This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 23, 2009
The lesbian daughter of former US vice president Dick Cheney. Mary Cheney and her life partner, Heather Poe, have two children, Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, both of whom are the result of a lesbian miracle. Ms. Cheney revealed in a recent interview that her children's names were inspired by a line of dialogue spoken by fictional race car driver Ricky Bobby in Ms. Cheney's favorite film, Talladega Nights.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Mary Cheney was the director of vice presidential operations for the Bush-Cheney 2004 Presidential re-election campaign, which is rather ironic considering the fact that the Bush Administration's official policy on gays and lesbians is that they "should all shut the hell up and stop being all gay and stuff"*.
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. January 04, 2012
Paper food is an alternate term for fast food.
If someone hands you food wrapped in paper or styrofoam, you're about to eat some paper food.
If someone hands you food wrapped in paper or styrofoam, you're about to eat some paper food.
The Mango Mussolini seems as clueless as one can be about fine cuisine, as he is known to eat steak with ketchup and proudly consumes paper food on a regular basis.
Being drunk and stoned at three in the morning is a precarious place to be if you're trying to avoid paper food.
Being drunk and stoned at three in the morning is a precarious place to be if you're trying to avoid paper food.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 05, 2017
A synonym for the interwebs, especially when used to seek very specific information for the purpose of settling an argument, wager, or simply to satisfy the randomly curious mind.
The Oracle is rarely consulted within the confines of a sketch pad, such as a crack house.
The Oracle is rarely consulted within the confines of a sketch pad, such as a crack house.
person a: 'When did George W. Bush get busted for cocaine possession?'
person b: 'I don't know - let's ask The Oracle!'
person b: 'I don't know - let's ask The Oracle!'
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 25, 2008
Person A: I hate my new job with a passion. These drug tests are fucking intrusive and I can't smoke the herb anymore.
Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.
Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.
Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 26, 2009
The mustache of a cunnilingus aficionado. Generally bushy, and smelling slightly of poon juice, thereby offering a lingering olfactory reward to the twat broom's owner.
Dude, how can you rock that twat broom, when it totally interferes with your consumption of the david lee roth?
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
The twat broom requires some sacrifices, but also offers certain rewards that defy description in polite society.
You mean like how your face always smells like a pussy?
Exactly!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 12, 2010
This term refers to a baby-sized penis which is located on the crotch of a full-grown man.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Confucius say, "man with crotch nipple much more likely to join Marines".
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 14, 2010