Al Benedict's definitions

Dimes will get you dollars

Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.

Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.

Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.

by Al Benedict June 30, 2021

Spamburst

When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.

I probably got your message. It just got caught in a spamburst yesterday.

by Al Benedict October 1, 2008

Scottish Food

Macdonalds food for when you want to avoid admitting you ate at Macdonalds.

Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.

by Al Benedict July 29, 2013

Shrubbery

An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.

Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."

Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"

by Al Benedict June 28, 2013

Windows Moment

A 10-15 second period of total unresponsiveness encountered when using a PC running any version of Microsoft Windows. Traditionally occurs several times an hour. Just long enough to become disturbing and annoying, not long enough to inspire a reboot. Generally the mouse continues to move. When the moment ends, the user is usually left to deal with the consequences of the keys they struck in frustration while it was ongoing.

Sure, I'll pull that up right now. Ummm... Dammit, my computer's having a Windows Moment. Hang on.

by Al Benedict August 4, 2007

<yawn>

Internet speak for "Oh shit. I just lost the argument."

Bob: So that's why your argument makes no sense.
Bill: <yawn> Whatever, dude.
Bob: Victory is mine.

by Al Benedict June 23, 2012

Prefix Rock

In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".

I'm so sick of Prefix Rock. Gimme some of the real stuff, like Springsteen!

by Al Benedict April 4, 2008