Alpino's definitions

General Order Number One

A series of military general orders prohibiting alcohol, war souvenirs, pornography, pets, satellite TV, wireless internet, Blogs, fraternization with opposite sex in war zones. Sort of like WW2s Catch-22. It means you can get in trouble for just about any non-military activity. Thanks Vietnam!

"dude... look at this Hustler, cute kitten, haji pistol, bottle of JD"

"put it away you stupid fuck before we get in more trouble"

"uh, yah General Order Number One, shit!!!"

by Alpino March 29, 2010

ski trash

The reality of ski bums... the cute name for these type of "professional" skiers who exist hand to mouth, mooching beers or bongs, living on other peoples couches... but have a really good time skiing over 100 times a season!

Half the people in this town on unemployment or washing dishes at night are ski trash.

Q. What do you call ski trash without a girlfriend?

A. Homeless

by Alpino March 15, 2010

Army

A part of the US military that uses acronyms and knows how to spell, unlike their USMC brothers that think ARMY is an acronym for "ain't ready to be marines yet". When I tried it was ARTBMY. US ARMY actually means "Uncle Sam Ass Raped Me Yesterday"

- Have fought in every war for our nation, not guarded unruly sailors.

- Are capable of thinking, at least the Airborne, SF, Rangers. A very dangerous weapon indeed! The Marines react, which has its place.

- Are not a branch of the Navy

- The ARMY gives awards for "being"

- Wears black berets like Saddam Hussein did

- Gets things done without a cheerleader type PR... you know who does. The ARMY hires shitty advertising agencies.

- Admits to its mistakes

It's a War when the Army gets involved.

by Alpino October 28, 2008

shartburn

what happens after a shart

loud gurgling greasy fart

Dude, that one's gonna burn. You'd better cleanup quick, or you're gonna get a bad case of shartburn!

tosses him a pack of baby wipes

by Alpino December 15, 2008

x-rated photos

Also known as "kill books" . Really nasty bloody brain splattered photographs of dead Iraqis or Afghanis taken by grunts after the shooting stops. A lot of these are traded like baseball cards, and often wind up in the hands of pogues and fobbits who use them to talk shit back in the world "look how bad-ass I was"

"dude, you'd better not let the MPs searching our shit in Kuwait find your x-rated photos or you'll get an Article 15"

by Alpino March 29, 2010

alpini

the Italian mountain troops

per gli alpini l'impossibile non esiste

for the Alpini the impossible does not exist

by Alpino November 6, 2009

gay in the streets, straight in the sheets

A phenomena for whatever kind ofimage, that a man or woman appear in public to be gay, but are actually straight in their personal life. Is it to empathize with the oppressed? Or just to be the heppest "mui cool" person around. A sexual poser.

Sally- Kyle is such a fine lookin' man... too bad he's gay, sigh.

Mary- no, I can tell you a very different story, he is gay in the streets, straight in the sheets.

by Alpino July 20, 2010