A Minnesotan's definitions

Venus Glassing

An instance where a wifely figure is blamed for releasing fog-demons in an elevator. Also appropriate-and more well known-for the sounds emitted from the bathroom in the morning. I.e fogged mirrors from fog-demons.

'Honey...were those barking spiders or were you venus glassing again?'

*points at wife in elevator* 'she really enjoys venus glassing. It wasnt me'

by A Minnesotan November 20, 2018

Half buried flashlight

A sex act involving a flashlight OR male genitalia. Usually done on a snowy evening; preferably not in Russia as bad results have been reported.

Shall we split a tangerine or maaaybe a little half buried flashlight tonight?

by A Minnesotan November 5, 2018

Split a Tangerine

Sex act which will ultimately end in the saddest 21st birthday imaginable. 9 partners (or less) in a tent. May cause the tent to cut away from the inside so adhere to caution; do not indulge this fantasy if you happen to be travelling in a chilly climate.

'Shall we split a tangerine?'
'Oh...I am SOO going to split a tangerine tonight'
'Splitting a tangerine is a beautiful thing'
'The yeti enjoys splitting tangerines'

'Sharing is caring if a tangerine is involved *wink wink*'

by A Minnesotan November 6, 2018

Masterbaker

Someone who enjoys double clicking the mouse *ahem* which also (due to profession) may cause yeast infections, for males there may be a disturbing rising in the....*dough*.... also a legend in the pleasure department.

I hear you're a masterbaker.. any tips for helping my bread stick rise?

I am the masterbaker. Prepare to be rolled out and devoured.

'Yes...pharmacy? I recently had a one night stand with a masterbaker. Now I have an unnerving scent of cinnamon from my muffin and it won't go away...tips?'

by A Minnesotan December 13, 2018

JackCity

A place where a roided out male can try show off his douchey attributes. Generally has a notebook out with tallies so everyone can see how many 'pull ups' (they werent pullups) he did. Oftentimes another page will have the same amount of tallies for self pleasuring because JackCity is a lonely place.

Welcome to JackCity; where I am my own queen.

JackCity is the worst. When I cry the roids just leak out.

JackCity; where the loneliness is only overdone by the amount of 'Chad'.

by A Minnesotan December 19, 2018

Welcome to Jackcity

A term only a pure douche hopped up on roids and an ego would use. Oftentimes in front of a mirror and whispers it to himself as he faintly smiles at his tally marked notebook of morning pullups...always left open so others can see (they werent pullups *cough*).

Also. Tis a lonely place in Jackcity so the amount of tally marks for workout are only outdone by the amount of JACKing off done (and yes there is a tally page for that as well)

Welcome to jackcity; where the doucheyness shines brighter than the roid glow.

Welcome to jackcity; if you can jack it you may become the town mayor.

Welcome to jackcity; where shirtless selfie mirrors are only as joyless as what they aaaactually serve at Whitecastle.

by A Minnesotan December 19, 2018

Love knows no bounds

A saying someone may say if they're wondering if cheating on a significant other counts IF the other woman is of a spiritual/ghostly origin.

'I was driven to madness by her beautiful glow inside the elevator; sorry honey!'

'....she WAS the librarian ghost from ghostbusters...so...free pass?'

'Darling..my love knows no bounds...I support all forms of life..I do NOT discriminate so...should I be getting you flowers..or?'

by A Minnesotan January 1, 2019