Al Benedict's definitions
A 10-15 second period of total unresponsiveness encountered when using a PC running any version of Microsoft Windows. Traditionally occurs several times an hour. Just long enough to become disturbing and annoying, not long enough to inspire a reboot. Generally the mouse continues to move. When the moment ends, the user is usually left to deal with the consequences of the keys they struck in frustration while it was ongoing.
by Al Benedict August 4, 2007
Get the Windows Moment mug.A shibboleth that people that believe that the English language should be static use to find each other.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.
Q: "What is the correct way to say a word is not spelled properly?"
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."
by Al Benedict August 21, 2011
Get the misspelt mug.An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.
Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
by Al Benedict June 28, 2013
Get the Shrubbery mug.Television shows or glossy magazines featuring real estate, automobiles, gadgets, boats or furniture of the type preferred by the stereotypical yuppie, even if they are not written or shot with the intention of selling the actual products. A derogatory spin on the stereotype that yuppies receive the same stimulation from material objects that non-yuppies do from sex. Yuppie porno or yuppie pornography can be used.
"Yuppie porn at the New York Times": Title of an article on salon.com about the New York Times' new real estate quarterly.
by Al Benedict November 12, 2006
Get the Yuppie Porn mug.Are you Oneing the two in there?
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
Well, it's not like I have choice. You threw out the brush.
It was gross
by Al Benedict October 7, 2010
Get the Oneing the two mug.A tree one displays in one's living room in the middle of February. Generally, very similar to a Christmas tree, but much drier. Ideally decorated with small scraps of tinsel, but having a complete set of Christmas ornaments is acceptable. An alternate method of display is to lay it on its side in the front yard.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
The proper method of celebrating a Valentine's Day Tree is to stay at least 3 feet away from it and not make eye contact.
A 4th of July tree is very similar, only with brown needles instead of green.
by Al Benedict February 5, 2008
Get the Valentine's Day Tree mug.Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
Get the Scottish Food mug.