Bird Law

It's not the law of the land, but the law of the sky.

It's not against bird law to shit on your new car.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 13, 2018

Tricks

A trick is what whores do for money.

Not to be confused with illusion

They're not tricks, Michael! They're illusions!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 14, 2018

Reason

A justification to yourself for a bad decision.

I want to get blackout on a Tuesday but I'll need a reason first. . .

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

Gender Studies

An academic field created out of thin air and built on a foundation of bullshit. It recruits unsocialized, lesbian undergraduates and teaches them the proper technique for blaming all of their real and imaginary problems on a hypothetical, ancient, patriarchal conspiracy.

Gender Studies should be a fascinating subject but it’s only studied by insane people.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover March 24, 2019

The Constitution

A magical document that always agrees with you.

You can't charge $14 for movie popcorn because the Constitution says so!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

ordering Chinese

When you make a delivery order for Chinese food and then you tell your man to fuck you. So he does, in the ass, on the living-room coffee table. Just as he’s balls-deep, the Uber Eats guy knocks on the door.

But it swings wide open (as if you left it ajar on purpose). Now he’s 7-feet away from you just staring. Slowly, he steps forward and asks with a real sexy voice:

Somebody order THIS DICK?!

Ordering Chinese later if you want some!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 09, 2019

diddly squat

diddly squat ain’t but nuthin’ at all

I had DIDDLY SQUAT to do with selling all that gay pornography to those terrorists!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover August 19, 2019