can do eleven pirouettes!

office chair ballet by Bottom Ford August 25, 2010

mosquito tinnitus 

A ringing in the ears that sounds like a hovering mosquito, brought on by the anticipation that mosquitoes WILL begin to torment you just as you are dozing off.

I spent half the night swatting mosquitoes that weren’t there. Guess it was just mosquito tinnitus.

mosquito tinnitus by Bottom Ford August 21, 2010

Mill Creek, WA

The world’s best hiding place. You would never go there expecting to find someone interesting. Zero stalkers. Zero paparazzi. Zero vampires.

“I heard Matt Damon bought a house in Mill Creek, WA.”
“Smart move. No one will look for him there.”

Mill Creek, WA by Bottom Ford May 4, 2010