Lick and a Promise

This is originally London slang and quite an old expression; its first recorded use is in 1838 in an English newspaper (The Era) where it was used to describe a uninterested or half-assed attempt at any sort of task or job. Gradually its use changed until, by the time The Era closed in 1939, it was used and still is used to describe a perfunctory wash, less thorough that even HF-AGBA, a BBA or an airplane bath.

Malcolm’s really stinking this morning, I don’t think he even bothered with a lick and a promise.

by AKACroatalin September 09, 2016

BBB

Acronym standing for Bullshit Baffles Brains. There is some truth in this as highly persuasive people can influence even the most intelligent to support their opinion. In Britain Parliamentary lobbyists are a case in point and let’s face it, whoever they meet, they won’t be talking the sharpest tool in the shed. These groups achieve their objectives by representing their arguments as reasonable, the view of the vast majority of people, the only sensible course and by securing the support of other groups or organisations. The only requirement for the BBB effect to take hold and to avoid scrutiny is for there to be no direct challenge to the assertions of the bullshitter. Read the Bat-faced Jelly entry to see what can happen with the BBB effect.

NOTE: In 1945 a British 'A' Class submarine, HMS Aurochs, was launched. The submarine's motto was 'Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat' which translates as 'a bull's excrement can fool a wise man' or Bullshit Baffles Brains. From this we know that the acronym must have been in widespread use during and before the World War 2.

Malcolm hasn’t a clue what the answer is, so he’s waffling in the hope that BBB.

by AKACroatalin March 18, 2019

Dooberry

A mild slang name for a penis, supposedly less offensive that cock, prick, or dick, it does not have the fecal connotations of dingleberry but is used to describe the penis in much the same circumstances by much the same people. In addition it can also be used as a mildly disparaging term for a person who has exasperated you by doing something atypically stupid.

"I had to rush like hell to get here on time. I was halfway here when I remembered I'd left the contract in my desk at home and had to go back for them, I felt like a right dooberry."

by AKACroatalin March 16, 2015

Traffic Calming Measure

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.

I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016

Cock Happy

This expression can be used to describe anyone, male, female or transgender. When applied to a male it usually means that he is a monkey fucking idiot who thinks only about sex and is only happy when he is using his cock and will use it on any female even the most minging munter imaginable. When applied to a female the implication is that she is a nymphomaniac and is only happy when she has a cock, any cock, even that of a monkey fucking idiot inside her. With transgender either or both definitions could apply.

Malcolm would like to be cock happy, but he washed it for the first time and it shrank to a winky.

by AKACroatalin December 29, 2016

Untoward

Untoward has a number of different meanings, three of the commonest uses are as follows:-

1 Unexpected and inconvenient;
2 Inappropriate, improper or unseemly;
3 Unfavourable or adverse;

1 The picnic was interrupted by an untoward shower of rain;
2 Malcolm’s untoward advances were rewarded with a kick in the nuts;
3 Some prescription drugs have untoward side effects;

by AKACroatalin October 24, 2016

Farty-breath

An expression used to describe a person with halitosis or bad breath. This can range from someone with mildly unpleasant bad breath because they’ve been up all night and haven’t had a chance to brush their teeth to someone with a real problem. You know the sort of person I mean, their teeth look like the bones of animal carcases or the weathered moss covered tombstones in a neglected graveyard; and their breath, oh lord their breath, it smells like a cross between rotting fish and the decomposing faecal emissions of a diseased pig and should be declared a biohazard.

“Oh shit! It’s farty-breath! I wish I had a gasmask.”

by AKACroatalin August 01, 2015