Al Benedict's definitions
Television shows or glossy magazines featuring real estate, automobiles, gadgets, boats or furniture of the type preferred by the stereotypical yuppie, even if they are not written or shot with the intention of selling the actual products. A derogatory spin on the stereotype that yuppies receive the same stimulation from material objects that non-yuppies do from sex. Yuppie porno or yuppie pornography can be used.
"Yuppie porn at the New York Times": Title of an article on salon.com about the New York Times' new real estate quarterly.
by Al Benedict November 12, 2006
Get the Yuppie Porn mug.A tree one displays in one's living room in the middle of February. Generally, very similar to a Christmas tree, but much drier. Ideally decorated with small scraps of tinsel, but having a complete set of Christmas ornaments is acceptable. An alternate method of display is to lay it on its side in the front yard.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
by Al Benedict February 5, 2008
Get the Valentine's Day Tree mug.Are you Oneing the two in there?
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
by Al Benedict October 7, 2010
Get the Oneing the two mug.When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
by Al Benedict October 1, 2008
Get the Spamburst mug.An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.
Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
by Al Benedict June 28, 2013
Get the Shrubbery mug.Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
Get the Dimes will get you dollars mug.1) A hard piece of shit that is starting to emerge from between your cheeks before you get to the toilet.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
2) A notoriously bad, self indulgent film by Vincent Gallo.
Bob: (Bangs on stall door) "Hurry up! I've got a Brown Bunny here!"
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
Bill: "OK, OK" (Leaves stall)
Bob: "Thanks!" (Grabs cans of film and rushes in. Seconds later, a flushing sound is heard)
Bob: "Ahhh... That's much better." (Emerges with now empty film cans).
by Al Benedict August 18, 2009
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