-HEF-'s definitions
My girlfriend is a bottle shopper. She spent 30 minutes in the shampoo aisle looking for a bottle 3 inches wide and 10 inches long to fuck.
by -HEF- September 3, 2009
Get the bottle shopper mug.My wife keeps a lock on the ball jar to keep me in line.
My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.
My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.
by -hef- September 16, 2009
Get the ball jar mug.In order to keep her gash tight, she had a c-section, but now she has a scargunt. Why I gotta see the scargunt on the beach?
by -HEF- October 23, 2008
Get the scargunt mug.by -HEF- September 20, 2009
Get the Gamatio mug.This is the large cooking spoon your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Often made of plastic and large enough to whale on 2 asses at one time, the doom spoon was able to withstand years of abuse. The doom spoon typically came with holes in it to prevent wind resistance and increase velocity, pre-impact. The doom spoon also often was used as a projectile when the target could not be reached, e.g. when the target climbs a tree to avoid the beating, the doom spoon may be thrown at the ass to inflict low-level pain.
The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."
The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."
Mothers across the world switched from wooden doom spoons to plastic in the early part of the 20th century in order to prevent splintering.
by -hef- November 10, 2009
Get the Doom Spoon mug.I was sitting on the couch and used a pillow as a gut cover.
I untuck my shirt in the front so as to make people think it's just an untucked shirt and not all gut.
I wear a t-shirt in the pool as a gut cover.
Women are lucky because if they have large boobs, it pulls the shirt out beyond their gut, doing 2 things: 1) providing an effective gut cover and 2) providing a distraction to pull the eyes away from the gut cover to stare at the ample tittlery.
Sweaters that are ribbed at the waist provide an excellent gut cover.
All overweight male porn stars should quit. However, if they must work in porn, please always make them wear a t-shirt as a gut cover.
Women in porn who wear a garter belt as a gu(n)t cover... it doesn't work, we can still see that In-N-Out buger on your gunt. Especially with the arrival of HD porn.
Folding your arms over your belly while you are sitting down makes a terrible gut cover. Stop doing that.
I untuck my shirt in the front so as to make people think it's just an untucked shirt and not all gut.
I wear a t-shirt in the pool as a gut cover.
Women are lucky because if they have large boobs, it pulls the shirt out beyond their gut, doing 2 things: 1) providing an effective gut cover and 2) providing a distraction to pull the eyes away from the gut cover to stare at the ample tittlery.
Sweaters that are ribbed at the waist provide an excellent gut cover.
All overweight male porn stars should quit. However, if they must work in porn, please always make them wear a t-shirt as a gut cover.
Women in porn who wear a garter belt as a gu(n)t cover... it doesn't work, we can still see that In-N-Out buger on your gunt. Especially with the arrival of HD porn.
Folding your arms over your belly while you are sitting down makes a terrible gut cover. Stop doing that.
by -HEF- September 20, 2009
Get the Gut Cover mug.1. what you call someone that is too young to understand something.
2. what you call someone younger than you.
2. what you call someone younger than you.
by -hef- September 18, 2009
Get the diaper dick mug.