Big Ed Moustapha's definitions
Big Ed Moustapha is the benchmark for greatness. See story:
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
For waiting behind door number three was probably the greatest gift ever available to mankind. That prize, was being granted the privilege of being allowed to smell the butt of The Big Ed Moustapha for an entire two minutes!!! You could hear the audience moan for miles! Poody’s heart sank. His feelings of sorrow and despair soon changed to anger and desperation. Eventually Poody had to be restrained and was forcibly removed from the studio. As he was being carried out, Poody was heard to be crying out: ‘I meant to say door number three!!’ ‘I meant to say door number three!!’.
by Big Ed Moustapha April 19, 2010
Get the Big Ed Moustapha mug.This definition refers to a guy's inability to aim his cock when he's taking a piss. This lack of skill is quite apparent when the perp is done and there are yellow pee stains on the toilet rim and floor. Some douche bags don't even bother to lift the toilet seat and piss all over it as well. Ya gotta wonder when you see pools of pee on the floor in front of a urinal only a few inches from a dude's dick how he can manage to fuck that process up. Perhaps some day somebody will patent crosshairs for dicks so a sporting guy can practice his marksmanship.
by Big Ed Moustapha August 14, 2010
Get the Piss Poor Shot mug.This expression is generally found within the walls of a prison. To question a fellow prisoners success regarding the conquest of another prisoners anal cavity.
As Roosevelt and Big Ed Moustapha returned from the showers, Nick the Pig yelled out: 'Hey Big Ed, did ya get ya some stink?!'.
by Big Ed Moustapha December 22, 2008
Get the Did ya get ya some stink?! mug.Poopourri is the residue left on a toilet seat after someone has taken a bad and messy shit. Generally so bad that it requires you to seek another toilet to utilize.
Damn, who the hell keeps leaving the poopourri all over the shitter? I'm tired of having to run upstairs because our crapper is so fucked up!
by Big Ed Moustapha June 22, 2009
Get the Poopourri mug.Poop Shnaegel is shit that ends up on your hands as you wipe your ass. This is of no consequence to those who wash their hands after taking a dump, but can become an issue to those who don't.
Damn, I took a juicy dump today and got poop shnaegel all over my right hand. I was really pissed when I discovered the sink wasn't working and there were no towels to wipe off my stained, stinky hand! I almost forgot about it till I started to eat a donut and got a wiff of my last dump. No wonder my dog kept wanting to lick my fingers.
by Big Ed Moustapha October 7, 2009
Get the poop shnaegel mug.Poopoo platter is a variation on name of the the Chinese dish; pupu platter. Poopoo platter refers to a load of shit left in a toilet thoughtfully left for you by the previous occupant. Generally by the time you've discovered the delicacy, it's turned the toilet water a murky brown, as the turds have started to disintegrate.
Hey asshole, didn't your mother teach you how to flush a toilet?! The next time I find a load of your poopoo platter left in the toilet, you're gonna eat it!
by Big Ed Moustapha June 22, 2009
Get the poopoo platter mug.Ink on Stink refers to women of lesser intelligence that believe a tattoo makes them more sexy, allows them to make a statement of some kind, or is just stylish. In reality it shows their lack of intelligence and vulnerability to an impulse to distort their body without a thought to future consequences. It makes them look slutty, which is where the Stink portion of this expression comes from, since sluts frequently have stinky vaginas. Ever see a woman with a tattoo she got years before that is now indistinguishable due to older sagging skin?
A Tramp Stamp is a good example of Ink on Stink. You have to wonder how many guys have had their hands all over it as well as the rest of the bimbo's body. Some women even use tattoos to attempt to cover up stretch marks.
by Big Ed Moustapha June 14, 2011
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